Climbing Some Stupid Mountains
Analogies From an Empathetic Heart
On the surface, I act like things don’t bother me and people are always amazed that I somehow seem relatively composed, even during the worst of times. This isn’t really the case.
I’ve probably climbed a lot of colossal and jagged mountains to get to my current state, all the while putting on the visage like those things never happened.
Forget the metaphorical scrapes and bruises, it’s hidden away by really great makeup and a funny sense of humour.
It’s gotten to the point that I momentarily forget about some of the mountains I’ve climbed, and people end up surprised when they catch me making a comment alluding to a specific mountain.
Sometimes, they’re surprised because they also climbed the same earlier mountain or couldn’t imagine climbing that specific mountain themselves. Other times, they have no interest in that mountain and escaped while they still had the chance.
Good for them.
Apparently, I don’t seem like to type to have climbed spooky Mountain A, but more so a type that could have climbed the less coveted Mountain B. I find this amusing because there’s always more to anyone’s story than what we give credit for.
If you are capable of having tragedy, so can I.
I guess that I must be good at accidentally hiding things, even from myself. So there you have it — the magic trick is to forget your traumas and soon enough, people get surprised by your history as if you revealed a major plot twist from a movie, but instead of a movie, it’s your own self.
Childhood Sadness
Childhood was mostly made up of friends crying on my shoulder, but when it was my turn to receive help from them, they didn’t know how to help me.
They had good intentions, don’t get me wrong, but it was like they didn’t seem to know how to…help. I mean, society doesn’t really teach us to optimize our helping skills. They usually become solitary pursuits, full of endless research, pain, rabbit holes, and false bottoms.
Some people take a longer time than others to find ways to help others. Meanwhile, I’m the strangely imaginative one that wanted to pursue elements of help as a profession — namely, the field of mental health.
There’s, of course, a long way to go, but it would be a disservice if I pretended I didn’t already climb 1000 tiny jagged mountains before reaching this stage of my life.
The ongoing journey to find ways to help others has already superseded more normal human things, like pursuing a normal office job, for starters. Everyone I know seems to be okay with working in cubicles.
I dislike it.
Because of 2020, I like the freedom of sitting at home and wandering around while working. I am just as productive — if not more — than that younger version of me that once worked in a cubicle.
I suppose reality can be cruel and ironic sometimes.
Cautious Optimism is New Norm
I’m always cautiously optimistic. Younger me has learned early on that if you’re not a teensy bit cautious, you’ll get off-guard by some random third-party variable, even when you plan all other things in your life carefully.
For example, the entirety of 2020 was the most random plot twist that no one saw coming. That definitely put a dent in a lot of plans, for pretty much everyone.
Time and time again, I would usually find myself in the crosshairs of someone. Time and time again, I am forced to dodge bullets from the vitriol of nefarious others like Neo from The Matrix, because someone wants to play office politics or some other silly shenanigans.
It’s just one more stupid mountain to climb. It’s not as big as the others, but it’s just something that happens to most of us.
Friends have joked that one day, perhaps I should sit down and pen out the various chapters of my life. It’s not a fantastical life and my life hasn’t been that long — but it is one with its ups and downs.
I’m always surprised at people’s reactions to the things that I had gone through, such as super spooky Mountain A. I suppose I could be witty and leave a lasting impression here, but instead, I’m going to leave a quote from Friedrich Nietzsche:
“He who climbs upon the highest mountains laughs at all tragedies, real or imaginary.”
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