Caution: There Is Danger In Believing Your Mind

The truth is we can’t believe everything our own minds tell us.

Don’t believe everything you hear — even in your own mind. — Daniel Amen

We are now living in a world that is becoming increasingly more complex.

It is not unusual that we find ourselves in a state of confusion. With the proliferation of new information, the ever-increasing speed of life makes it challenging to understand our place within the complexities of everyday living.

Our capacity for rational thought diminishes when we realize how complex our world is. We become overwhelmed, and this is the source of anxiety. We search for meaning, and we look for simplicity, purity, and peace of mind.

Our rational mind can be our worst enemy. The truth is that the brain is not always rational. Our emotions play tricks on us, and our feelings can overwhelm us.

We are getting more and more confused about life. Thus making rash decisions and judgements that we are not entirely comfortable with. This is often a result of our emotional mind. Emotions are powerful, and they rule the body. Thus, feelings guide thinking, speaking, and action. Our emotions and feelings are much more powerful than we realize.

So, when my friend texted me the other day, asking if I would be going to work that day, it went unread for a couple of days. What happened next surprised both of us.

On January 16th was a blizzard in Toronto. Because it was a workday for me, I prepared myself for a long morning commute as is customary whenever it snows.

I had a pile of work to do, a busy day ahead of me and a deadline of 1:00 p.m. the next day I had to prepare for. So despite my husband’s suggestion that I take off work, I got ready and headed through the door.

The storm outside was brutal. It was windy and cold, and the snow was falling in thick sheets and was already up to my knees. It was the season’s first blizzard, expected to last until mid-morning. Things were going well until I got onto the highway, and we had to slow down. Stopped, dead in our tracks for hours.

Many cars could not navigate the 35 centimeters of snow still falling. Cars had stalled and parked on the side of the highway, and others were unable to move. It was so bad that many cars ended up in ditches.

The commute became our worst nightmare. The snowstorm stranded people for hours, so the government shut down two highways.

Needless to say, my morning commute had my attention. But being stranded in the middle of a blizzard on the highway was something I hadn’t considered before I left home, and I kept thinking how dangerous it seemed.

I checked my phone the next day and saw my friend’s text message. I was so caught up in my own world that I missed an important message.

To me, the only thing I had to focus on was the task at hand — getting to work. I was stuck in a bad situation and didn’t think about how others dealt with it. I had been so preoccupied I forgot to pay attention to the details of my day. I was not thinking about our common good or about the people who were struggling with this storm. Or, for that matter, anything else outside of the storm.

My friend’s husband had left for a three-month military training camp two days prior. She was home alone with their two young children. Struggling with loneliness, sadness, separation anxiety, and despair.

Because we had a disagreement a few days prior, she thought I was still annoyed at her. And so, I was not responding to her messages. She had sent me three texts in the last 24 hours, and I had missed them all. She could not understand why.

Although we had squashed everything. And settled the disagreement, my friend allowed herself to believe that I would not answer. And she felt hurt, confused, lonely, sad, and angry.

In my mind, I was stuck in a blizzard, thinking about what I had to prepare for the next day. Additionally, I had to figure out how to navigate an already long commute back home. I spent three hours in traffic only to turn around to go back home. By the time I got back home, it was a five-hour ordeal.

I called my friend and told her that I had missed her messages. I told her how sorry I was for not responding and felt awful.

But by this time, she was already in tears, worried, angry, and she couldn’t understand why I had not replied.

You see, she was hurt and was mad at herself for not believing evidence — the mind is a terrible place. The truth is that we had already worked things out. And there was nothing that would cause me to ignore her text messages. Except for the fact that I was preoccupied with life.

In the end, I learned a fundamental lesson, and so can you.

1. When our emotions run high, we can miss important details. Our brains are too busy dealing with emotions to think straight. So we overlook essential information.

2. Our brains are actually less accurate in emotional situations. Because our emotions are more powerful. In stressful situations, we may not be thinking as clearly as we would in similar situations.

3. People usually have the lowest tolerance for the unknown. Anything unfamiliar or different from the norm can cause us to feel confused. Or become uncomfortable. If we are not careful, the unfamiliar can become threatening. Leading us to believe something is wrong.

4. We are not designed to be social when we are emotional. And if we are feeling emotional, we may not be as attentive as we would usually be. In fact, in some cases, we may be incapable of being aware of anything else other than our emotions. In that case, it is unlikely we will focus on details that are not directly related to our emotions.

5. We are more likely to believe what we want to think. Which can lead to a false sense of conviction. And can also lead to a failure to notice important details that may contradict our beliefs. This can lead us to be illogical, irrational, and even delusional.

This is an excellent example of how quickly our emotions can take over our thinking. And can lead to mistakes, hurt feelings, and broken relationships.

If she had taken more time to think things through, she could have been more rational. My friend’s emotions ran high because she felt hurt that I had not responded to her.

We can’t believe everything our minds tell us.

The Takeaways

My friend was confused that I didn’t seem to care. That, in turn, created a cycle of emotion, which led her to believe I was not responding, which led to anger, sadness, and hurt. This is one of the most common reasons people get into fights and break up.

We can’t believe everything our minds tell us. We need to pay attention to the facts. We need to be aware that our emotions can influence our decision-making. Besides, we need to be clear-headed enough to notice when we are feeling upset, take a step back and sort out what is going on.

At the end of the day, the truth is that the more upset we get, the less we are likely to notice important details, and the more we are likely to believe what we want to think.

This is an excellent example of how quickly our emotions can override our ability to think clearly and make rational decisions.