Chasing Happiness Will Make You Sad — Choose This Instead

3 reasons ‘easy pleasures’ make life worse.

You should be suspicious of your desires.

You do what you desire. But then feel sad. Doesn’t this strike you as odd?

You choose to:

• eat junk for a week
• binge-watch Netflix every night
• buy loads of new stuff

But it leaves you a bit dead inside.

We are drawn to comfort and pleasure. Thinking this will make us feel happy. But it doesn’t bring life.

There is something else we should be seeking.

Why chasing happiness makes us sad

Chasing pleasure and comfort is so ingrained.

It’s hard to imagine they won’t make us happy. Check out these 3 reasons why they won’t.

(Then I’ll tell you what to chase instead).

1. The treadmill

Positive psychology has shown boosts in happiness from pleasure activities are only temporary. You need more and more for the same effect. This is the hedonic treadmill.

It’s why if you never eat out, going to a restaurant feels amazing.

But if you already eat out 3 times a week. It becomes the norm. The minimum expected. If you don’t eat out, you’ll feel unhappy. But it doesn’t make you happy. You are trapped.

Welcome to the treadmill.

2. Comforts steal energy

It’s a paradox that we gain energy by spending energy.

Doing exercise or taking on a challenge boosts us. The initial effort takes energy we soon find this produces energy.

The opposite is true. A small treat can be a nice comfort. But too much starts to have a draining effect.

This is why indulgence leaves us feeling depleted.

3. Easy pleasures can damage us

Those easy pleasures we are drawn to all share one thing in common.

Too much damages us. Both our mental and physical health.

• Alcohol
• Watching TV
• Spending
• Social media
• Junk food

After university, I was unemployed for 6 months. The first few months were great. Sleeping in, watching TV, doing whatever I wanted. But my enthusiasm for life dwindled and a mild depression descended.

We have the instinct to seek pleasure and comfort. Like a moth to a lightbulb, we are attracted to what is enjoyable in the moment.

But it won’t make us happy.

We need to chase something else.

Chasing this will make you happy.

We think we don’t like hardship.

But this is a lie.

We can love it when things are hard. On one condition. We need a why.

The purpose is powerful. If we have meaning we can tolerate a lot of discomfort. Purpose trumps easy pleasures as the route to happiness.

I’ve completed both the London & Edinburgh marathon. They were both hell on earth. But do you know what would have been worse? At the start of the race being forced to take a taxi to the finishing line.

More comfortable but far less purposeful.

Becoming a parent is saying hello to meaning and goodbye to an easy life. Every day people decide to let this hardship enter their lives. And many will say it’s the best thing they’ve ever done.

Whilst in Nazi concentration camps Viktor Frankl noticed a difference in survival rates. Those who had a purpose to live for beyond the camps lived longer. Those who lost their why — giving up on a dream or a loved one dying — soon died. This led Frankl to conclude:

Those who have a why to live, can bear with almost any how.

Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning

Find something to live for and happiness will find you. Happiness cannot be pursued directly. It is the side effect of dedicating yourself to a cause greater than yourself.

Where to seek meaning

Look at the different parts of your life. Are you seeking what’s easy and feels good? Or are you taking the harder path to purpose?

Think about your:

• Work
• Side hustles
• Relationships
• Money
• Spare time activities

Whilst you don’t need to have meaning everywhere. You’d be wise to keep your desire for comfort and easy pleasures in check. Seek out projects and activities that are meaningful and help others in some way.

I recently wrote an article detailing all the lessons I’d learned from a successful project I managed. This was extra work. I did it to help others. To find more meaning in what I do. I sent it to everyone I knew in my industry. I got lots of positive feedback from those who found it helpful. it felt amazing.

What would this look like for you? How can you seek a little more meaning and a little less easy comforts?

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