RELATIONSHIPS

Confessions of a Serial Highlighter

There is no excuse for my despicable actions

And no better place to start than at the beginning, so let me do that.

I know you’ve heard the rumours. I know you saw the comments. I know you sensed something was off when I started clearing my browsing history. And stopped posting stuff on social media. I know you didn’t believe it when I told you I was working late. Or when I spent hours away from you with my new friends. Or the other time when you saw the private message on my article which I didn’t let you read.

I know you have many questions so let me try to answer them.

It’s been going on for some months now. It started out with a notification, an email from the daily digest. I clicked and I read. I clapped for their articles, several of them. I followed them then slid into their DM.

They introduced me to their buddies who invited me to join their support group. They talked of being ghosted by curators and being denied entry into the big pubs. They talked about the increasing number of bots in their follower list and of being blocked after one read.

But I want you to know it’s not you. It’s me. You have a smart mind. You convey complex ideas in an easy to read manner. It’s what attracted me to you in the first place. You pulled me in from the first sentence and kept me hooked till the last period. I was drawn in by the colourful yet vulnerable essays. How you oscillate between sensitivity and intelligence. I got engrossed from the get-go.

But I have a wandering eye. I have an insatiable appetite. I get fascinated by new ideas. By headings that sound like clickbait. And those that sound like a conversation between two old friends. Mixed in with those that sound like a thesis and the quirky ones too. Headings and titles which entice. A need for variety and spice.

This is not about you, it was me all along. And I am sorry you got caught up in this. I won’t blame it on the algorithm; knowing how it rewards you for being active on the platform. I won’t blame it on the follow- for- follow culture either. There is only one person to blame. I am responsible for the damage I have caused.

The string of highlighted articles I have left across Medium? There is nothing and no one who can reverse that activity.

I hope you won’t block me. I hope we can catch up once in a while. I hope you will continue to engage with my content and clap and comment like you used to.

But I will understand if you want nothing to do with me. I betrayed your trust when I strayed. I was a coward; driven by the need for entertainment. Driven by the need for nuances on old ideas. Driven by the hunger for knowledge.

I will find more articles to highlight. I will find another story to read. I will find other people to follow. I will move on from this.

You won’t.

And for that I am sorry.

I would like to invite you to join my newsletter. But please know you are not the only one.…..

As always thanks for reading. Keep the comments and corrections coming.

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