Comfortable in Your Skin

Certain people appear to be comfortable in their own skin.
They seem to have a “what you see is what you get” authenticity when you meet them.
What don’t these self-aware people do?
Seek love from accomplishments
Many live their lives on the assumption that they will be valued for their accomplishments since they cannot be loved for what they are.
The root of this type of personal insecurity is the belief that we are not lovable, worthy of love, or good enough. This stuff, generated in childhood and reinforced by a performance-oriented and conditional culture, creates havoc in our heads and relationships.
Here are some of the symptoms. Self-aware people don’t
Wear their resume on their sleeve. They don’t use their accomplishments to garner approval from others. Bend over backward to please everyone, no matter how much it costs. Compete with everyone in an endless game of one-upmanship.
Define themselves by other’s opinions
We all run focus groups in our minds where the burning question is, “Of what value am I to others?” The trouble with such an approach is that we provide our own answers.
We have faulty assumptions of what we think others think of us. Even though this data is not objective or scientific, we flagellate ourselves with the results. To diminish the self-inflicted pain, we seek to prove to others how smart, beautiful, valuable, or socially acceptable we are. The symptoms are that we
Name drop to validate our status. Flash our knowledge or intelligence Put others down to lift ourselves up Stay angry to push others away Showcase our possessions to boost our value Look for a guru to tell us what to be and do
Heaven knows we all have our weaknesses.
But in the end, our self does not need fixing or self-improvement. At an intense level, we are loved unconditionally by the Universe.
In the words of Dag Hammarskjöld
“The more faithfully you listen to the voice within you, the better you will hear what sounds outside.”