POSTMODERNIST SHORT FICTION
Changing a Light Bulb
A one-minute play
Changing a Light Bulb premiered on February 25, 2024, out of competition in the Queens Short Play Festival at The Secret Theatre, NYC. Written by Bear Kosik. Directed by Erika Lupo. Starring Emily Glaser as Kuchinski and Taylor Simon as Olenchak. Special thanks to Cassandra Gutterman-Johns, curator of the festival, for including this play in the schedule.
Changing a Light Bulb
The stage is dark and empty.
KUCHINSKI enters, followed by OLENCHAK, who is using the flashlight on his cellphone to read a small instruction booklet.
KUCHINSKI stops mid-stage just as OLENCHAK turns off the flashlight.
KUCHINSKI Why’d you turn off the flashlight?
OLENCHAK I finished reading the instructions.
KUCHINSKI How is that supposed to help me?
OLENCHAK I can explain to you what to do.
KUCHINSKI I meant how is turning off the flashlight going to help me.
OLENCHAK It won’t.
KUCHINSKI Then why’d you turn it off?
OLENCHAK I finished reading the instructions.
KUCHINSKI Did it occur to you that I might need light to complete this task?
OLENCHAK Of course.
KUCHINSKI But you turned off your flashlight. OLENCHAK Yes.
KUCHINSKI You know why we are here, right?
OLENCHAK Here, here or in existence here?
KUCHINSKI Choose one.
OLENCHAK We’re here so the universe can learn about itself by us doing things.
KUCHINSKI Which explains why we are here, here.
OLENCHAK The light bulb burned out and you need to change it.
KUCHINSKI And the universe is going to learn something about itself from this.
OLENCHAK Of course.
KUCHINSKI Don’t you think the universe will want to see what we’re doing?
OLENCHAK Sure.
KUCHINSKI Then, why’d you turn the flashlight off?
OLENCHAK Because I finished reading the instructions.
KUCHINSKI Knowing I would need light to do this task. OLENCHAK Of course.
KUCHINSKI You’re a putz.
OLENCHAK Don’t you have a cellphone with a flashlight?
KUCHINSKI Yeah.
OLENCHAK So, why does it matter that I turned mine off?
KUCHINSKI Because I don’t have my phone with me.
OLENCHAK I see.
KUCHINSKI Of course you see. You have the flashlight.
END OF PLAY.