Summary

The article emphasizes that comparing oneself to others is detrimental to personal joy and self-worth.

Abstract

The article "Comparison Is The Thief Of Joy" argues that making comparisons, whether upward or downward, can lead to feelings of inadequacy and is ultimately unproductive. It suggests that truly confident individuals do not engage in comparisons because they are secure in their own worth. The author, Colin, shares personal insights about how living in Los Angeles, where many people drive luxury cars, made him feel inferior about his own car, a Mazda 3. The article highlights that comparing oneself to those perceived as more successful can lead to a sense of shame or a relentless drive that may result in unhappiness, as seen in the case of Michael Jordan, who struggled with retirement and the loss of his competitive edge. Conversely, comparing oneself to those perceived as less successful might offer a temporary ego boost but ultimately sells oneself short. The article concludes that confidence comes from within and that comparisons are a meaningless exercise that robs individuals of their joy.

Opin

Comparison Is The Thief Of Joy

Truly confident people don’t compare

The worse pain in the world is feeling worthless, and comparisons can often make you feel that way.

I’m proud of my Mazda 3. I love that it’s a stick shift, it’s affordable and does the job. And for someone who’s not a car fan, there’s nothing to complain about.

But the thing is, I live in LA. Everyone around me drives Mercedes Benz or Audi or Porches, and it makes me feel as though my car isn’t as good, and I, as a person isn’t as good.

Comparing up makes you feel small

Comparing yourself to people ‘above’ you will either make you feel ashamed or motivated. Neither one is good, even the latter.

If your goal is to be better than other people, then you’ll always be miserable.

For one, there’s always someone with more than you, bank on it. For two, being at the top is a burden. Take Michael Jordan, one of the greatest athletes ever, who needed to be the best at all times, the competitive mindset helped his career but hurt his life.

Writer Wright Thompson spent some time with Jordan to prepare for his book The Cost of These Dreams. And he detailed how unhappy the basketball legend has become now that he’s retired and in his fifties. Thompson made an interesting point saying that Jordan lived for competition and he enjoyed beating up on people. But at this point, all he could do is sit back and watch while up-and-coming players threat to dethrone him — it eats away at him. Not just him, but many top athletes who’re now in their sixties.

My point is, even if you’re great at what you do, there will come a day when you fall off, and when you do, your self-esteem will go down with it.

Comparing down makes you feel like you’re selling yourself short

We make comparisons to feel better about ourselves.

I used to stick around people who made me feel superior, but it didn’t take long before I realized I was wasting my time there. I felt safe and all but I belonged in a bigger pond.

You and I both know that it’s hard to leave our comfort zone sometimes because our egos don’t like getting hurt.

But my response to that is, don’t compare in the first place.

Truly confident people don’t compare

Jealously only occurs when you lack confidence.

You can’t stand someone else’s success because it’s threatening to your self-worth.

A confident person doesn’t get bothered by another person’s success because they know they’re great regardless of what others do. It’s a lesson I wish I learned earlier. I used to cringe when I saw someone younger and more successful than myself. It made me look at myself in the mirror with disgust.

Now I would tell myself, Colin, do you, go at your own pace and follow your own path, you’re no better or worse than anyone else in this world.

That’s probably one of the most important lessons we can ever learn; it doesn’t matter who we are or what we do, deep down, we’re the same ordinary flawed human beings who’re just trying to survive.

Comparisons give us context about where we stand in this world. On the other hand, it can be a constant reminder of ‘I’m not good enough.’

It’s meaningless. And it robs us of our joy.