Free AI web copilot to create summaries, insights and extended knowledge, download it at here

Abstract

hole ones.</p><h2 id="7f1d">Only Follows One Other Entity</h2><p id="25de">Clearly NOT omnipresent, otherwise thee/thou/thou would be following everyone. Right?!</p><p id="2cf4">So, thee/thou/thine is too busy to attend to all of us. God is overburdened, distracted and not everywhere at once watching carefully as you may have been led to believe in Sunday School or Hebrew School or whatever whackjob school you attended.</p><h2 id="f590">All Knowing? PUHLEEEEEZ!</h2><p id="ad06">Has a website that practically begs people to buy something, for God’s sake. Is that the best marketing ploy GOD has in his bag of tricks?</p><p id="9470">How about a bunch of burning bushes that speak to everyone? That would be unique, and would get some attention, and would trend like a mofo, and EVERYONE has a freaking bush nearby, so the marketing impact would be truly colossal.</p><p id="ad7c">Website. Shmebsite. Who are you kidding God? You don’t know shit.</p><h2 id="bc96">Back to the Gangnam Style Guy and His Dope Numbers</h2> <figure id="c56d"> <div> <div> <img class="ratio" src="http://placehold.it/16x9"> <iframe class="" src="https://cdn.embedly.com/widgets/media.html?src=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fembed%2F9bZkp7q19f0%3Ffeature%3Doembed&display_name=YouTube&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D9bZkp7q19f0&image=https%3A%2F%2Fi.ytimg.com%2Fvi%2F9bZkp7q19f0%2Fhqdefault.jpg&key=d04bfffea46d4aeda930ec88cc64b87c&type=text%2Fhtml&schema=youtube" allow

Options

fullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="480" width="854"> </div> </div> </figure></iframe></div></div></figure><p id="f1ef">6.2M vs 4.4B … That’s not even close.</p><p id="30d3">I realize I may be comparing forbidden fruit to oranges, but God is not even the most popular Twitter influencer. B. Spears, JT, Bill “bot” Gates, Selena Gomez, Kim K. (of course), Lady Gaga, and several others all got God beat.</p><p id="8693">But, Gangnam guy did get his numbers in nine years (check YouTube if you doubt me).</p><p id="7783">God has been around since the beginning of time. Although if you check Twitter he’s only been on there since 2010.</p><p id="0d50">Maybe he’ll play catch up soon.</p><p id="aa75">Yeah right!</p><p id="1b4d">Can I get a witness?</p><h2 id="eafd">And to Complete the Blasphemy</h2><p id="72cf">As this piece was being written, @doctorfunny hit 666 followers. Then was immediately struck dead by a MAGA maniac wielding the jawbone of an ass. You can’t make this stuff up.</p><p id="d443">But, maybe God can.</p><figure id="e716"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*_AaUsa8ERBfsUqfW2dl9iA.png"><figcaption></figcaption></figure><p id="828a">*My deepest apologies to author David Javerbaum who is undoubtedly a fine human being. I hope he appreciates satire. He has the Twitter page <a href="https://twitter.com/TheTweetOfGod">https://twitter.com/TheTweetOfGod</a> and wrote a wonderful book that I’ll probably never get to read, being dead and all, ya know.</p></article></body>

GOD … SERIOUSLY?

Clearing Up Some God* Nonsense

God has only 6.2M Twitter followers. The Gangnam Style YouTube video has 4.4B views.

Twitter, the font of all knowledge and from whence all free speech flows, is where I get all my best info.

**Straight from the source. Must be right.**

While searching for humorous quips from the NRA, and panda fricassee recipes, I stumbled across God’s Twitter page.

It’s revealing AF. Read on, you’ll see.

All Powerful?

Check God’s bio carefully.

6,219,615 followers to be exact.

More people than that shop at the Beijing Kmart, daily!

There are 8 BILLION people on the planet. So God — if that’s what thee/thou/thine wants to call itself — is clearly an acquired taste, and a minority opinion.

Q: Omnipotent? A: I don’t think so. Thee/thou/thine-dude couldn’t even win an election in most countries, except maybe the shithole ones.

Only Follows One Other Entity

Clearly NOT omnipresent, otherwise thee/thou/thou would be following everyone. Right?!

So, thee/thou/thine is too busy to attend to all of us. God is overburdened, distracted and not everywhere at once watching carefully as you may have been led to believe in Sunday School or Hebrew School or whatever whackjob school you attended.

All Knowing? PUHLEEEEEZ!

Has a website that practically begs people to buy something, for God’s sake. Is that the best marketing ploy GOD has in his bag of tricks?

How about a bunch of burning bushes that speak to everyone? That would be unique, and would get some attention, and would trend like a mofo, and EVERYONE has a freaking bush nearby, so the marketing impact would be truly colossal.

Website. Shmebsite. Who are you kidding God? You don’t know shit.

Back to the Gangnam Style Guy and His Dope Numbers

6.2M vs 4.4B … That’s not even close.

I realize I may be comparing forbidden fruit to oranges, but God is not even the most popular Twitter influencer. B. Spears, JT, Bill “bot” Gates, Selena Gomez, Kim K. (of course), Lady Gaga, and several others all got God beat.

But, Gangnam guy did get his numbers in nine years (check YouTube if you doubt me).

God has been around since the beginning of time. Although if you check Twitter he’s only been on there since 2010.

Maybe he’ll play catch up soon.

Yeah right!

Can I get a witness?

And to Complete the Blasphemy

As this piece was being written, @doctorfunny hit 666 followers. Then was immediately struck dead by a MAGA maniac wielding the jawbone of an ass. You can’t make this stuff up.

But, maybe God can.

*My deepest apologies to author David Javerbaum who is undoubtedly a fine human being. I hope he appreciates satire. He has the Twitter page https://twitter.com/TheTweetOfGod and wrote a wonderful book that I’ll probably never get to read, being dead and all, ya know.