Summary

The author reflects on the shift in their birthday celebrations from alcohol-centered parties to peaceful, sober gatherings since quitting drinking in 2020, acknowledging the initial emotional challenges and the eventual embrace of a new, more introverted identity.

Abstract

The article "Celebrating Birthdays Sober -The Real Boring Truth" delves into the personal journey of the author who, after giving up alcohol, has experienced a significant change in how they celebrate birthdays. Previously known for extravagant parties involving heavy drinking, the author now finds joy in quieter, more meaningful activities. The transition has been emotionally taxing, leading to moments of grief over the loss of their former party lifestyle and the realization that some friendships were more centered around drinking than genuine connection. Despite initial struggles, including an awkward birthday gathering in 2021, the author has come to appreciate the tranquility and personal growth that sobriety has brought. On their 38th birthday, the author enjoyed simple pleasures such as family visits, homemade cheesecake, and gardening, valuing these experiences over the raucous celebrations of the past. The author concludes by affirming their right to a birthday celebration that respects their sobriety and planning for a memorable, alcohol-free trip for their next birthday.

Opinions

The author expresses a significant shift in their birthday celebrations, moving from wild parties to peaceful, sober activities.
There is a sense of loss and grief associated with giving up the party lifestyle and redefining one's identity post-sobriety.
The author feels that some friendships were more alcohol-centric than based on genuine companionship, leading to feelings of isolation during sober celebrations.
Sobriety has led the author to become more introverted and to discover a new sense of peace in previously perceived 'boring' activities.
The author believes it is acceptable to prioritize their own comfort and sobriety when planning social events, even if it means a smaller, more intimate gathering.
There is an emphasis on the value of memories and the desire to fully experience and remember one's birthday without the negative effects of alcohol.
The author is optimistic about future celebrations, planning a trip that aligns with their sober lifestyle and reflects their personal version of 'epic'.

Celebrating Birthdays Sober -The Real Boring Truth

No more all-night ragers, but no more tears.

I’m a big birthday celebrator. Every year I would plan a big bash for my birthday. Parties, kegs, slip-n-slides, wine tastings, sushi dinners, barb-e-ques, kayaking trips, jello shots, pudding shots… all the shots. You get the drift.

Since I quit drinking in 2020, I haven’t had the energy to plan such extravagant parties anymore. My birthdays have been much low-key than ever before.

I tried getting together with a few friends on one of their boats in 2021, but it turned into everyone else drinking and me making awkward small talk with a random guy that was invited via my friend’s Bumble match.

It wasn’t exactly my idea of a good time.

I cried when I got home — ugly cried. I cried because I had to grieve, yet another fucking thing I loved doing. I had to grieve because my friends wanted to drink more than they wanted to hang out with me. I had to grieve that the part of my life of throwing ragers was over.

And, it may seem like a silly thing to cry over. But, if there’s one thing I know for certain: the first couple years of sobriety are full of tears over shit you never realized you cared about.

And the grief over losing parts of your identity is real.

I’ve found that since I quit drinking I’ve become much more introverted than I was before. I seem to have morphed into almost an entirely different person (not for better or worse — just different). Was drinking the only reason I was extroverted before?

I turned 38 yesterday and I was showered with love from friends and family. I was given a few small gifts and a bunch of kind words. I visited with my mom and ate homemade cheesecake, and geeked out over a new hose from my dad (I’m a garden geek).

It was lovely and….

Boring.

Gasp! Oh NO! She said boring.. she’s going to turn to the bottle!

I can assure you, I will not. But, I want to know what the hell is wrong with boring?

As I’ve stated before, my old idea of boring is now my idea of peace. I stand by that statement with my whole heart. I would rather have a peaceful birthday over one where I end up crying.

I’m thinking I might do something more for #39 next June. But, I know for sure, it’s not going to revolve around watching people drink themselves stupid in “honor of my birth.”

And if eating a cheesecake and staying home with a couple of people I love is lame, well then I’m the lamest.

Sobriety has taught me that being “selfish” is okay. Wanting my birthday to actually be about me, is not a bad thing. And, it has taught me that I am allowed to not want to be around alcohol on my birthday.

If everyone else can’t celebrate me without drinking for a few hours, then they don’t have to come. And that’s perfectly okay.

You can still party on your birthday without booze. You’ll remember everything the next day and you won’t be celebrating by feeling like death on the day of your birth.

I think for next year, I’m going to plan a trip. I might go solo or invite a couple of friends, but either way… it’ll be epic in my own way.

And… I’ll remember the whole thing. 🎉