Chill, New Dads. It’s going to be fine
For all the new dads and the soon-to-be new dads.
Chill.
Really… stop panicking.
A couple of years ago, I joined a few Facebook groups dedicated to new fathers. While some groups were better than others, all had a culture of support and a willingness to give good advice.
Another thing all of those groups had in common was that nearly every day there was a new member all in a tizzy about becoming a dad for the first time. I was no different.
I am now well into my third year of being a parent. I still participate in those groups, and every now and then I take a turn at talking a dad-to-be out of their panic mode.
It often goes like this:
Hi. I’m here to tell you that it’s going to be okay.
It’s amazing how much common sense will guide you. Instinct, too. And going with your gut.
For most of you, you’ll be starting out in a hospital and there are going to be loads of people there to show you the basics and answer questions. There will be health checks a’plenty. By the end of the first day, there will be little in the way of surprises.
Should there be problems, there are also loads of people on hand to help out and walk you through that.
For the most part, though, don’t go in expecting problems. Go in expecting that the “instant love” for your child that you hear so much about isn’t bullshit, but pretty damn real. You’re going to love picking up and holding that kid. You’re going to love caring for it.
You’ll get over your fears pretty quickly.
You are never going to be fully prepared, but you’ll be as prepared as you can be and there are resources available to help fill in the gaps. Take advantage of any and every resource the hospital or other birthing place has to offer. Welcome the help of friends and family.
When you get the child home, you’re going to worry about a lot of stuff. Sleeping. Feeding. Changing. Is the baby pooping too much or not enough? Is it getting enough nutrients? Enough sleep or too much? Should the child be levitating the cat like that?
All normal concerns.
Use common sense. Talk to other parents you know. Contact your doctor if you think you should, but don’t panic. You’ll probably find that everything is normal — just no one has ever really thought to mention it before.
Look… all I’m trying to say to you new dads and dads-to-be is… come on down from the ledge. It’s going to be fine.
You’re going to love this.
Cheers!
John Teehan is a professional writer and layout artist from Rhode Island, USA. He specializes in tech, parenting, pop culture, reviews, and tabletop gaming. Visit www.wordsbyjohn.net for more information or follow him on Twitter at @wordsbyjohn2