Chapter 6 — Noticing the Good
A serial novel in the form of correspondence among a family while the world as we know it collapses around us. I recommend you start at the Introduction:
https://readmedium.com/climate-for-change-introduction-5331d5ab9313
But you can start anywhere you want.
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Chapter 6:
Email:
Dear Benji,
I wish I were exaggerating. If anything, the English Broadcast Group made it sound worse than I told you. They broadcast a statement from the British prime minister advising all British citizens to leave the U.S.A. as soon as possible. They are concerned about an impending environmental disaster and the inability of our inflexible and underfunded government systems to respond. The EBG announcer today said that all three storms on the Atlantic side had been upgraded to category 5 hurricanes. They each have names: Harold in the Gulf, Imelda off of Florida, and Justine bearing down on D.C. Our own weather website has not classified any of them as hurricanes, let alone Cat 5 hurricanes. I did an Internet search for the word “hurricane,” and I was surprised to find out that the weather website has not used the word for over three years. We have had “bad tropical storms” but no “hurricanes.” That is odd, but not odd if you think about it. If they ban the word “hurricane,” people might not freak out as much about climate change. Instead they might even think that the weather is getting less extreme. I will keep listening to the English Broadcast Group and keep you posted.
We have already started cooking for your visit. Your grandmother is excited to make three kinds of apple pie for your friends. I have harvested some of the carrots for a carrot soup. They have not been sweetened up yet by frost because it has been so warm, but they are still a hundred times better than store-bought carrots. Grandma is thawing a pork roast, too. I hope your friends like slow-cooked pork. But really who doesn’t? No vegetarians, right?
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Dear Grandpa,
My noticing project is a little overwhelming. Mostly I am noticing how people are in denial. I have told many friends about what you said you heard on the EBG. People are not ready to hear it. They interrupt me. They start a different conversation with someone else. They look at me like I am crazy. I start to wonder if I am crazy. To them, everything seems normal. There is even news of a warm wet weather pattern coming from the south to break the drought. They say that is proof that climate change is not that bad. I tell them that it is actually the front part of one of the hurricanes. They ask me where I heard any news about a hurricane. It is like I am talking to a wall.
I have also been noticing the haze from the western fires in the air. People around me are coughing more often. I even saw someone wearing a surgical mask when I was out running yesterday. Myself, I have noticed a heaviness to my own breathing when I am done playing soccer or running. The sunsets are so incredible that people are posting photos up and down social media. I have also noticed more online funding pages for people affected by fires out west. These are not just to help the firefighters but now also for families who have lost everything in a fire.
I have noticed fewer brown faces out and about as I run. I’m not sure about that one, but I could swear that last month our neighborhood was about 25% Latinx, and now I hardly see any brown faces. Daisy and Jorge did not join us in asking Marco’s neighbors what had happened. Daisy texted me that her mother wanted her to not ride her bike around so much, and she needed to stay at home today.
When Jeremy and I went to Marco’s house, there was a different car in the driveway, and the toys were off the yard. We went to see if Marco was home, and a white woman answered the door and said that she didn’t know who Marco was but that the house was theirs now. They had bought it at a police auction the day before, and she was cleaning it up. She said we were welcome to take anything; it would save her having to drag it to the Giveaway Store or get a dumpster. We went in, and all of Marco’s stuff was still in his room, like he had just left for school. It was too much for me. I started crying and had to sit down in the corner. Jeremy just sat next to me until the woman told us to get out. We did grab some of his stuff and his family’s photo albums.
I am getting tired of paying attention Grandpa!
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Dear Benjamin,
I know it is hard when you start to notice the injustice in the world. I encourage you not to give up. Here is how it works: our brains are wired to pay attention to threats. In our early evolution if humans did not give their full attention to a threat, they would likely die. It was “fight or flight” panic time. “Fight or flight” was useful in the moment but not a good long term strategy. We humans have evolved to be great long-term problem solvers, too, but only when we are not in panic mode. I’m guessing that the early humans had occasional threats that would consume their attention, like a bear wandering into camp or something. Panic might have been the appropriate response in that moment. Then after the threat was over, they could recover their ability to think and do some long-term problem solving — like maybe building a fence or getting a dog to scare away the bears. The problem we have now is that for people like us who pay attention, the panic-inducing threat feels like it never stops. There is no opportunity to relax and recover our long term problem-solving thinking. Being in a constant state of “fight or flight” panic is not a useful place to do good in the world.
I’m not saying you should stop noticing. That would be a false solution. To stop noticing is to become numb. Many people use online shows or stress-eating or drugs and alcohol to help them become numb. The trick is to still notice, but to balance out your attention by also noticing the beauty in the world and all of the good that is happening. This is not easy. You have to choose where you put your attention. And if you find yourself occasionally panicking or trying to numb out, don’t worry too much about it. You are in good company. I myself am finding it hard to stay out of panic and numb modes. Just know that by noticing the good in the world, you are not escaping reality. The good that you notice is real just like the bad is also real. You get to notice both.
