Carolina

This is dedicated to a very dear person I lost a few months ago. Carolina is a pseudonym.

Carolina grew up as a very anxious, conflicted, and rebellious child; she trusted no one and nobody trusted her. She was full of insecurities and inhibitions.

Carolina knew one only thing: everybody acted against her. People envied her all the time. At school, her teachers underestimated her capabilities. Her friends considered her weird, obsessive, and a bit dramatic.

At home, she felt her parents failed to understand her. Carolina had an affectionate attitude with her mother, though retaliation towards her was not uncommon.

She failed to understand her father. He was often not present, but when he did come she became even more troubled and insecure. Sometimes she’d run away when she saw his car pull into the driveway.

Her father always brought out the worst in her.

Despite her skepticism towards everyone in her family, Carolina adored her sisters. She confided in them and told them her ambitions.

Darkness is another thing she adored. Hiding in secluded alleyways brought her peace of mind. Getting lost in the dense winter fog was a skill she’d honed, and nobody enjoyed the deafening night silence quite like she did.

What exactly were her ambitions?

Well, they weren't uncommon among teenagers: running away from everything. To be a new person, a new being.

And did Carolina run away?

Yes, Carolina fled like it was the last day to escape a lurking catastrophe. No tears shed, no words of desolation uttered. One suitcase, one goodbye, and Carolina was gone.

Years passed by and nobody heard from Carolina. Some thought she was dead; some thought she had changed her identity. Nobody could find her.

One autumn afternoon, an unknown phone call from a distant land confirmed that Carolina had died; Her death was a peaceful one.

Now that she’d left for good, it was the first time her name was uttered in the house since she first left.

Rest in peace, Carolina.