Communication Is Not What You Might Think

Misunderstandings Are Inevitable

When I was in college studying psychology, I learned a lot about how to communicate with people. There is a difference between talking with someone and communicating with someone. While conversing with someone, it’s critical to remember they may not be correctly interpreting the meaning of what you are saying. You are sending a message with specific intent. They hear your words but may interpret them wrong. Communication is much more complex than you may think. Sometimes you may unintentionally hurt someone’s feelings. It’s inevitable that somewhere along the line this will happen. In reality, talking with someone involves more than one conversation. First, there is what you mean to say. You are stringing words together in a message you intend to send and, second, there is the message the listener thinks you are sending. There is also the part of the conversation that gets lost along the way. This is an image of the psychology model of communication.

Noise is whatever is taking place around you that interferes with the sending and receiving of the message. It can be the T.V., radio, or any other background noise. The presence of people or animals in the house. Working on something while talking, or having something else on your mind, is also noise. This image is a simplified version of the psychology model of communication.

Things occurring around you can sometimes lead to hurt feelings because the intent of what you mean to communicate gets lost in the noise. Suppose you were talking with a friend and they said something you took as hurtful during the conversation. The question is, did they intend for what they said to be hurtful? The easiest way to find out is to ask. Some people intentionally hurt others. However, it is usually not someone’s intention to hurt you with the words they use. Sometimes it’s easy to tell if they said something to be mean, other times it’s difficult. Resolving issues like that means telling the person what they said upset you. Making sure the situation does not get more complicated.

For example: When you said _____, I felt _____.

A second way is to begin your sentences is with “I felt”.

For example, I felt _____ when you said _____.

This type of communication can often smooth out hard feelings if both people are open to it. Being vulnerable enough to put your emotions on display can be scary. It is easier to shut down and think the worst, but that will not help your relationship or resolve the problem. They may be your friend, family, wife, husband, or partner. No matter the situation, communication is vital. It’s worth the extra time to make sure both parties understand each other. It also helps the other person understand you misinterpreted what they said.

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