Change Your Stress Story — Change Your Life

Studies show we can thrive by increasing one stress hormone and suppressing another

I learned something about myself this year. It was a rough year — it brought a lot of change and uncertainty. I experienced loss, health challenges, increased anxiety, and stress.

We all go through these seasons where it seems more shit is thrown our way than we can catch. I learned that we don’t need to catch all this shit. We can let it fly passed us, hit us at times, and just observe it.

When shit got too high over the past year, I tried to temper it with alcohol. I tried anti-anxiety meds. I didn’t feel right and could see I was heading on a dangerous course if I continued. After others pointed out something was off with me, I committed to altering that course — changing my story.

I took myself down on the meds under the direction of my doctor. I stopped drinking for two months and drastically reduced my alcohol intake afterward.

I increased my activity level, and began a regular yoga practice. I sought out a therapist, and focused on better nutrition. I studied cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT).

I feel great. I’m proof that we can change our story with little time and effort. The changes don’t need to be drastic or all at once, but take steps in that direction and consistently show up.

Changing my perception and behavior was the key to success. Imagine your best self, and begin acting as that best-self person would. Be authentic to yourself and forget about trying to please everyone.

It’s impossible. Most will like and accept who you genuinely are; those who don’t — forget about them. Stress can be a powerful motivator if appropriately managed and can even help us thrive.

Dr. Alia Crum is a Psychologist who’s expertise is in mindsets and perceptions. Crum and her team in one study asked participants to undertake a mock job interview.

To increase stress levels they gave the participants negative feedback along the way. They said things like: You’ve got poor eye-contact, and your posture shows a lack of confidence.

Before the mock interview, each participant watched a short video about stress. They weren’t told that there were two different videos. One video portrayed stress as a debilitating force that could hinder our happiness, health and work-performance.

The other video said the opposite: It showed that stress could have the opposite effect — improving job performance, enhancing well-being, and helping you grow as a person. Both videos had truth to them.

Each video was designed to foster a specific perception regarding stress. After the interviews, the researchers analyzed the participant’s saliva samples. They were looking for two hormones.

Cortisol is a hormone that suppresses digestion, reproduction and growth. The other hormone, DHEA, helps your brain grow stronger from stressful experiences. Stress produces both. It’s the ratios that make the difference.

When we produce more cortisol, it’s more likely that stress will make us sick. We’re more likely to thrive in stressful situations when we produce more DHEA, and grow as a result.

Can you guess which videos triggered which hormone response? Whether our beliefs make us ill or thrive, we’re often correct. It’s not just about telling ourselves everything is fine when it’s not.

It’s about shifting our perspective on the impact of stress. I always thought of stress as bad, but now I know it can help me thrive. No different than the stress of vigorous exercise which makes us healthier, more resilient, and in a better mood.

Without stress in our lives, we’d stagnate. Are you going away to college, starting a new job, moving to a new location or retiring, as I will be in a few weeks? All of these bring some level of excitement and stress.

It’s not all feel-good stuff. But wielded correctly, it can lead to growth. I already have two income streams in the works and another idea for a third. I’m not even counting Medium in these. Writing is another passion I enjoy with potential to help others, and I can work to grow and monetize.

Recognizing this stress is also a means to grow and learn. We can become stronger and more resilient, as it is becoming a crucial part of our reality. So rather than trying to avoid or escape anything that’s stressful, we’d do better to lean into it, embrace it, and swap out our stress story.

Inspired by: Calm/The Daily Jay Podcast

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