My own brain was in panic mode more and more this week. The EBG has Hurricane Justine bearing down on the east coast, set to hit Washington D.C. in three days. Hurricane Harold is heading for either Louisiana or Texas, making landfall in three or four days. And Hurricane Imelda looks like it is stalled out in the Caribbean, gathering force for a run at Florida and the Southeast. I have called all of my friends who live anywhere near those places and told them to get out. They all told me that they haven’t received evacuation orders from their local governments yet. I convinced a few people to just get in the car and drive up to Wisconsin. So we might have some visitors by the weekend when you come.
To balance my attention out and notice the good, I have been harvesting sweet corn. I like to eat it raw, right in the field. It is so sweet and good. To me, it tastes like the essence of summer. We have been blanching it and cutting it off the cob to pack into plastic bags for the freezer. We have frozen most just like that, and the rest we are making into creamed corn and packing it into canning jars and using the pressure canner to ensure food safety. It is so good! Speaking of noticing the good, we have some ripe watermelons. Yesterday I went out to check. I didn’t have my knife with me, so I just picked up a watermelon and dropped it on the ground. It popped right open and revealed the perfect crimson center. I grabbed a half-section of the watermelon and started eating it right there in the field. My beard was covered in sticky watermelon juice, but it was so cool and sweet and delicious. Every summer I think that that summer’s watermelon is the best we’ve ever grown. But this year I think it might be true. You and your friends will have to help me judge when you come out.
Goodbye for now. Maybe you can see if there is an indoor track where you can run, so the smoke from the fires coming in from out west doesn’t bother you so much.
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Dear Grandpa,
Thank you for your advice about noticing the good in the world in order to balance out all the attention I put on the news and climate change and ICE. I think one way that I find this balance of attention is to go running. After a mile or so, my brain settles down; I notice my breathing, and I start to feel the surface I am running on. I mostly keep my attention in front of me when I run, but within that area I pick up the sights, smells, and sounds of the city. I would miss all that if I were running on a treadmill or on a track. I am actually starting to think that I might continue to run after the soccer season is over.
Mom has been giving me air quality reports every morning, and she went and bought a supply of respirator masks for Melody and me. The mask gets all sweaty when I run, so I wear it before and after the run. Maybe I will try to find an indoor track to run at tomorrow if it stays this bad. Coach canceled soccer practice this afternoon because of the air quality.
Daisy hasn’t heard anything from her cousin Antonio, and it has her in full-blown panic mode. She and I have been texting because her parents don’t want her out and about. I went by her house today after dinner, and we sat in the back yard and talked. I don’t understand why people would want to target her family. Her parents are both citizens. They both have productive jobs and pay taxes. Daisy speaks better English than I do, but she is afraid just the same. Daisy and I played games of “horse” that went on for hours until it got really dark and the yard lights made shadows on the basketball hoop area. Mom eventually texted me and said she wanted me home “right now.” I felt like she thought that I had done something wrong. I was mad at Mom, but on my way home I thought about how I like how Mom trusts me to be out on my own but also lets me know she is paying attention. I think I was just upset that I had to leave Daisy so abruptly.
Do you have enough places on the farm for everyone to sleep? Should we bring our tents? How many hurricane refugees are coming? Anyone I know? Well. It is getting late. I should hit the hay. I’m looking forward to seeing you and Grandma this weekend.
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Benji,
I like hearing about how running re-centers you. I get a similar kick when I take Rosie out into the woods for a long walk. I wish I remembered to do that more. I guess working in the garden will have to do for now. I am trying to limit my English Broadcast Group time to half an hour in the morning and half an hour after supper. That is still more news than your grandma and I can handle, so after we listen to the news, we have to talk for a while to calm down. I think the hurricanes are bad. It is hard to tell how bad everything is, because the PFL seems to be living on a different planet, a planet where climate change is not real. On the other hand, the English Broadcast Group is in full global catastrophe mode. I hope it is somewhere in the middle. Full catastrophe would be a lot.
I took the tractor in yesterday to be serviced. I also decided to refill both propane tanks and the diesel reserve tanks before the winter. I know it is expensive, but when a big hurricane hits the Gulf Coast again, there could be a spike in fuel prices if some of the refinery capacity goes offline. We are also finding and cutting down more dead trees in order to build up our supply of dry firewood. We can never have too much firewood. Maybe we can fire up the sauna when you come out tomorrow? Have Jorge and Daisy ever taken a real wood-fired sauna? I bet not.
I think we might have as many as ten additional guests coming from hurricane zones, so maybe you should bring your tents and sleeping bags and be ready to leave them behind when you go home. I don’t know what all they are bringing. Also, see if you and your sister can collect some of the clothes that you are not wearing because I think one family has a boy and a girl about your ages.
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Next chapter:
https://readmedium.com/chapter-7-a-run-on-the-library-738e02bbac99
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