Caught Nude…

and not knowing where to look!

Oh, thank you so much for tagging me, Steve! How did you know I swim nude? You’re not spying on me, are you?

It’s no secret that I swim nude in my own pool… when no one’s around. I’m just lazy. When I’m hot and sticky, it’s just easier to strip off and dive in. No excitement here!

But I have had one exciting …well actually more terrifying at the time … adventure on a nudist beach in Port Macquarie, NSW. It’s a nice hike to get down to Miners Beach and it’s not the fact that it’s a nude beach that we liked swimming here, but there wasn’t a crowd.

Actually, my partner and I were the only ones on the beach that day. We stripped off and left our gear in a secluded area between some big rocks where we couldn’t be seen from the hiking trail. We brought a picnic lunch and a bottle of bubbly.

We stripped off the few clothes we had on and went swimming in the cool clear ocean diving through the waves and having fun. I swam far out as usual and frightened my partner who stayed closer to the shore. After getting in a bit of exercise, I headed out to our picnic spot. As I rounded the rocks, there was a man stark naked, as was I.

My heart was in my throat. I was fucking terrified. Why the hell had he come in here when he had the rest of the beach to himself? But I tried to be cool and calm and spoke to him in a friendly, but not too friendly, manner.

— Do you mind if I dry myself off? I asked cordially.

I honestly can’t remember what he replied but I grabbed my towel and wrapped it around me.

Where the bloody hell is my partner? was all I could think.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed… I don’t know how to put this… his member had increased in size and was standing bolt upright. Now I was really scared… where the hell is Jamie?

He started some small talk.

— How often do you come here?

I chatted away as if I didn’t have a care in the world. I looked around to see if there was a rock I could use in self-defence if he decided to accost me. I kept mentioning my partner was on the beach with me and would be here any second…and I really really tried to keep my eyes averted from his nether regions.

Appearing nonplussed I opened the bubbly and offered him a glass which he politely refused. Thank God! I would have had to get closer to him and that thing!

Finally, Jamie trots in… I see you’ve made a friend.

Jamie introduces himself and the guy leaves. I can breathe at last.

— Where the bloody hell have you been? You’ve been gone for hours!

— I’ve been writing messages in the sand.

And sure enough, he had…words big enough they could be seen from space!

I must explain that Jamie, lovely guy that he is, has Aspergers.

That was the last time I went to Miners Beach. Or in fact, any nude beach!

I’ll stick to swimming naked in my pool, thank you very much!