Challenge Yourself to Grow a Thick Skin

31-Day Ninja Writing Challenge: Day Seventeen

I’m going to tell you something now that I think it’s very important for you to know. Like deep down, bone-level know. I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating.

There is so much rejection in publishing.

Seriously, it has to be the most rejection-filled profession on the planet. The only way to survive is to be tough. The only way to be tough is to realize that agents and publishers and readers aren’t actually out to get you.

I’ve included a sample agent rejection letter below, because I want you to see that it’s not as scary as it sounds.

Even when a writer is successful, they face piles of rejection. It’s just a fact of the business.

Here’s an example:

When I signed on with my current agent, I had seven offers. That means seven literary agents told me that they wanted to represent my work. SEVEN. That’s huge. It’s amazing. It felt so good.

But, I sent out 140 query letters.

I’ve had three literary agents. I’ve gone through this process three times.

That means that I was rejected by 136 agents. Three times. I was getting rejection letters from agents after my first book had sold to Penguin. I was getting them after The Astonishing Maybe sold to MacMillan.

Here’s a sample agent rejection letter. I want you to see that they don’t tear you apart. Generally, they’re not personal at all. (This is an actual rejection letter that came to my inbox after I’d already signed with with my current agent and the book had been sold to MacMillan.)

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Although your project isn’t right for my list at this time, I appreciated the chance to consider it and wish you the best in your writing and publishing journey.

Sincerely, Agent

That’s word for word, including ‘Dear Author,’ except that it had the actual agent’s name.

This is otherwise known as a Dear Author Letter or a form rejection. I’d like you to notice that the fact that I have previously published books did not insulate me from generic rejection.

I so far haven’t really immersed myself in the indie publishing world, so I don’t know for sure, but I feel like there’s probably some less rejection involved when you’re not trying to hire an agent and sell a novel to a publisher.

But there are still going to be critics who don’t like what you wrote. (Just go look at the 1 star reviews of To Kill a Mockingbird or any Harry Potter book. You’ll see.)

There will always be readers who just don’t want to read your work, or who don’t feel it if they do crack the cover.

That’s just the way this world rolls.

I’d like you to think about this: Rejection is proof that you’ve been in the fight. YOU put your work out there. YOU were brave. YOU didn’t hide behind your right to keep your words inside yourself.

Rejection is proof that you are a Ninja.

Here’s Stephen King on this subject:

I was going to assign you the task of driving a nail into your wall to hang your rejections on, but the times have changed since Stephen King was fourteen. Our rejection is digital. I’m sure his is now, too.

So here’s what I want you to do today: make an email tag and title it REJECTION.

Filling that sucker up means that you’re doing it right. Just go on writing.

ASSIGNMENT SEVENTEEN:

Make a REJECTION label in your email inbox today. Then make a commitment to start doing the thing that will fill it up. Put your work out there. Build up your own version of Stephen King’s collection of rejection letters. If you use Gmail, you do that by going to the sidebar all the way to the left and scrolling to the bottom. Click on “Create New Label.”

Come on over to Facebook and share your thoughts on rejection today. Let’s work on toughening our hides together.

Don’t forget to read and write for ten minutes each today!

If you haven’t checked out our summer workshops and classes, you can do that here.

Also, I’m hosting a free workshop on Friday (5/17) at 1 p.m. EST. I’ll be teaching my favorite writing exercise. I’d love to see you there.

Read all of the challenges in this series here:

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Shaunta Grimes is a writer and teacher. She is an out-of-place Nevadan living in Northwestern PA with her husband, three superstar kids, two dementia patients, a good friend, Alfred the cat, and a yellow rescue dog named Maybelline Scout. She’s on Twitter @shauntagrimes and is the original Ninja Writer.