avatarEmmalina Alessandrya

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ou know. Think I’ll pass.”</p><p id="13e0">“At the beach house? I’m going.”</p><p id="7377">“Oh, you are? Hmm….” She mulled it over. “In that case, I think I’m going to.”</p><p id="f039">OMG OMG OMG. What? Was she going because I was going? I got all pumped up. It was going to happen. The stage was set, and the stars were aligned.</p><p id="f854">I was about to get my first kiss.</p><p id="bc44">We made it to the island without a hitch. It was just 40 minutes away from town by ferry. Not much to go wrong there. After dinner, we left everyone and walked the mile-long sea breaker together, laughing and sharing stories about school and life, favourite candies and her love for, <i>uh</i>, stuff— this was a long time ago. I have no idea what she was into back then.</p><p id="4a1b">The Milky Way’s disk ripped across the sky above while waves glowed green with bioluminescence as they crashed softly against the sea breaker’s rocks — a perfect evening by any possible standard. Impossible to fail.</p><p id="de8f">We sat side by side at the end of the breaker under the port lighthouse as if peering into the end of the world. Gosh, she looked beautiful.</p><h1 id="308c">I placed my arm on her shoulders</h1><p id="1e0f">My heart raced as if about to explode, my face burned like wildfire, sweat formed on my forehead, and my nerves plotted to kill me with every shuddering breath when the conversation reached a natural break.</p><p id="54ba">This was the moment I had been waiting for.</p><p id="5204">You can do this<i>, </i>I told myself. I gathered my wits and scooched closer; her eyes were fixed on the seas ahead. I breathed deeply, ignored the pounding heart in my throat, and called her. She turned to face me. This was it.</p><p id="85c6">I leaned in.</p><h1 id="d7ee">My phone rang</h1><p id="b79f">I should have ignored it or tossed it into the ocean. But I answered the damned thing. It was my father asking where I was, though I don’t know why; he seldom bothered. So I told him I was with a girl, and because I was a little proud of being with a girl, I felt like sharing the news. So I asked her to say “hi” to my dad.</p><p id="b169">To. My. Dad.</p><p id="2cd4">Before our first kiss. What a dumbass. To her credit, she did.</p><p id="fdcb">Dad was immensely pleased. “That’s ma boy,” he said before I hung up.</p><p id="8324">I tucked the phone away. Her eyes were back on the horizon. I opened my mouth to call her again as my heart moved up from my throat into my brain and pounded it to mush.</p><p id="0743">And the air around us had somehow deflated. After a long moment, she remained silent, eyes poised

Options

on the horizon. Why wasn’t she looking at me? Had I embarrassed her with my dad’s phone call? Oh god. I did. Shit.</p><p id="af72">No. You can still salvage this. Get a grip, man.</p><p id="a7f3">You can do this. Just say something, you fool!</p><p id="2964">And I did say something. I said, “I could really use a sneakers bar.”</p><p id="a2e7">My mind shot into an intermittent coma. I had blown it completely. She didn’t even react. I mean, what can you possibly say to that?</p><p id="0372">Short of breath, dizzy, and feeling stupid, my arm fell off her shoulders. And things got increasingly awkward after that.</p><p id="9750">Today, I understand she was probably also nervous; it was her first time, too. Except I didn’t know that back then; I was kind of an idiot — hey, I was 16, it’s expected.</p><p id="bd2d">I have no idea why I said that. We talked briefly about our favourite chocolate bars, and I did enjoy sneakers. After that night, however, I may have become more of a Mars guy.</p><p id="7257">It’s been 19 years since, and I still think about it from time to time.</p><p id="972c">It doesn’t embarrass me anymore, hence all this oversharing. It became a reminder of how, in the moment of things, one can make terrible decisions or freeze due to unfounded fears and watch helplessly as perfect opportunities get washed away.</p><h1 id="73cd">And that’s a perfect example of what life is all about</h1><p id="7afa">Failures define you just as much as successes. Scratch that. Failures and how you deal with them are what define you. As a human being, you should be constantly learning from your mistakes and growing with them. Not having them reflect who you are. That’s rubbish.</p><p id="846e">You’ll never succeed if you don’t take risks. Risks mean failure. But after failing, you make a pact with yourself — a commitment to do better next time. That’s how you evolve. That’s how you get what you need.</p><p id="22e3">Today, I have a loving wife and two amazing boys whom I love more than life itself. That’s what success looks like.</p><p id="8b66">So I don’t regret all the embarrassment I felt that night or in other missed opportunities since. If that had been my first kiss, would I still have ended up where I am today? It’s hard to tell. But I’d screw up a million first kisses again to have the life I have now.</p><p id="dcf0">Because sometimes, you really do have to eat those damned sneakers bars.</p><p id="2ceb"><i>Join me at <a href="https://subscribepage.io/mutecatmanolo"><b>Mute Cat Manolo</b></a>, a <b>free</b> newsletter with insights on how to improve your writing.</i></p></article></body>

Child rapist Cho Doo Soon

He who raped and brutalized an 8-year-old is now released back to the same neighborhood as the victim.

