Summary

The article emphasizes the importance of recognizing and celebrating the contributions and character of our wives, particularly in the context of their roles as mothers and partners.

Abstract

The article "Celebrating Our Wives" is a poignant reflection on the significance of appreciating and acknowledging the everyday efforts and virtues of our wives, especially in the wake of a friend's loss of his wife to cancer. It highlights the touching moments and small acts of love that define a mother's and wife's role in the family, advocating for Dads to be more present and to vocalize their admiration and gratitude for their partners. The piece underscores the importance of focusing on the positive attributes and the lasting impact of seemingly mundane moments, encouraging fathers to actively celebrate and support their wives both privately and publicly.

Opinions

The author believes that memorials serve not only as a remembrance of those who have passed but also as a celebration of their lives, focusing on their admirable qualities and the small, meaningful moments they've shared with others.
It is suggested that Dads often overlook the importance of being present in the moment due to the distractions and busyness of daily life, missing out on the opportunity to appreciate their wives' contributions and the emotional bonds being formed within the family.
The article emphasizes that while no one is without flaws, it is crucial to focus on the positive aspects of our wives and to avoid dw

Celebrating Our Wives

Dads’ Survival Guide: Partnering — Our Marriages

Photo courtesy of Brian Matangelo on Unsplash

A close buddy lost his wife to cancer recently.

Her memorial service was touching. Filled with songs she loved. Favorite poems. And a delightful picture show of her lifetime.

Several people stepped forward. Delivering wonderful words about a wonderful woman. Their two college-aged daughters also paid tribute. Eloquent. Composed. Uplifting. Telling poignant stories. Fond memories. Moments that impacted their lives. And as each spoke, the reflection of their Mother’s spirit and character shone through.

While the loss was heartbreaking, the expressions of love and affection brought some solace to those in the audience. And we all walked out wishing we could have spent more time with someone so special.

Such an emotional experience affects any Dad. Leaving us thinking about our own family. Our wife. The Mother of our children. Her wonderful attributes. And the impact on their lives.

Of course, no memorial is needed to announce how special our wife is. As her husband, we’ve been singing her praises. Proclaiming her wonderful virtues. Aloud. Right? Certainly, we wouldn’t let our admiration go unsaid. Till some church-filled service down the road.

Would we?

Small Things

While sad by definition, memorials can often be celebrations.

Extolling the best about an individual. Individuals who are not perfect. Nor absent of flaws and inadequacies. Yet, only the positives are recalled. The admirable. As well as unseen facets of their personality. Creative interests. Personal passions. The distinctives that stand out most.

And the stories shared with the audience are rarely consequential. No exalted achievements. Titles attained. Businesses launched. Or even big family events. Disney. The trek to Yellowstone. Paris and the Riviera.

What people remember most are the small things. The tender moments. Making pancakes on Sunday mornings. Walks in the woods. Finding heart-shaped rocks on the path. Sitting by a lake; saying or doing nothing at all. Just being together.

People are touched by the interactions. Relationships. A word of insight. Instruction. Or affirmation. This is what is remembered most. Magical moments that seem insignificant at the time.

Being Present

It’s hard to notice these moments in the midst of bringing up kids.

Amid the whirlwind of activities and events. From dawn till dusk. Mealtime chaos. Stuffing backpacks. Hustling for the bus. Shuttling to and fro. Did they wear the right clothing. Bring the right equipment. Shoes tied. “Where’s my mouthpiece?”

Weekends are a blur. Seasons are a blur. Before we know it, years go by. Time lost in the commotion of life. The moments that matter obscured by matters that only seem important in the moment.

So much can be overlooked. The inconsequential which leaves a lasting impression. Things we hardly notice, creating an indelible memory.

In a world driven by “What’s next?”, Dads can get distracted from “What’s now?” We need to slow down. Take a breath. Put a pause on our obsessions with what’s ahead. And focus our attention on what’s around.

Be present. In the moment. Observe what’s happening between people rather than what’s happening to people.

In this light, our wife’s true colors will shine through. Her innate gifts, on full display. The maternal instincts. Patience. Care and compassion. Empathy and encouragement. The foundations of motherhood which ensure our children are on the proper course.

More Cow Bell

Nobody’s suggesting our wife is flawless. She’s like any of us. Full of human imperfections. Emotional. Impulsive. Prone to frustration. And occasional, self-intent. Deficiencies common to everyone.

Yet, dwelling on a person’s shortcomings is a mistake. With our wife. Work colleagues. Teachers, Coaches, or others in the community.

This is the biggest takeaway from any Memorial service. Time is short. So, let’s not waste it carping about people’s faults and missteps. Lets’ focus instead on others’ wonderful qualities. Build people up. Rather than tearing them down.

As for us Dads, we must be our wife’s #1 cheerleader. Especially in front of our kids.

Promoting all she does for them. The little things. Buying favorite foods at the store. Taco Tuesdays. Ice cream sundaes. Prayers at bedtime. Talking them through a tough situation. Or just sitting attentively, fully-immersed in the recounting of their day.

It’s okay to brag about our wife. Aloud. In public. Pull out the bullhorn. And the cow bell. (Always more cow bell). Let the world know how special she is. What a spectacular Mom she has become. How well she parents. Complimenting us. By handling the child-rearing stuff that we’re so miserable at.

Broadcast how grateful we are. As Dads. That somehow, among all the multitudes of humanity, we found her. To be with us. Forever. Bringing up our brood. So magnificently. Together.

And most importantly, don’t let all these thoughts lay hidden in our minds. Unsaid. Be certain our wife hears from us. Often. Because nothing is more important to her well-being than knowing how much her husband appreciates her. Admires her. Adores her. Loves her.

Dads are loudmouths by nature. So, this is easy for us. Being loudmouths for our wife.

Go, Dads. Go.