I STILL DON’T ❤️ RED LINES
GRRR’s Computational Linguists Are Cunning Linguists
Who else thinks Grammarly’s Kool-Aid tastes bad?
Grrrammarly and I have a simple relationship. It makes suggestions and I usually blow raspberries.
This is the second of three GRRR stories, so Grrrammarly and I also have a complicated relationship. Life is rarely simple.
Merriam-Webster defines cunning as:
1: dexterous or crafty in the use of special resources (such as skill or knowledge) or in attaining an end
2: characterized by wiliness and trickery
Grammarly’s ability to annoy transcends “dexterous or crafty” to fiendish. A twisted part of my brain enjoys the “wiliness and trickery” of its suggestions, but mental health may kick in any time.
To recap
You’re no doubt aware our dismissals of “helpful” suggestions get back to Corporate. According to Grammarly’s blog:
AI systems also need feedback from humans. When lots of users hit “ignore” on a particular suggestion … Grammarly’s computational linguists and researchers make adjustments to the algorithms behind that suggestion to make it more accurate and helpful. *bolding mine*
Computational linguists lie in the higher ground
What are these people? Are they The Man, or are they mere minions? Obviously, their job description includes demonstrated ability at computing what will piss me off.
OK, to be fair, sometimes GRRR makes me laugh before I relapse to irritation. I was howling when, having found one clearly unacceptable IS in a sentence, Grrrammarly flagged the other as questionable. Both suggestions are screenshotted below.
Have y’all been looking for higher ground to lie in? I always run for or to it.
First, Grammarly suggested correcting “is” to “in” in the sentence “telling the truth qualifies as selfish and lying is the higher ground.” Then it counseled that correcting the second IS — in the middle of the word SELFISH — sounds confident. What unkind, tone-deaf advice.
I’m resisting all such advice until GRRR explains how SELFINH will make me less confidently SELFISH, as screenshotted above.
The rudimentary AI has a rudimentary funnybone
Following GRRR’s suggestions regarding verb forms, plurals, and the addition of articles such as “a” or “the” usually would change my meaning, at best, or result in nonsense like the oddity below.
I’ve said “I gotta” and “you gotta” while speaking informally. Have you been telling Grrrammarly that “a gotta” and “the gotta” have gotta be the way to go?
AI, please meet our old friend context
Personally, I start learning new words from context, then consult a reputable authority. GRRR clearly don’t understand no stinkin’ context. And we’re all equally authorized to inform Grrrammarly’s AI, yes?
The Challenge of the Serial Seven sounds like a Western movie, but what is “a genitive case”? Herpes? No, but equally inapplicable. I learned from context when it popped up again to think of it as possessiveness.
What’s the turnover rate for computational linguists? If it’s low, they’re clueless minions. If high, maybe they’re real editors like me and my peeps.
Are hackers fond of Grammarly?
Perhaps Grrrammarly participates in a poorly supervised work-release program for hackers. I can easily envision GRRR’s suggestions flowing from a mischievous, bored hacker who watches old Westerns, hates commas, and loves “articles.”
Grammarly’s suggestions resemble a fact-finding mission. If I enjoyed hypertension and felt capable of explaining humor to the AI, I’d be happy to help. If they paid me.
¹ In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida by Iron Butterfly. Enjoy GRRR’s new context-free theme song! I’m assigning it as required listening to keep those obnoxious computational linguists busy for 17 minutes of no red lines in my stories. C’mon, get up & dance around your tiny cubicles or small apartment, guys.
This is No2 of 3 Grammarly stories. The others are⤵︎