China - Not the Only Country Floating Weird Shit Over The United States
Look out below!
By now you may have heard that a Chinese Spy Balloon drifted lazily over the US, and was then popped, by some kid with a missile.
If you haven’t heard this, you’re either dead or buried head first in the sand, or worse.
It’s all been great fun.
But now, other countries want in on the party.
These are the folks who’ll shortly be floating some shit over the States, and the shit they’ll be floating.
The Shithole Countries
That’s places like … Canada
They’ll be the first to jump into the fray since we enjoy such a close relationship with the polite Poutine-pounders and Maple Leaf-lovers to the north of us.
Rumor has it they’re planning to send PM-hunk Justin Trudeau into the stratosphere.
He’s probably not gonna last very long up there though.
Reportedly, women all over the US, and about 10% of dudes, are planning a rapid “take down” of the pulchritudinous “Grade-A Prime” Minister.
Finders keepers, losers weepers. And, careful with his “intake valve.”
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The UK
While they still have the resources to do so …
They’ll be floating a trial balloon, Princess Beatrice of York (pictured above). She’s one of the lesser-known members of the Royals. If her space flight goes well, they’ll send most of the rest.
Prince Andrew, Duke of York, will, of course, have to stay behind. He’s not allowed within 6,000 nautical miles of a grade school. And, there are several of those on America’s eastern seaboard.
Side note:
Why is it that every time I type the word “Royals”, or consider the “Royal Family”, or see any of their pictures, my mind is instantly consumed with the phrase “useful as tits on a boar hog”? or perhaps “useful as a ball-gag on George Santos”?
But, in more charitable moments I ponder, perhaps the “Royals” are like the image below. Blue, as in, sad. Bloated, as in, overstuffed with stuff that has “blown their way”. Silly, as in, created by a clown for the amusement of others.
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Mexico
Mañana.
They’re busy trying to figure out how to get their “gift” over the impenetrable wall that they built and paid for.
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The Real Shithole Countries …
All the places Papa Papaya loves so much.
For now, the Real Shithole Countries of the World (soon to be a Fox TV series) are serially hosting this guy.
When they’re done with Donald “The Floater” Trump, they’ll attempt to flush him back to us.
Whether he’ll float or sink is an open issue. And, a truly disgusting mental image.
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Vatican City
Not clear what they’ll send, but it’ll be a doozy.
Brief interlude: Q: How do you make a nun pregnant? A: Dress her up as an altar boy.
From the people who know the definitions of “crime” and “sin” and know how to tell the difference.
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