Why I Choose to Be a Part of Community Building

In response to Coffee Challenge; why I am pro shout out movement

A person who feels appreciated will always do more than what is expected— Anonymous

Mr. Parashar is a senior citizen and my neighbour. An octogenarian who has lived his life, does not have a pet and cannot understand the hoopla around them. He is unable to fathom why a street cat or a dog should be given a preference the way, we, in our neighbourhood give. And yet he actively takes part in Sunday Stray Dog Feeding drives, makes sure Browny, our friendly neighbourhood Retriever, is always well-fed, fills up the bird feeders we hang from the trees during winter (for the migratory variety) and actively participates when the Stray Rescue Team goes for dog/cat rescue missions.

When asked why he takes interest in something he doesn’t believe/enjoy, he tells me, this is the precise reason he decides to participate in these drives.

Because he wants to understand something he never understood.

And this is a reason why I decided to join Coffee Times and its Movement to create a Community. I wanted to observe and understand the process of community building a bit more from close.

Now, why do I say what I say? Allow me to explain —

Back where I grew up, we not only live with our family but also with our extended family. I opened my eyes to some twenty-odd figurines smiling at me with rounded eyes. Being surrounded by human interference all the time, as a child growing up I craved for my lone moments. A dream nourished in my childhood, became a reality when I was diagnosed with an Autoimmune Disorder that rendered me at home, even worse, in bed, tied to my flare days (when inflammation strikes)and much-awaited loner time.

When one half of me started enjoying this space to the hilt, the other half craved a communication.

Not that there was any dearth of it, but not the way I wanted to have it. As loving and caring were people around me, nobody understood why a simple daily ritual made me sick or just climbing up my ten stairs made me breathless — as I did not look that sick (anybody with an autoimmune condition will relate to this).

I craved a community which will communicate with me vis-a-vis the state I was.

My search in that direction finally led me to a Facebook Support Group dedicated to the Autoimmune Condition I suffer from, which came to me like a rising sun. So many queries, doubts, my failure to get to my original routine, was better understood, as I started interacting with the fellow members.

The process of this community interaction gave me avenues to re-think my life and that is how Writing happened.

I am a confirmed introverted loner, happy in my space, breathing my freedom. But there is also a part of me which craves deep conversations, being around people who will understand my silence, accept me sans judgment. The absence of which actually makes me curl up in my cocoon, away from the world, like an ostrich burying her head in the sand, and enter a world of ‘I -don’t-do-people-ing’. To add some salt to that fissure, my years of dealing with my conditions along with some serious outdoor and socialization restrictions that came with it, somewhat left me people-averse.

So, when I joined this platform three months back, this idea of clapping, following, reading for moolah made me wonder, whether I should continue here at all. It was all so Anti-Me. But I’m not a quitter, and the classes I attended as a student of Business Administration made me learn, how important it is to ‘People’, to develop relationships, which is essential for moving forward in job and life.

And this is where publications like Coffee Times and its effort in community building comes forth.

But the reason that prompted me to write this piece is an article by CT editor and a popular blogger Vidya Sury, Collecting Smiles why-should-i-add-a-shoutout-to-another-writer-whats-in-it-for-me ,where she brings forward the reluctance of many writers to add a shout-out to a fellow writer (a mandatory clause for their publication).

Let me tell you (who refuses to tag a shoutout) I hear you. I am as un-social, people un-pleasing, living-by-myself individual as you probably are and people-ing doesn’t come naturally to me. But when we decide to inhabit a public space, there are rules we follow.

When we all crave those appreciations, understanding and love (read claps, highlights and comments) it is imperative that we give it back in the same coin. Otherwise, we would be happy filling our personal diary with our thoughts and emotions, never to be published.

We have to remember there is no free lunch in this life.

As I ready myself to enter this world of Writing, which I hope is here to stay, I prepare myself to come out of my comfort zone, walk that extra mile, try and imbibe qualities I so lack from my fellow writers.

Writing long forms is not easy for someone like me, with the ensuing winter and its tantrums ( brain fog, severe mood swings, stiff joints). But this is a good step I have taken towards that goal to reach out to my community in the most honest way I could.

Learning to be inclusive, engaging with fellow writers does not involve compromising your beliefs or ideologies, I have realised. It is about taking a step towards infusing positivity and creating a community worth living in.

I know now, stepping out of my comfort zone is not about losing myself or accepting failure. It is about embracing Growth.

So, my friends what say, Wanna give it a try?

P.S. — I wrote this article a day before this challenge was announced and submitted to CT, when Winston Vidya Sury, Collecting Smiles was gracious enough to tell me to wait, till they announce the challenge. A beautiful way of building community, to say the least.

Here’s tagging my wonderful friends from this platform, whom I read to improve/enjoy and find them sharing their words of encouragement and appreciation when I need one (not in any order):

A.H. Mehr Sujona Chatterjee Hamsalekha Somsubhra Banerjee Priyanka Srivastava Gurpreet Dhariwal Pierre Trudel Denise Darby Carolyn Hastings Filza Chaudhry Dr. Fatima Imam Neera Handa Dr Suma Narayan Poetic Therapy Bwalya Chanda Joe Merkle Margie Willis Joseph Lieungh Purbita Chakraborty Gaurav Jain Patrick M. Ohana Anthi Psomiadou William J Spirdione Franco Amati David Rudder Jenine Bsharah Baines Penelope Mayfield Pierce McIntyre VOICES OF THE LOST Rose Lee Kira Dawn Roselyn Violet Trista Signe Ainsworth.

Thank you Coffee Times editors Winston Vidya Sury, Collecting Smiles Dr. Preeti Singh Yana Bostongirl Drashti Shroff Marissa W Sharing Randomly for your constant effort towards creating this inclusive community. Happy to be a part of this movement.

Thank you so much wonderful Ravyne Hawke not only for accepting these shout-out articles for CT, but also for being who you are.

Please find the article by Winston below which gives the details, in case you wanted to be a part of it. It would be lovely if you give it a read:

Thanking everyone who decides to take note.