My Little Pony’s Subversive Communist Manifesto

And now for something completely different.

My four-year-old adored My Little Pony. She would wake before anybody else in the house and switch on MLP. I had grown used to the sight of ponies frolicking around Equestria early in the morning. But this one episode had me rubbing my eyes in disbelief.

Somehow, she had stumbled onto YouTube and found this episode. I immediately thought it was another crass adult version made to entice children into watching perverse episodes of their favorite cartoons. I was wrong. This was a legit MLP episode. My mind was immediately filled with questions.

Communist rhetoric in the land of the ponies? Who commissioned this? What an insane season opener gamble! How did this even happen?

The Cutie Map Part 1

The Story

As Twilight Sparkle settles into her new castle, she and her friends discover a map that shows trouble across Equestria. Traveling to one point, they find a town where all the ponies have the same cutie mark (a mark on the MLP’s rump that signifies their special talent), an equal sign.

The friends suspect something is wrong with the townfolk, particularly after meeting their leader, Starlight Glimmer. Starlight shows that all the ponies living there have given up their cutie marks and special talents, as they believe that they can achieve true friendship by being of equal skill.

Twilight and her friends secretly meet with other ponies who desire their cutie marks again and travel to a vault where the marks are kept. Upon arrival, the six are lured into a trap and Starlight robs them of their marks.

Cliffhanger

What an ending! The misguided leader, Starlight Glimmer has good intentions and takes away the marks for the good of the village. We’re left with a closing scene of doom. As the ponies fade-out, no longer with marks, an Equal sign hovers into view. A strong icon symbolizing equality has been reached.

Communist Theme

I was stunned. I couldn’t believe what I saw. Like a fever dream. Was that real? WTF just happened?

It all began pleasantly. The usual bravado from the MLP out to right the world. Off they go on a quest, arrive at the trouble and from there they’ll soon sort it out. Naturally, one pony will be the star and all of them would learn a lesson.

Except they arrive at a bleak village full of ponies with forced grins. Each villager is wearing a utilitarian outfit complete with a neck scarf. All the houses are drab in color, like the ponies, and all made to look uniformly identical. “Forget the smiles. Look at the cutie marks” observes Twilight Sparkle.

The villagers all greet the newcomers with welcome hooves. Party Favor lets them know they’re in the right place for friendship. They’re all friends. Equal friends. Off they trot to meet the leader, Starlight Glimmer.

True Friendship

This is what real, true friendship looks like. Nobody wants anything. Everybody has their duty and set role. Every pony is equal. Nobody is special. There are no individuals here. No pony is superior.

Starlight warms to her theme by adding:

“We don’t flaunt our special talents because we don’t have any special talents to flaunt.”

Cue music

Life is so grand in Our Town. We’re always filled with cheer. We never have to look around. To know that we’re all here.

[Citizens] In Our Town, in Our Town. We don’t have to wait. To find out that our destiny. Is just to emulate.

Starlight Glimmer: Let’s see those big, happy smiles!

Life is a smile in Our Town. Our cutie mark’s the same. Because we do not separate. Ourselves by more than name

[Citizens] In Our Town, in Our Town. We dare not compete. Winning only breeds the worst. Ego-filled conceit

Starlight Glimmer: You see? Now everypony wins!

Life is a joy in Our Town. We’re all equal here. No one is superior. And no one shakes in fear

[Citizens] In Our Town, in Our Town. We work as a team. You can’t have a nightmare. If you never dream

[Starlight Glimmer] Other ponies argue. Do you ever wonder why? When you think your talent’s special. You don’t see eye-to-eye. There’s just too many differences. That lead to disarray. But when you learn to act as one. It’s like a holiday

[Citizens] In Our Town, in Our Town. We don’t complicate. When you learn to simplify. Life is oh, so great. Join in our utopia. Come out of the dark. Banded by equality. By our cutie mark!

We’re Being Watched

Wow! Kim Jong-un couldn’t have written a better communist theme tune. Look how happy those ponies are. Utopia! Free of ego-filled conceit! Teamwork! No one shakes in fear!

And what do our heroes think about all this? Adventuring is hard work, time for a break. Enter snack break at the local inn where choice is limited to one item. No food should be superior to other food.

The cook apologizes for being such a bad cook. After all, this isn’t her talent. And she wants to know more about the cutie-marked visitors, but not out in the open. She’s being watched. Closely.

Indoors, she peppers the newcomers with questions. She’s incredibly excited to learn of free will and how individualism makes them all special.

“I’m sorry, I’m just having a hard time understanding. Different talents lead to different opinions, which lead to bitterness and misery. So… why aren’t you bitter and…?” asks Sugar Belle.

Special Ceremony

“The cutie unmarking is a beautiful experience! Starlight uses the Staff of Sameness to magically take them away and replace them with these.”

A beautiful ceremony is witnessed by the entire village as your special mark is removed. Soon, your sameness will make you happy and you can experience true friendship. It’s a beautiful thing. Someday, every pony in Equestria will make a pilgrimage to the village and have theirs removed.

The ponies want to see this magical staff. Naturally, this leads to a trap. Starlight Glimmer demands to know how they found out about the staff. Who told them? The ponies let slip. “Well, it seems you inspire all sorts of free-thinking, don’t you?” retorts Starlight.

The episode ends with the ponies locked up in a dark room. Their cutie-marks have been removed. They have to conform or see the error of the individualistic ways. Misery all around. No hope.

Part 2

The concluding episode delves even deeper into a communist society. There are torture techniques with loudspeakers forcing a message of solidarity and conformity 24/7 onto the ponies. There’s sleep deprivation. There’s public humiliation as an ‘informer’ is made to see the errors of his way. In sameness, exceptionalism is a lie. Conformity will set you free.

Absolute madness.

And this is how Season 5 kicks off.

Starlight is eventually defeated and all the ponies get their cutie marks back. Starlight escapes and comes back later to cause more mayhem among the ponies.

It’s this episode alone that has made me question kids' cartoons. And certainly, I look at MLP with a lot more respect. Indeed, the seasons got darker and even more twisted!

So next time you think My Little Pony is all about love and friendship and getting along…remember this subversive tale of horror!