Take a Gamble

“…here is not the world. Here is a place where there is no work or homework, where people do not judge each other, and where they do not try to outdo each other.”

I led a correct life and never permitted myself any vices. Whilst all my friends were experimenting with cigarettes, liquor and other addictions I stayed away and was not considered “hep” or “with the times.”

It did not matter to me, I had a couple of good friends who were benevolent to my idiosyncrasies, acknowledged and understood my reluctance and guarded me from brickbats.

With firm convictions, I chose a career in teaching, knowing that it suited my temperament and lifestyle best.

As a guide, philosopher and facilitator I, tried hard to imbibe the right values in my students, citing from my own life, the importance of holding your own and not succumbing to peer pressure.

The International Circus Festival of Monte-Carlo (French: Festival International du Cirque de Monte-Carlo) is a large annual circus festival that is held in Monaco every January.

I was fortunate to be selected by my school to attend the festival with a student and her mother. Staying in this fascinating city, as a guest, for nine days was a dream come true.

We were lodged in a beautiful hotel and had the mornings free for sight seeing. Every evening we would leave the hotel around seven p.m to watch the circus and return past midnight.

Monte Carlo is a city that never sleeps. Each night as we would return to the hotel, we would see Ferrari’s and other fancy cars parked outside the casinos.

Never having visited a casino, I was curious and decided one night to pay the cover charge, dress up and go in.

The experience was a little intimidating as I was not intending to gamble and after a round of the various rooms, where serious gambling was happening and non gamblers stood out like eyesores, I decided to scoot back to the hotel I was staying in.

Back in the hotel, my confidence restored, I discovered that there was an area demarcated to slot machines. Having no idea how they worked, I was fascinated and drawn to them. Each machine was taken by a well dressed old French woman, with her hair beautifully coiffured, so intent on their machines that they barely looked up or acknowledged your presence.

I tried my hand once, without any understanding or knowledge. Unfortunately or fortunately, I did not have any beginners luck. After that I stayed away and spent more time outside exploring scenic Monaco.

Post retirement I was at a liberty to travel and visit countries that fascinated me. There was no compulsion to rush back, or being thrifty, and me and my husband decided to go on holidays and spend two weeks, in each city we visited. We had all the time to spare now as retirees. Holidays were guilt free, as we had toiled all our lives and fulfilled all our responsibilities.

We would have ample time to explore, enjoy and imbibe the city in all its hues. Sightseeing was leisurely and the holiday relaxing.

Casinos are not legal in my city. So along with my husband we walked into our first casino together by chance. He was a good teacher and decided to explain the intricacies of slot machines to me.

I was the silent spectator, watching him switch from game to game, and the thrill of winning was infectious. The drinks, the buzz, the local people all engrossed in the different options available in a casino, be it roulette, blackjack, poker, machines …all fascinated me. After a strenuous day of sightseeing, it was nice to unwind, with a drink in a casino.

Slowly, I gained confidence and sat on a slot machine independently. I took a small amount, and betted the minimum possible on the machines and got hooked.

I found I could spend hours, trying to figure out how the games were programmed, how often you needed to spin before you would get a win and the need to move to a new machine once lucky.

For me, the winnings or losings were not significant, though I must say once you lose its difficult to move away as there is always the hope and need to make up your losses.

Funnily, once you make money and and are on a winning streak, you are victim to the same dilemma, telling yourself its a good day and to make hay while the sun shines.

The vicious cycle takes over and it is only a determined person who can walk away and not get hooked for life.

The teacher in me is always trying to comprehend the mind of the game maker. I try to decipher the order, sequencing and number of wins a machine will give in a day. I do know that luck has a very small role, it is more about understanding the mind of the programmer of the game. Some games, are easier to win on and for me with a limited budget it was not so much about taking chances, but playing safe and making my money last longer.

Fortunately, this is a vice I picked up post retirement.

I sometimes wonder how a person who was always correct, never ever swerved, has acquired an addiction to casinos and slot machines ?

I blame it on my genes as my dad, a hard working government servant de-stressed on weekends by visiting the racecourse. Again for him horse racing was more scientific, he would study each horse’s details and mathematically analyse and bet. The amount he bet was small, but thrill of working out the winner was immense.

I have now visited casinos in Las Vegas, Macau, Portugal, Krakow, S.Africa, Mauritius and many more. I no longer am intimidated by the environment or lack of my resources. I know that I am here not to make money, but to enjoy the vibe, ambience, thrill, buzz and prospect of beating the machine I sit on.

Even if I wanted to indulge, fortunately I have an accompanying husband, who watches over me like a hawk preventing me from over indulging and being rash.

I am quite aghast at the changed me. My friends are happy and indulgent and laugh at the way my face lights, when I see a casino. They can identify more with me now than ever before.

I am happy that I did take a gamble.

After all to err is human.