Confessions of a Writing Obsession

In response to Coffee Challenge: Why I want to be a better me in 2022

I’m not going to lie. 2021 wasn’t as challenging as other years. A messy divorce some time ago still takes the cake.

But it certainly was testing and a shocking wake-up call. My patience and faith in humanity were both questioned as Covid continued to dominate our lives. A friend died, and another had a heart attack. They were brutal reminders of the precariousness of life and the wear and tear of the body with age — and nasty habits.

My saviour was writing. I put my heart and soul into words.

I have spent hours writing short and long-form, with a splash of poetry here and there. My nursing and teaching careers and my childhood memories have been plentiful sources for personal stories and opinionated pieces. My photographs, too, have served as writing inspiration and a welcome alternative for introductory story images. The two go beautifully hand in hand.

However, writing is starting to show its pitfalls. What initially brought me utter joy has snowballed into an obsession. Writing dominates my waking hours — and often my sleeping ones, too. It has started to impact both my physical and mental health. I’ve let it take over my mind and rule my days.

This is not a good thing.

Our health is the most important part of life and we tend to take it for granted — until it’s too late. Our minds influence our actions; our actions influence our bodies. How we live is a personal choice.

My challenge to myself for 2022 is to regain balance in my life.

The consequences of obsession

I’ve ignored everything else around me. I have dust-bunnies galore and no desire to do any of the things that I used to enjoy. I’ve stopped doing all my crafts, have barely read a book, or watched a movie on Netflix.

I’m slow to respond to emails and texts. My inboxes are flooded to the point I’m missing important messages.

I can’t keep up with reader responses or favourite writers’ stories. I’m obsessed with my stats and get disappointed if a story bombs.

Sometimes I can’t sleep because I’ve got a story in my head and I need to write it down. Other times, I can’t write. This has become a noticeable issue since my friend passed. My drafts are piling up as my stories lack direction, meaning, and purpose.

I sit. I (try to) write. I read. I comment. I clap.

Repeat.

I’ve always been an energizer bunny, but I’ve slowly morphed into a slug. I barely exercise or go out. The sedentary life of a writer does not agree with me. I’ve gained weight, and I’m tired all the time.

I’ve got an intruder in my head and I want it out!

Something has to change.

Finding equilibrium; challenging the obsession to a better me

1. The Inbox

I was touting how to keep your inbox from getting out of control just months ago. It’s time for me to practice what I preach.

The Challenge: Last week, I changed my Medium email address so that all notifications bypass my personal email. It was instant relief! Sure, they’re now piling up somewhere else, but I have to click into that email purposefully, and I’ve mentally associated it with fun rather than pressing matters. If I don’t get to stories or comments, it isn’t the end of the world.

I endeavour to answer personal emails in a more timely manner instead of letting them get scrolled down and forgotten. If someone has taken the time to send me a message, I should reciprocate quickly.

I’ll take my own advice from Laptop Laundry and unsubscribe from those pesky emails that somehow reinfiltrate your inbox, even though they’ve been previously marked as spam.

I’ll put aside a few moments each day to tackle the backlog, at the same time as keeping up with the present.

2. Writing

Working from home has its benefits but also its pitfalls. So does spending hours on the computer for both work and pleasure. Unfortunately, my tiny apartment has become my office at the expense of my haven. I can’t have an exclusive area for writing and another for work. There is no room!

However, I’m lucky. Writing is a hobby, not my job.

It’s time to slow down and reset. Less is more.

I need to take back my evenings to enjoy other activities such as crafts and reading. My mind has to be more zen before settling to bed. There has to be a balance between productivity and relaxation.

The Challenge: I’ll fulfill my obligation to The Daily Cuppa with short forms and my weekly editing responsibility. I find short-form easy; long forms not-so-much. I’ll focus more on building my publication Nursing Notes, but within the boundaries I’m setting below.

Three weekday evenings will be computer-free; No emails. No writing. No reading stories on Medium. It will be the time to enjoy my crafts while soaking in a movie or television series. I need to be flexible on the days, given my ever-changing work schedule, but it needs to happen.

Reading each night as soon as I hop into bed will help distract my thoughts and relax my mind. No games, surfing, or reading on my phone either. Screen time is known to wind the brain back up again.

I’ll keep a list of the books I’ve read and the movies I’ve watched. It will keep me on target and true to myself.

3. Personal Health

This will be the most formidable challenge; rejuvenating my passion for fitness. Not only is it a must for my physical health — I’m not getting any younger — it spawns positivity in mental health.

It’s easy in summer; the days are warm and inviting, the sidewalks clear. Winter is brutal; it’s often freezing out, and it’s icy as heck. Yes, there’s the gym; I have one in my building. But, the government has just shut them all down again with the Omicron breakout.

The Challenge: I know better than to make exercise goals that aren’t realistic. My promise to myself is to find time each day to do something physically active and get outdoors regardless of the weather.

“Fresh air is as good for the mind as for the body. Nature always seems trying to talk to us as if she had some great secret to tell. And so she has.” John Lubbock

It doesn’t have to be crazy fitness routines. Emily Kingsley highlighted in her story how simple, everyday tasks can contribute to fitness.

I’m going to be gentle with myself to ensure success. I’ll take baby steps instead of great strides to start; using the stairs instead of using the elevator, parking my car further from my destination than usual, and going out for a walk regardless of the weather. Even housework is exercise, and my tiny place gets incredibly dusty in no time.

Once the gym reopens, I’ll go three times a week. I know the hardest part is getting there, so I’ll enlist my son to kick my butt — and maybe he’ll join me.

Physical health also incorporates diet. I’ll get back to planning meals in advance and shop accordingly. My biggest obstacle to eating well is thinking about what to cook when it’s last minute. It’s fun discovering old — and new — recipes, plus it saves money if you shop according to a menu.

I’m sure doing all of the above — plus eliminating screen time at night — will also help me sleep better. Sleep is so underrated, yet crucial for good health.

I’ve used all these strategies in the past and was successful. I can do it again.

I want to. I have to.

Changing the balance

I need to regain my physical and mental health because I don’t want to end up like either of my friends.

I’m ready and armed now to become a better me; to return to my old self. My goals are not unrealistic or unattainable. They are practical solutions to tweak and manage the sedentary lifestyle that I have fallen into and that is causing me grief.

It’s completely up to me. Only I can find that balance by putting me on my ‘to do’ list.

Time and balance are the two most difficult things to have control over, yet they are both the things that we do control. Catherine Pulsifer

Look out, dust bunnies! Let’s go!