Careful If You Hear Any of These Phrases from the Company You Work For

If you hear one of these, it’s perfectly fine to say “no”

The company-employee relationship can sometimes be complicated, the work-life balance can easily be upset. You start working on something you like and the next thing you know you’re pushing extra hours like it’s normal.

Sadly, the effort and extra dedication are normally one-sided. In other words, you put in the hours, you miss out on your personal time, and the moment you need something, the rules won’t allow for it.

This is normal, we sometimes fail to realize it’s not the company’s fault that they’re not willing to break the rules. In fact, the bigger the company is, the harder it is for them to break them because they’re usually under heavy yearly review processes. So who’s fault is it?

Partially yours. Yes, I said it.

You didn’t know better, so you missed some of the signs. There are some phrases you’ll hear from people in management that’ll act as a warning sign if you can spot them. Here are the top 3 I’ve heard over the almost 2 decades of my career in IT.

We’re a family

This is a classic one, many companies say it during interview processes because they think it helps candidates feel at home. They think it’ll make them feel comfortable and be themselves. However, this also makes them lower their guards and think they’re actually home.

Even if you work remotely, during your working hours, you shouldn’t feel at home. You should be alert, focused, with your mind in your job. If you don’t, then you’re likely to accept things like working extra hours for free, no vacation policies due to production releases, and more.

Essentially, you’ll be making sacrifices for the company you work for, just like you would for your family. What’s the problem with that?

Simple: they won’t be able to do the same for you. Next time you need an extra day off and you’ve taken them all, they won’t be able to. Next time you ask for an advance on your salary, they won’t be able to. And the list of examples can go on, essentially every time you ask them to break the rules, they won’t. And again, it’s not their fault, they need to play by the rules, and the rules are pretty clear. The thing is: the rules also say that you can agree to not receive the mandatory compensations for that extra work you’re doing. And if you agree to it, then it’s on you.

It’s a very fine line, the “we’re a family” phrase doesn’t directly say that there will be reciprocity but we tend to assume it does. It’s only one we need that reciprocity that we understand that was never part of the deal.

So no, you’re not a family, you’re a person working for a company that needs to make money. They have obligations and so do you, make sure you have that part clear.

Why do you want to work for us?

Normally heard during job interviews, but really, it can be said at any given point. And what are you going to say?

We normally tend to lie, we come up with an elaborate response trying to show we care about the company’s mission or their values. When in reality we usually want to work for them because they offer an interesting salary.

What’s the point of working if not to make a salary that allows you to live well? Granted, money can be more relevant and important to some people while it can be a little less for others. But if you boil it down, you work for money.

Companies, please, stop asking that silly question. Change it up for something more relevant, like asking for the type of value you expect to add. Anything really that doesn’t force people to actively lie would help.

Asking for favors

Very similar to how your company isn’t your family, companies shouldn’t be asking for favors.

If favor is required, the implication that you need to pay it back is there. But a company can’t pay back a favor just like they can’t break the rules for you. Here’s the deal though, the request won’t come from the company, it’ll come from a manager or a high executive, most likely promising something great in return.

If you’re going to accept, remember this one thing: get a confirmation in writing. Words have no value, if someone promises a promotion in exchange for a few months of extra time, they can easily forget they ever said it. You have to avoid falling for the “your word against their word” trap, you’ll never win that one. However, if you have a very specific email where you state what you’re going to be doing and what the compensation for those favors will be you’re good. As long as they reply with an “OK” at the very least that is. You’ll have something to show and use in case they decided to “forget” about their promises.

I know how this might sound, but it’s not about deceiving them, or about tricking them into agreeing to do something they don’t want to. It is, in fact, about covering your own butt and making sure you have the tools to fight for your own rights if that is ever required.

Asking for the confirmation of a verbal agreement via writing is not such an unheard behavior. In fact, many times after a phone call with a client you’d send an email to make sure you both understood the same thing from the call. This is exactly like that, a way for you to set the correct expectations for you and your manager.

Companies have very strict rules they need to follow, and while you’re free to decide to ignore your benefits and the obligations they have towards you, they don’t really have the same luxury. They can’t decide when to break the rules and when to follow them.

Managers and recruiters can ask for favors and they can tell you how comfortable you should feel working for them. But truth be told, your job (pun 100% intended) is to remember that this is a working relationship. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you making sure your rights as an employee are respected.