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Abstract

lse. When the wind of self-respect and self-love finally blew in my sails I became a capital person to be around and to listen to.</p><p id="8442">Now I am brave to be different, courageous to disagree, bold to self-express, and daring to call my-future-self the best person in the world. I can unite the intrinsic (love to myself) and extrinsic (praise and criticism) advantages and become an extraordinary personality, the one that you can drink like a healthy cocktail and never have enough of the precious taste and benefits.</p><p id="004e">People praise me — and I rejoice, friends criticize sometimes — that makes me grateful. I am a leading actress in short movies I direct. I am a skilled author of the compelling books and stories my imagination produces. Everything I write is up to the most intelligent inoffensively critical and humorous way. Ingenious people love me, and slightly shallow minds don’t understand and avoid — and that is just the price for being true — likable and not so much, lovable and not so much.</p><h1 id="e4b4">I achieved a major transformation with the help of two pillars</h1><ul><li>Self-love</li></ul><p id="97c5">It squeezed me into insignificance when I tried to be someone else instead of finding my own way, style, amplua. The only hero I should be obsessed with is ‘me-tomorrow’. When a filial devotion towards ‘future-me’ became stronger than affection towards ‘me-now’, it seemed almost criminal to refuse being guided by this feeling. I prove myself strong-willed, devotedly caring, and supportive when I let this feeling dominate in my personality.</p><ul><li>Positive criticism</li></ul><p id="0a7f">Praise is a high-grade fuel, but a positive, well-intentioned, and wisely worded criticism is an engine that drives my self-improvement process. That kind of criticism leaves me light in my heart and bright in my visions. It strengthens the deep affection I feel and broaden my self-understanding.</p><h2 id="f7fd">These two helped me determine ‘what’ to confront.</h2><ul><li>Procrastination</li></ul><p id="05cc">The battle with procrastination is the development of magic. I stop the baa-baa business of excuses and make an action. Deeds not words are the man’s first and most grandiose invention. Charged with envy to a Tomorrow-Me, I schedule a plan for the day and follow along. I do not postpone for tomorrow what I can accomplish toda

Options

y. And although I draft the critical line for completion myself, I seldom make a change for a later date.</p><ul><li>Negligence</li></ul><p id="b1e2">I knew I needed to write myself in bigger letters in my system of values, so I gave an extension to the term of self-love. Now I know I would never reproach myself for self-negligence. I wrap up myself in care and attention, love and respect. With these feelings in my arsenal, I cannot forget about a healthy morning stroll, beauty routine, nourishing meal, social reviving meetings — I need the energy all these activities add to my life.</p><ul><li>Negative behavior</li></ul><p id="9ac6">One should have a great deal of will to struggle against his harmful habits. Today I correct anything I want to better in myself in sips, one by one, making sure the habit I got rid of would not come back. I calculate right and substitute the bad by the good if possible. This way the transformation goes smoothly and much easier. I used to drink way too much coffee. I get a decaf one every other time. I dislike going to the gym, but like dancing. I subscribed to a regular active dance class and enjoy my way to a slimmer me. I tended to talk to myself in a disrespectful key, I started by adding ‘love’ or ‘honey’ to whatever I was saying. It sounds comical, but I consider the ability to be funny, to humor myself in a well-intentioned way, a huge step towards the art of self-improving.</p><h1 id="6767">How I see self-competition</h1><p id="df02">Imagine fighting in a war for a foreign government — you end up on a winning side, the country is rejoicing, dividing treasures, lands, and you… you go home with empty hands in ill-fitted uniform and no one cares about your heroic deeds in your homeland. And why would they? You didn’t fight for theirs (you got it — YOURS) freedom.</p><p id="d097">The noble war against your rivals (negative behavior, harmful habits, pessimistic thinking, procrastination, etc.) is never-ending and always self-satisfactory. You win one battle and right away plan another strategic military attack on your own chosen enemies, transforming them into your comrades on a way to a better-future-you. Every victory is adding more confidence and vitality, indolent grace and ease, charm and charisma, and with every year you look far more experienced and at the same time far more youthfully alive.</p></article></body>

PERSONAL ESSAY

Choosing Idols From a Famous Hollywood Crowd Is a Pointless Race

This false competition like an ill-made overcoat made me look ill-fitted for life

Self-competition is a gambit in a self-development game.

There was a time when I had the habit of sticking pins into my dignity, and this venerable instrument of my nature was suffering immensely. I accused myself of not being like some other beautiful and successful actress (who AGAIN got a part in a movie I was auditioned for) — and that competition I was constantly in with others heated me so it almost scorched.

