Change Process, Not Personality (2 — Community)
How the ‘Force of Community’ can create a lasting change
This story is part of a series exploring how we need to change our process, not our personality, in making lasting change, and today, we will look at the force of community.
According to the book ‘Stick with It,’ the force of the community is a great way to stick with a new habit.
When people begin to do new things together as a group or a community with shared values or with friends and accountability partners, they are likelier to keep doing those actions.
People can be motivated to do good or bad things because of the power of the community, like exercising and eating nutritious food for better health or smoking cigarettes and taking drugs. It depends on the nature of the community that you associate with and enjoy the company of.
One important factor for the community to effectively create a lasting change is that the members involved in the community must be engaged.
The more engaged and involved the community members, the more lasting positive habits can be cultivated by the members.
The strong forces of motivation, accountability, and community belonging affect such lasting habits.
It means that to take advantage of this force, you cannot be a solitary individual. At least two people are required at a minimum.
Dr. Sean Young, the author of ‘Stick With It,’ also writes that 6 ingredients make ‘Community’ a successful force for affecting lasting change.
The 6 Ingredients that Make ‘Community’ a Successful Force
These factors arise out of the needs of human psychology.
- The Need to Trust
When people trust other community members — whether family, friends, coworkers, or strangers — they become more willing to learn, more open-minded, and more willing to change. This trust is formed when people share thoughts, experiences, and difficulties with others.
— Dr. Sean Young
On my journey, I have shared my experiences of my reading habit in various ways — through highly impactful stories like this one. And a host of other stories.
Also, through word of mouth. I have spoken incessantly about the benefits of reading to those around me with young children.
Most times, the friends and neighbors have been very receptive to the idea. This feeling of building community trust has been very helpful in my journey.
The experiences I shared with friends, family, and neighbors have been well received and even adopted by enthusiastic parents.
2. The Need to Fit In
Many people will affect changes in their lives to be able to fit in a particular community. If the community is filled with individuals with a drive to learn and improve, it will definitely rub off on the newer or inexperienced members trying to fit in. They will try and inculcate better habits.
3. The Need for Self-Worth
Communities that help people feel good about themselves can increase the self-esteem of the members and keep them motivated to adopt better habits and stick to them.
4. The Need for a Social Magnet
The feeling of a social magnet, something that keeps the members glued together, is essential. If you are trying to use the force of community to affect a habit change and there is no social magnet or something that keeps that community together, then you need a new one.
Dr. Young explains —
The social magnet is essential for a strong community to promote lasting change. If you join a community and you don’t feel the social magnet, then it probably won’t help you to change. Find another community.
5. The Need to be Rewarded
If people are rewarded for good behavior, then those behaviors will stick and become more permanent habits.
6. The Need to Feel Empowered
Empowerment or self-efficacy is a very important factor in affecting a lasting change in an individual.
People who belong to a community that empowers them, by leading by example with mentors or role models, are more likely than those who don’t to achieve lasting changes in their lives. — Dr. Young
My Experience With Community (* * * * *)
I have had the really good fortune of having many positive, encouraging, and supportive people around me who make up my community of friends, family, and neighbors.
They have always encouraged me in many ways, keeping me going in my habit of reading books to my son.
My husband, Nitin, and our extended families have been my biggest cheerleaders, nudging me on my journey with kind words of encouragement. They have always been empathetic toward me in tough times, enabling me to continue.
Another example — a good friend of ours, Vikas Kulkarni, has been a source of great inspiration to me with his positive encouragement and contagious smiling and happy attitude towards life and self-development. And what he wrote as a comment on my story truly touched me —
Encouragement like this from the community around you is a strong motivator to continue your good habits and make them stick.
I am encouraged to be a motivator, just like Vikas, to others around me so that they continue their journeys of improvement. It is hard on some days to keep going. Bright and Warm friends around you can help keep you going in these situations.
Also, some mentors and their work inspire you and motivate you to aim much higher than you can imagine.
One such recent incident was when I wrote an article for the publication ILLUMINATION—and got applause from Dr.Mehmet Yildiz. I have read and admired his writings for quite some time now.
And so receiving his applause meant a lot and was a pleasant surprise and motivating! His comment on my story had me elated to no end. It is enough inspiration for me to go on for a long time :).
This factor worked for me not just as a reward but also as empowerment because of the faith and trust put in me by someone whom I look up to.
As you can see, what a great role the community around you can play in encouraging you to stick with your good habits or give up bad ones.
So, I rate Community 5 Stars for my journey (* * * * *)!
How you can use the force of community for your habits
- Surround yourself with positive and encouraging friends who are your cheerleaders.
- Get in touch with mentors who inspire you, learn from their ways, and get inspired and encouraged on your own journey of forming your habits for lasting change.
- Be the change that you want to see! Show an example of enhanced behaviors that people around you might want to emulate. Thus, you create your own little community with the desired behaviors around you. Share your learnings and inspire others!
- Peer Role Models: Learn from friends around you through their experiences.
Now that you know the significance of the community around you do not hesitate to join in with others to cultivate better habits and also to inspire and encourage others on their journey.
I hope you enjoyed the story. Thank you for reading!