From my journal entries…

Caught By His Wife — I’m In Over My Head

He told me she saw him driving me to my apartment after we met for lunch. She saw us. She saw us in his truck, together.

Justin and I talked by the pool a few times after we had our ‘lunch’ by the lake. He came to watch me swim one morning and to let me know he had to get a new phone because he broke his. He told me he was going to the store the following weekend and was using his work phone temporarily. He couldn’t text me on that.

I got a text from his phone number the next day. Something was off with the text.

The font in the texts, even his responses, were a different color — green. They didn’t have any of the cute emojis that he would send to me, or the hearts he would put on my messages. It didn’t sound like him.

I kept my texts fairly vague. I wasn’t sure if it was his wife or him texting. She could have been texting using his login on the iPad or on a computer.

Then I saw him stop outside my office window on the golf cart — he was picking up something off the grass and at the same time I got a text from him and knew he was not the one texting me. He turned waved and shook his ass at me before he left. My stomach hurt.

In the texts he and I made plans for him to stop by on Thursday that week to caulk my bathroom and take care of a couple other repairs.

When I saw him by the pool the following morning he had no idea what I was talking about. He told me again his phone wasn’t working and he was using the work cell.

I told him what I thought was happening and got an ‘oh shit’ from him. He promised he would be there that afternoon.

What happened when he got there confused me, it was like there were two different Justin’s in my apartment. I had a hard time keeping up.

Justin brought a back-up with him that afternoon.

Paco was with him — he was a another maintenance guy at Arbors and we were friendly with each other, but kept conversation where I usually do with a maintenance guy (weather, Disney and football — anything but sex).

Justin said he and Paco would both work the repairs. Typically, no matter what repairs I had waiting, Justin would come there by himself unless he had to move an appliance.

I attributed him bringing Paco to the — “let’s keep our clothes on when you’re over conversation” we had over lunch the other day. He was also overdressed for a visit to my apartment…no muscles out.

The three of us were in the bathroom (first repair) while they were working on caulking. We were all talking about football, joking around. Justin and I were sitting on the edge of the tub, Paco was on the floor by the toilet.

It got quiet and then, out of the blue, Justin tells me he has to stop texting women. He was shaking. He had to stop texting not just me, but all women — orders of his wife. His voice gave the impression he was scared of me.

He hadn’t talked to me like that before, the tone. I played along and tried to lighten it by saying: “Really? I thought she was cool with me.” The look on his face. He shook his head ‘no’ and looked even more terrified — he didn’t respond. Paco couldn’t see his face. I realized Paco had on his ear buds.

He quietly said — ‘it’s all good’. He put his hand on my thigh and told me he just needed to ‘lay low’ for awhile — smiled, winked and whispered ‘we’re still good’.

He asked what else needed to be fixed and I told him the fan in my husband’s bedroom. He asked me to show him.

I could tell he was nervous, but that also got the two of us out of the bathroom, away from Paco. He had a fan switch to flip in the bedroom.

He grabbed me, hugged and kissed me when we went in there.

He whispered about how he missed us, he told me he loved me. Then he got loud enough with for Paco to hear, if he was listening, and said that he gets why his wife doesn’t want him texting women as he was rubbing my hand on his crotch. He had a big grin on his face and was winking at me. He said if he wants to stay with his daughters — and her — he had to stop.

This was all some kind of ‘act’ that I didn’t understand. I told Justin to do what he had to do. I assumed Paco was going to tell someone what Justin was saying to me. So he’s holding me in an embrace and saying these other things for Paco to hear. It was an act for Paco’s benefit.

We went into the living room. At that point I told him how his wife came at me a few days prior — with Beckett — his dog. She came across the street at me from the breezeway by their apartment.

He told me she saw him driving me to my apartment after we met for lunch. She saw us. She saw us in his truck, together.

I didn’t even think about it when we were driving that day, she was not on my mind at all. We were in his truck and he left with me out the back gate to go back to my car. That story is in Putting the Brakes on with My Maintenance Guy.

I reminded him I was still not walking great because of my hip issues and told him that I didn’t like her trying to have Beckett come at me. He told me not to worry, Beckett doesn’t like her, he likes you.

I was worried about her making me fall. He was making jokes.

He wanted me to call the police on her if she tried to come at me again. I think that was his way of trying to create situations to get custody. He said: “Call the police and have her arrested.”

This relationship was getting out of control.

Now I understood. She must have looked at his phone or texts somehow after she saw us. I think his phone was thrown by someone — and that’s how it broke. Maybe it wasn’t broken and she just took it from him.

I didn’t want Justin and I to have anger between the two of us or more drama. I felt like he was trying to get me to provoke her. I didn’t want to deal with her or be in the middle of his issues.

All of a sudden things became real. I’m too old for this crap.

I also didn’t want to be the reason his marriage ended. He had to make that choice on his own.

In my heart I knew I loved him. I wanted him to be happy. He is a good man, a good father and his happiness is very important to me, even if it means him staying with her and his daughters. I wanted her to treat him better.

What I didn’t know is how he treated her. He does seem to have a short fuse at times.

I asked him if he had thought about counseling for the two of them. If they’re going to divorce it may help them learn how to be civil.

Justin got that bullish — bad boy attitude and started making comments about how marriage would never work with someone like her. He wanted to know why I was trying to get him to stay with her.

He realized he was getting loud about her. I had to have looked like I was getting scared — I don’t like confrontation. He grabbed me in the living room, hugged me again, and apologized. This time it lasted longer, tighter, I was sad and confused.

He took me into my bedroom, he was faking another repair in my room — he grabbed me and held me tight again.

When Paco was done he left, I saw him peak into the room as he was heading out the door and Justin quickly let go of me. He made some comment that I had tripped and he was making sure I didn’t fall. Then he yelled to Paco he’d be leaving in a few.

This time we shared a very intense hug and he shoved me against the wall and kissed me hard. The way I liked it.

As he left I told him to take care of himself and let me know if he needed anything.

He didn’t say anything, just looked sad — winked at me and said “We’ll be ok. I got plans for us to be together soon.”

I did think it was interesting how it all happened after I told him we needed to slow down. His last comment had me wondering what he was up to. That day was just too weird and something told me that his actions would be reported back to his wife. I wondered if he or Paco were recording it.

This was just too much, too confusing. I suddenly felt scared for my safety.