Confessions of a Chronic Over Thinker
How to hoodwink your overactive brain to think less
I have been thinking about writing this story for the last forty five minutes. Not researching, reading up or making mental notes mind you. Just thinking!
About what? To understand that in its truest sense you have to join the over thinker’s club. I am sure one exists in your neighbourhood. But, it’s usually a well kept secret.
Jokes apart, overthinking can be a serious barrier in the way of leading a happy and productive life in general and a writer’s life in particular.
Who is an Over thinker?
Someone who is deeply reflective. Which is a brilliant thing. But, also someone who can fall prey to chronic anxiety. Which is not desirable. Take me for example: I was taught by my father to be introspective and deeply reflective. I am thankful for that because to me introspection is a quintessential human quality.
However, I was also a sensitive child who wanted to go through this world being liked by all. I was and still am deeply intuitive about how others are feeling because of my words or actions.
That is a lethal combination. Because you become prone to thinking, re thinking, re re thinking and ultimately over thinking. This can cause chronic anxiety.
Which leads to action paralysis.
I saw my own father suffer from action paralysis all his life. In fact, the poor gentleman got so fatigued from his overthinking that he sometimes had to take a nap to revive his overworked brain. And the job he was overthinking about, remained not done.
What we think, we become.— Buddha
However, all is not lost. The flip side of being an introspective over thinker is the self realisation of your state. Then, if you are a solution focused problem solver like me, you find a way to STOP.
I had to find a way to my overthinking not get in the way of my professional life or my writing.
I hoodwinked my overactive brain to think less
Here’s how:
- The first step to that was not giving myself any extra time to get things done. My day job has a hectic schedule which is actually helpful for me. No time to over think. For my writing, I created a busy schedule for myself. And I became a hard task master to make myself stick to it. For example: I gave myself 30 minutes to schedule my whole week’s social media posts. Which meant I had to pretty much get my 6 posts out without torturing over the perfect font/ image/quote etc.
Does it always work? After years of training myself, it works 75% of the time. There are systems and frameworks I have put into place. I share them in my free Newsletter just in case you are interested to take a look.
Yes, I got caught out this evening, with this post as you read at the beginning. But, after that 45 minutes of wasteful overthinking I have been pounding at my keyboards for almost the same amount of time without letting my brain plague me with doubts. It is getting late, I have an early morning tomorrow, this baby is getting submitted in another 20 minutes or so.
2. The second step is to learn that PERFECT is a myth. It doesn’t exist unless I actually decide and believe something to be so. Perfection is subjective. it is a belief system not a finish line. That takes the steam out of that overthinking brain. It runs out of ammunition to scare you with. The “What ifs” suddenly are fewer and far between.
How to give up on Perfect? Just live with a few imperfections. I write and submit a few pieces on several platforms that may not be perfect or even my best work. But, in the big picture scenario, they are tasks that have been finished, on time. Good enough for me.
3. Accept your overthinking brain. At first glance, that seems counter intuitive right? But hear me out. The neuroscience and behavioural science experts have found that the more we push something down, the more it resurfaces. Human nature, right? What if you acknowledge your overthinking brain and let those thoughts pass through you? Suddenly, they have had an outlet. You have aired them out. But, you have not acted upon them because you have not given yourself the time to do so.
It’s like letting that annoying but loveable friend of yours yack their head off while you keep doing what you have to do.
That’s what I have been doing so far to remain productive with a fair amount of success. Am I there yet? Who knows? Where is there? The goalpost will shift where I decide to put it.
Thank you for being with me so far.
Would love to hear from you if you suspect or know that you are an over thinker. Let me know in the comments if perfectionism plagues you and if you have ways to deal with it.
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