I was wrongly choosing idols from a famous Hollywood crowd. That was a definite failure and a pointless race that painfully oppressed my heart. People liked my description by others better than they liked me because no one could hear my own conversation. Those were only words expected, gestures already made by someone else, and expressions approved by the mirror.

I was always out of spirits, and my life was punctuated by little and big disappointments. I lived in a constant state of competition-stupidity with others, and the only salvation I could see was to recharge my self-esteem and to redirect my competitive spirit on myself.

I had a habit of talking to myself in a mocking and resentful key. And I made a goal to change it during the week I spent alone in a Turkish all-inclusive hotel by the sea. This trip, that I forced myself to arrange, was a transformation therapy that I prescribed.

Like a policeman arresting the flow of traffic, I held my hand to keep my reproaches silent. My voice sounded and sounded in my ears with the insistence of mechanical noise when I went on and on in continuous expressions of love and beauty, serenity and benevolence, exquisiteness, and originality of my personality. Being almost oracular in painting symbolical pictures of TRUE success through TRUE completion, I made the atmosphere palpitate.

I instilled in myself envy to my better-future-self, substituting the raving and displeasing desire to be somebody else. When the wind of self-respect and self-love finally blew in my sails I became a capital person to be around and to listen to.

Now I am brave to be different, courageous to disagree, bold to self-express, and daring to call my-future-self the best person in the world. I can unite the intrinsic (love to myself) and extrinsic (praise and criticism) advantages and become an extraordinary personality, the one that you can drink like a healthy cocktail and never have enough of the precious taste and benefits.

People praise me — and I rejoice, friends criticize sometimes — that makes me grateful. I am a leading actress in short movies I direct. I am a skilled author of the compelling books and stories my imagination produces. Everything I write is up to the most intelligent inoffensively critical and humorous way. Ingenious people love me, and slightly shallow minds don’t understand and avoid — and that is just the price for being true — likable and not so much, lovable and not so much.

I achieved a major transformation with the help of two pillars

Self-love

It squeezed me into insignificance when I tried to be someone else instead of finding my own way, style, amplua. The only hero I should be obsessed with is ‘me-tomorrow’. When a filial devotion towards ‘future-me’ became stronger than affection towards ‘me-now’, it seemed almost criminal to refuse being guided by this feeling. I prove myself strong-willed, devotedly caring, and supportive when I let this feeling dominate in my personality.

Positive criticism

Praise is a high-grade fuel, but a positive, well-intentioned, and wisely worded criticism is an engine that drives my self-improvement process. That kind of criticism leaves me light in my heart and bright in my visions. It strengthens the deep affection I feel and broaden my self-understanding.

These two helped me determine ‘what’ to confront.

Procrastination

The battle with procrastination is the development of magic. I stop the baa-baa business of excuses and make an action. Deeds not words are the man’s first and most grandiose invention. Charged with envy to a Tomorrow-Me, I schedule a plan for the day and follow along. I do not postpone for tomorrow what I can accomplish today. And although I draft the critical line for completion myself, I seldom make a change for a later date.

Negligence

I knew I needed to write myself in bigger letters in my system of values, so I gave an extension to the term of self-love. Now I know I would never reproach myself for self-negligence. I wrap up myself in care and attention, love and respect. With these feelings in my arsenal, I cannot forget about a healthy morning stroll, beauty routine, nourishing meal, social reviving meetings — I need the energy all these activities add to my life.

Negative behavior

One should have a great deal of will to struggle against his harmful habits. Today I correct anything I want to better in myself in sips, one by one, making sure the habit I got rid of would not come back. I calculate right and substitute the bad by the good if possible. This way the transformation goes smoothly and much easier. I used to drink way too much coffee. I get a decaf one every other time. I dislike going to the gym, but like dancing. I subscribed to a regular active dance class and enjoy my way to a slimmer me. I tended to talk to myself in a disrespectful key, I started by adding ‘love’ or ‘honey’ to whatever I was saying. It sounds comical, but I consider the ability to be funny, to humor myself in a well-intentioned way, a huge step towards the art of self-improving.

How I see self-competition

Imagine fighting in a war for a foreign government — you end up on a winning side, the country is rejoicing, dividing treasures, lands, and you… you go home with empty hands in ill-fitted uniform and no one cares about your heroic deeds in your homeland. And why would they? You didn’t fight for theirs (you got it — YOURS) freedom.

The noble war against your rivals (negative behavior, harmful habits, pessimistic thinking, procrastination, etc.) is never-ending and always self-satisfactory. You win one battle and right away plan another strategic military attack on your own chosen enemies, transforming them into your comrades on a way to a better-future-you. Every victory is adding more confidence and vitality, indolent grace and ease, charm and charisma, and with every year you look far more experienced and at the same time far more youthfully alive.