CHANGE YOUR LIFE

Change Won’t Happen Unless You Do This One Thing

Reflections on how I got here

This was me a year and a half ago at the end of June 2021.

I cleaned out my cube, took a look around, and said goodbye to almost 15 years at a company that built my career.

Bittersweet is how I felt.

Now here I am today no make-up, hair up, fuzzy slippers on my feet, and writing with a lot less guilt lurking in my soul.

A change like this didn’t happen overnight.

My fresh start was the end of one life and the beginning of another.

But one thing was required to finally make it happen.

Wanting something different

As with any big change in life, it starts with a feeling of wanting something different.

That was me.

I was cruising along for the first decade of my career mostly happy with the work and certainly happy with the pay.

But then as expected, a baby changed everything.

The 9–5 life didn’t seem to fit anymore, but after 15 weeks of maternity leave, I put my heels on and back to the office I went.

I didn’t know at the time what I would do for an alternate income if I left. I just knew it was hard to ignore the ache of wanting to spend less time at work and more time with my babies in my arms.

Change can be a gradual progression

For the first couple of years of my son’s life, the daycare was down the street from work. I was fortunate to spend many of my lunches visiting him.

Having that opportunity to see him halfway through the day quieted the ache a little.

When my daughter came along two years later, I went from five days in the office to four. It felt like progress officially going part-time. Yet I still wanted more.

More time.

Then the pandemic arrived. A horrible event for mankind but my make-or-break moment that made my ache become a scream.

Isolation, stress, and feelings of not being a good enough mom and a good enough employee, took me to mental places filled with anxiety and physical distress.

Something had to give.

Overcoming fear

The difference between thinking about change and making a change is mostly about overcoming fear.

That was my problem and why change for me was a gradual progression. Fear had held me back for years.

There was a fear of leaving behind an identity.

Who was I any longer if I wasn’t an MBA grad pursuing a career in business? What did all that time and money invested in my education mean if I was no longer working and trying to climb the ladder?

There was another fear tied to others’ perceptions.

What would this look like to my peers, family, and friends voluntarily leaving a corporate job with great benefits to stay at home? Was I crazy and creating a career gap that would hurt me later in life?

All these “what if’s” wrapped around fear.

The pandemic was my last push to make a change.

It was an alarm siren going off and telling me to embrace a new path I believed in and wholeheartedly wanted deep down.

Today

To be clear, this isn’t a success story — not in the monetary sense anyway.

This part of my life on this new path is still in motion. Still yet to be determined.

I have no fancy title or a paycheck to show for it. Instead, I see myself as a mom, wife, and can I say it — writer.

I’m happy.

Any guilt I carried around for years looking for that “balance” between motherhood and career has been sanded down.

Maybe it’s because my kids are older, and I’ve had more time to adjust to motherhood. Maybe it’s because I don’t have the same demands of conforming to the corporate clock while figuring out how to get my kids to practice right after school.

Today my schedule is more flexible, and more easily molded to my life as a mother.

Whatever the exact reason for this newfound breath of fresh air, maybe it’s not one thing but several.

I just know I wouldn’t be here now if not for doing that one thing.

Leaping.

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