Coffee Is a Stimulating Drug

Two cups of organic green tea can be powerful too!

A note to all coffee drinkers. I know there are billions of us all over the world, be very careful when you drink your favourite beverage. I don’t mean because it might be scalding hot, it might be, so yes, watch out for that. A scorched tongue is never fun.

I’m talking about the time of day you drink your heaven-sent delicious brew. I realised the hard way that imbibing a second cup of joe or two cups of green tea at four in the afternoon resulted in laying awake for hours past my going to sleep time.

You know those days that start with a disaster, you have them too, right? It’s a shallow modern-day exaggerated perception that the Internet going down is considered a disaster. An actual disaster is millions of people dying as a result of natural disaster or from incompetent mismanagement of keeping people safe from stupidity and the coronavirus by governments.

Back to the topic at hand. That cup of black deliciousness, perhaps with a dash of cream or hazelnut milk, usually drunk in the morning was forgotten. In the blur of desperate activity to get the high-speed broadband connection up and running, I didn’t even miss it.

Two hours were all I had to be ready in time for my three hour Saturday shift. The ghostlike pale yellowy white of the all is in good working order light refused to replace the deceptive cheerful grass green wifi symbol and the second green light block taunting me with the implied message of you are disconnected.

Disconnected I may have been yet the opportunities for the day fanned out before my hopeful eyes. As fast as a ferret up a trouser leg, I emailed (using my phone’s mobile data) my team leader and shift organiser. Texted my son because he is the keeper of all accounts and passwords (and, at the moment, payment, bless him) for internetty and techy doodahs.

In the meantime, I ate breakfast while reading a paperback book. Then I got washed and dressed. When I checked my email an hour later there was no reply. At first, I thought well they don’t work the weekends so that’s not unusual. Nevertheless, I checked the sent box. Then the outbox. Darn. Turned off the wifi connection. Resent the email and checked that it went. Success.

My son replied with the information required and an update from his (and my) service provider account that there was a fault in the area and they expected it to be rectified by 16:00.

Okay, definitely no work today! The sun was shining and I had money in the bank waiting to be spent on provisions. Speaking to myself, as I live alone and am wont to do, I suggested we (me, myself, and I) combine exercise — a long walk up the hill to the retail park and food shopping. I don’t think I’m going doolally, do you?

Anyhoo, I was out of the house for the first time in a week by midday. I know I should go out for at least an hour every day but it was so cold and grey and damp. In my backpack, I carried a couple of month’s worth of clinking wine bottles and peanut butter, pickles, and condiment jars.

Fully masked and anti-bacterial gelled up, I visited several shops to forage for interesting foodstuffs. Then I lugged it all down the hill in my trusty backpack and a reusable fabric shopping bag.

I dashed into my living room at 15:30 to find the ill-looking yellow bar of light on steady as a solid wood coffee table. The Decepticon green lights had returned to slumber.

By this time my grey matter was being squeezed by tightening tentacles of withdrawal. My next dash was to the kitchen to brew a cup of what the drug starved squid was craving. All I was capable of was sitting on the sofa, drinking coffee, and watching a film.

I took my coffee and a piece of cake through to the living room and watched I Am Woman, the biopic of Helen Reddy’s life. After the film, I leapt up all guns blazing, dashed to my computer, and typed about 1200 words on Helen Reddy and equality for women.

Feeling tired I went to bed at my usual time of 23:00, read for an hour and turned the light off.

After an hour of story headlines and plans for the next few months racing through my brain, I turned the bedside light back on.

Got up, jotted down all the headlines in my desk diary. Then fetched my laptop and waited in the dark hallway for an episode of The Expanse to download before I took myself back to bed to watch it. The wifi signal doesn’t reach the back wall of my bedroom.

The Expanse didn't send me to sleep so I got up, made a cup of camomile tea, and read some more of my book.

I turned the light off again at 03:00 and knew nothing till morning light.

The moral of the story, coffee can stimulate and inspire but lack of caffeine can cause withdrawal symptoms. Then drinking coffee at 16:00 is too late in the day to be drinking such powerful dark roasted beans. If you don’t want to be up half the darn night, remember to use it wisely my friends.

As far as two cups of green tea at 16:00 are concerned, they had exactly the same results in keeping me awake on a different occasion. I stick to water these days!

Thanks for reading folks.