Cho Doo Soon, Photo by AsiaOne

Back in December 2008, an 8-year-old child, fictiously known as Na Young (to protect her actual identity) was walking to school as she had always done. On December 11th, she bumped into a 57-year-old man who would forever scarred her life.

He dragged her by force to a nearby church’s toilet and forced his genitalia into her mouth. When she struggled and refused, he punched her several times in her face and even strangled her until she lost consciousness. Then he proceeded to rape the 8-year-old in her private areas and her ear. Afraid of leaving his DNA behind, he assaulted her again with a toilet plunger to somehow ‘remove’ his DNA to a point that supposedly, her insides were hanging outside through her private area. He then raped her once again.

Before he fled the scene, he left the cold water running in the bathroom with the bleeding, unconscious child on the floor. Perhaps, it was another futile attempt to wash away evidence. Note that December in Korea is cold and that the bathroom stall was not heated. Some argued that this case was not just rape but also an attempt to murder. After all, he did leave her to die.

Against all odds, the brave girl miraculously survived and even managed to crawl out of the stall and got help. She went through intensive, emergency surgery for 8 hours. Her lower half was permanently damaged and the injury was categorized as a 3rd-degree disability. Initially, she was paralyzed from her lower half and she had to have a colostomy bag which later she had successful surgery on the artificial anus to replace it. She was left with livelong mentally and physically disabilities.

Cho was arrested two days later when the police found the fingerprints and DNA of Cho. He first claimed that it was not him. When the DNA and blood samples came back, he changed his story to he was so drunk for two days and had no recollection of what happened.

It gets worse for Na Young. On top of going through her traumatizing ordeal, she also had to face the police incompetence. The police made the very ill, Na Young attend the interrogation in the police station. At that time, Na Young was still suffering from post recovery and she still had her colostomy bag. She had to recall and re-testified four times again and again for 40 minutes on a hard, solid chair simply because the recording tape was not even recording.

Keep in mind that it was not long ago from the surgery and she was merely an 8-year-old with her lower half brutalized. Later on, the family sued the police for a bad investigation and won. Some said that a written testimony would have sufficed in cases like these. But for some reason, Na Young had to testify in court and face her rapist. During the court session, she was still recovering where 80% of her organs were still bleeding. She had to wear a pad that soon became smeared.

Little did she know that one simple question was going to directly impact her rapist’s sentence. When the defense lawyer asked, “Do you smell alcohol on him?”. Innocently, she answered yes truthfully. And with that, his sentence from prison for life was reduced to 12 years in prison during the second trial.

For context, Korea has a law known as “Sim Sin Mi Yak” that protects individuals that are mentally impaired or mentally weak from entirely being held responsible for their actions. Meanwhile, the law “Joo Chi Gam Hyung” states that substance abuse impairs the individual’s mental state. These laws helped in Cho’s defense as he was declared mentally impaired because he was drunk at that time and was incapable of distinguishing his action. The enraged Koreans filed two petitions to abolish “Joo Chi Gam Hyung” and “Sim Sin Mi Yak”. But, they were rejected by the Blue House.

These laws have left many victims of rape and violence vulnerable as the perpetrators often use overconsumption of alcohol as their defense to get a lighter sentence. To name a few that had used this defense, a man in Busan had his sentence reduced to a year in prison for raping his lover while drunk. A 26-year-old male had his sentence reduced from 3 years in prison to 4 years of probation for sexually assaulting a college student while again, drunk.

The 12-year sentence of Cho came to an end on December 12th. Before the release, experts believed that he might return to his supporting wife and home that was 2 streets away from Na Young’s home

Protests against Cho’s release, Photo by Yun Dong-Jin/Yonhap on Associated Press (AP)

There has not been an official report that revealed his home location but he was released in Ansan, the very same neighborhood as Na Young. Many of the Koreans were outraged and protested against his lenient sentence. They laid on the ground, threw eggs, and kicked the van that was transporting Cho. Also, Cho had 18 previous criminal accusations and a history of violence. He had stolen, extorted money, rape, and assaulted all prior to this case.

With heat from the public, the Blue House recently passed a bill nicknamed ‘Cho Doo Soon Law’. It banned individuals convicted of sexually assaulting minors from leaving their residence at night and during the hours when students commute back and from. They are also banned from school areas. In addition to the bill, Cho will be on the public sex offender list for five years, wearing an electronic ankle bracelet, and have random checks from the authorities. Still, many find the release very.. uneasy.

The month before Cho’s release, Na Young’s family said that they planned to move away from Ansan. According to KOREA NOW, Na Young and her family has successfully moved away before his release.

Na Young’s father said: Is it our reality that the offender is protected in the name of human rights and the victim has to go into hiding?

Rape
Crime
Law
Injustice
Korea
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