Carl Jung’s Winning Formula in Life

Life can be interpreted in many ways. Here’s a perspective from one of the greats

Carl Jung knew that for life to be beautiful, it needed to be whole.

But for his life to be whole, he first had to accept and love all the facets of himself — the light and shadow, conscious and unconscious, chaos and order.

This, of course, creates a fabulous paradox in life.

Perhaps that’s why he said:

“Only the paradox comes anywhere near to comprehending the fullness of life”

And:

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate”

So, how to dance in the paradox and come out smiling? How to live a happy life among the madness?

Well, Carl Jung has something to say on that and it’s his winning formula in life:

“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become”

Let’s unpack what he might mean by that, shall we?

I am not what happens to me

This one can be a hard one to wrap the head around. It’s up there with “my thoughts are not my own.”

However, upon further inspection, I see that whatever happens outside of me is merely a reflection of what’s going on inside of me.

If someone says something painful to me, for example, initially it looks like the source of pain comes from the person who’s saying something hurtful. But they can only touch something that’s unresolved inside because if someone says I’m ugly but I don’t believe it, I shrug them off. I might even laugh because it’s so silly. If, on the other hand, I do believe it, it can cripple me for days.

It all comes down to how I see myself in the end and then how people and events outside reflect that back.

If I’m defined by what happens to me, I’m at the mercy of the world and my happiness will always reside outside of myself. If I’m defined by something bigger, however, I connect to a deeper truth that underpins the eternal nature of life and my happiness resides within.

How to alchemise life and repurpose it for the benefit of others

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves” — Carl Jung

Without others, we can’t grow because we can’t access all the different parts of ourselves that remain hidden without them.

What a golden opportunity they provide!

That’s why Carl Jung went on to say:

“Whatever is rejected from the self, appears in the world as an event”

If we keep rejecting it, it will keep appearing. It will have different faces, names, and locations, of course, but the root will still remain so it will continue to rear its ugly head.

When I first heard this quote it hit me between the eyeballs because I could see it playing out in my life.

For when I felt anxious, inadequate, or small, or if I feared being judged by another, someone would always show up and play that role in order for me to experience it. However, it all started within me first. Or perhaps more accurately, it hurt more when it happened because it was something that already hurt inside.

That’s why Carl Jung said:

“We meet ourselves time and again in a thousand disguises on the path of life.”

And…

“What you resist, persists”

I quickly realised that for me to break my old habit patterns, I needed to thank those in my life who were showing me areas of myself that I needed to work on and then accept myself fully for who I was.

Don’t get me wrong, it was scary and still is and I’m not there yet. It’s an ongoing process but I’m more committed to the cause than ever.

“Everything changes once we identify with being the witness to the story, instead of the actor in it” — Ram Dass

I am what I choose to become

All of the greats have said this before:

Mahatma Gandhi:

“Your beliefs become your thoughts. Your thoughts become your words. Your words become your actions. Your actions become your habits. Your habits become your values. Your values become your destiny”

Lao Tzu:

“Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.”

Buddha:

“What we think, we become”

So, nothing’s new here except for the magnitude of what it means once it’s fully understood in each individual life.

“You don’t have to be the victim of your environment. You can also be the architect of it” — James Clear

If we can learn to take all the darkness, trauma, pain, oppression, and fear and alchemise it into wisdom, this wisdom can begin to help the world become a better place for those to come as it stops passing from person to person.

This radical acceptance can also set us free. And Carl Jung knew it.

He even said as much:

“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are”

But before that, be warned: “The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.” — Carl Jung

Here are some other profound one-liners from the man himself

“The first half of life is devoted to forming a healthy ego, the second half is going inward and letting go of it”

“Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart”

“Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people”

“Thinking is difficult, that’s why most people judge”

“As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light of meaning in the darkness of mere being”

“It all depends on how we look at things, and not on how things are in themselves. The least of things with a meaning is worth more in life than the greatest of things without it”

“The loss of individuality leads to tyranny”

“I must also have a dark side if I am to be whole”

Closing thoughts

The moon can only fill up once it becomes empty. It can only shine in all its glory once it’s gone through its darkest expression. It doesn’t berate itself for experiencing darkness or wish for it to be any different (as far as we know).

Instead, it sees it as just a part of the process. It’s the natural cycles of life. However, more importantly, it knows it must change like everything else.

So, simply accepting that we’re not perfect human beings can lighten the burden of trying to be.

So, always remember: Nothing’s set in stone. Everything can change in the blink of an eye.

We are the ones who decide who we are and who we wish to become. Change course if need be. There are no rules here. We’re all just figuring it out as we go.

So, dream big. It’s more fun.