Self-improvement archive
Celebrities Are NOT Role Models, Stop Putting Them On Pedestal
How to effectively learn and adapt without losing your own identity
When I was younger my sister was a fan of Britney Spears.
She would collect the articles, posters, and magazines, and put them in a big yellow folder.
She still has it and would flip through it from time to time. The idolization isn’t there anymore but there is nostalgia for loving someone so much.
I can relate but I never went through such lengths for a celebrity.
Was it beneficial? Was there any expression of self, was there a growth there because she was a fan of Britney?
How Celebrities Shape Us
You can’t forget the iconic 00s when Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Madonna, and various other women ruled the stage.
I still remember the snake Britney took on stage. The kiss between Britney and Madonna. The low-waisted jeans Christina would wear (and the hair!).
But it was all glamour. Was there something that they would teach young girls? That they would be under scrutiny if they ever became famous?
The songs were cute and a great stress reliever.
What did they stand for?
Femininity.
Power.
No apologies for who they are.
We still see the “self-love” route pop stars take and sing about how it’s so good to be who you are. But that’s because the topic is so popular (Let’s not talk about how depression levels are so high right now. Capitalizing on mental illness?)
Young girls look at how Britney was looked at — sexualized so much that it was ridiculous — and wanted that too. They wanted to become Britney and I think here’s where it all goes wrong.
Learn But Not Copy
Some would say copying is how you learn.
That may be true but from famous people, I have a rule to only follow their ideas.
There are so many horrible people in the world, you never know what those celebrities are really like.
I take the words they say and turn them into lessons.
Their songs turn into teachings, their dedication turns into inspiration.
But the person itself is just a vessel for an idea.
I don’t care about their love life. How many kids do they have? Could be 10 for all I care.
Arianna Grande had a cheating scandal and she will be fine (no one is cancelable). People will listen to her songs and call her boss b*tch. She’s not a homewrecker — she takes what she wants, and nothing will stop her. She’s not disrespectful, she apologized so it’s okay.
The lesson? Nothing is permanent — your reputation could change over time, so be careful with your actions.
Britney looked pretty on stage while suffering from mental illness. You don’t have to know that to enjoy her music. There could be a lesson in there to always take care of yourself first, not please others. The situation was sad but you subscribed to it no matter on which side you were.
You can take away the lessons all you want.
Don’t be betrayed when the truth is not what you like.
These people are not your friends.
They get paid to do a job.
They may love it or hate it — it doesn’t matter.
You may hate their songs or love them — again, it doesn’t matter.
Getting Close To The Influencers
It changed with the influencers.
Do I think they all shouldn’t be famous?
Not necessarily. It could show that any person could be interesting if you position yourself right. Your self-worth could suffer if you compare yourself to those who edit their whole life however they want though.
The fakeness is there and little girls would play “YouTubers” where they talk into the camera like them. It becomes a career path for young people. It becomes something achievable and desired.
How should you view a celebrity who you talk to from time to time?
Do you call them your friend?
Is there still a wall between you two when they Tweet at you and you laugh together? They now know of your existence so it’s something to consider. Maybe you’ll become friends.
If you’re not careful you might.
I can’t blame the influencers because that’s how you grow your audience — by interacting with them and showing that they are important. So the audience gains a voice that wasn’t there before and the influencer is more dependent on them as well.
Parasocial relationship at its finest.
Realize you are one of many. Even the ones who say they love you and appreciate you won’t remember you if you don’t show up for a week. They won’t notice.
It’s one-sided.
To be an influencer you have to have a skill (…maybe) that you could talk about. You can make others more knowledgeable about it, there’s some teacher aspect to it.
If you just take that away from the videos that should be enough.
You shouldn’t try to be in their life.
Final Thoughts
I said this before and I’ll say it again:
Don’t idolize people, be inspired by their ideas.
All people are just humans at the end of the day.
Does that mean there can’t be celebrities?
Not necessarily.
There are ideas so good that just can’t be hidden away from the world. And people deserve to take credit.
It’s important to not lose yourself and obsess over other people when you are a person too. Take care of yourself first. Learn and grow. Be aware of what you’re doing.
Liking a celebrity is no harm done.
Making it your character is a whole other story.
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