Caravanning — I thought it would be easier
If only everything were as easy as it seems on YouTube
Going camping overseas usually is very simple for me. First, I ask George to look after my pets. Then I pack the most important stuff, like my DSLR camera, laptop, passport, credit card and a few clothes. Following, I drive to the airport (or find a friend who takes me there), board the plane, and a few hours later, I land somewhere in the world where I get a motor home, and off I go wherever the road takes me.
It’s not quite the same when caravanning in Australia. Until now, I travelled with George, who would handle the caravan, including towing it. But things changed, and now I have my own caravan, a car good enough to tow it, so it’s time for me to learn how to do it. Actually, this was the second time I would be towing a caravan, but this time, for the first time ever, I had to do all the caravan checks myself.
It wasn’t a big trip. I just wanted to get away from home and experience driving with two tones attached to my vehicle. George would come with me because he also wanted to get away, and it was more reasonable to go together for financial reasons.
When George comes with me, he will sleep on the double bed, and I doze on the couch. I know it’s a bit short, but it doesn’t matter. I usually sleep very well, especially on holiday, and I can sleep anywhere — in a tent on a tin mat or even on the ground next to my car or motorbike.
Reversing The Caravan
The first task was to reverse the caravan to the shed and pump up the tires. I started by consulting my super reliable teacher called, YouTube. I watched a video, and… “That’s super easy!” I exclaimed to myself. In the end, the video was only about 2min long, and they managed to park the caravan perfectly! “Should be right, mate, for sure I can do it! I just need to make sure I don’t jackknife it….” — I thought to myself
After about 10 minutes, I started to wonder to myself, “How on earth should I get it in front of the last bay?! Yes, I have plenty of space behind me, but the caravan is going in the wrong direction!” In the end, I gave up on perfection. “Ah, who cares about jackknifing it or not? I just need to get it close enough to reach the tires with the compressor’s hose!”.
I went home proud that I managed to reverse the caravan without causing any damage and said to George, “I won’t unhitch it at the shed. I will pump up the tires, take the van back to the road and then unhitch it”. “Why not? You can leave it in front of the shed. You just give me a lift to town, and when we are back, you hitch it up again, and we go,” replied George, surprised I would make things more difficult for myself. “Yeah, Nah… If I unhitch it there, I will never be able to hitch it up again. No chance!” — I replied “Why not? What’s the problem?” — George continued “Ugh… Just look out the window, and you will understand” — I chuckled He looked out and “Oh, it would be very difficult to hitch it up again….” “Yes, exactly, in other words, it would be impossible for me, so I am going to pump up the tires and…” Before I could finish, George (surprisingly) calmly interrupted me “Would you like me to park it for you?” Oh yes, of course, I wanted. This was the best solution. A couple of minutes later, the van was perfectly parked in the correct position.
Life isn’t fair! Why could George (and YouTube) park the caravan in the correct position in just 2 minutes, and I couldn’t get it right even after trying for almost half an hour?! Oh well, one day, when I have time, I will practice caravan parking (ha, ha, ha, it doesn’t look like it will happen in the next 100 years, as I am already fully booked for that time)
Pack “The Kids”
Anyway, when I finally finished preparing the caravan, and all was ready to go, including kitchen and bathroom equipment, camping chairs and a table, it was time to pack ‘the kids’ — Jeffrey and Daisy. You would think it’s not much work, oh well… I wish it were the case…
First, prepare Jeffrey’s travel cage, clean his daily cage and put it in the van. Then pack some food for him and all the towels necessary to protect the caravan from his droppings. The next step was to find some branches with fresh flowers and place them inside his ‘daily cage’.
When Jeffrey was ready, it was time to pack Daisy’s stuff — her bed, towels, bowls, food and snacks, leads and harness, and everything you need for a dog.
The next thing was packing all food — for George and me, and I even managed to pick a couple of kilograms of cherries from my trees. And in the end, I had a few minutes to pack my own stuff before I needed to give George a lift. He was selling his car, and it so happened that the car was being picked up that day, so George needed a lift home.
It was almost 5 pm when we were finally ready to go for the drive.
Finally on the Road
In the back seat, “the kids” started a fight. Jeffrey is entirely in love with Daisy, who in some respect loves him too, but more as a snack than a life companion. Jeffrey screams, trying to get out of the cage and as close to Daisy as possible. Daisy has her own issues. Already by loading, there were problems. She stretched herself across the seat to prevent me from placing the cage there. When I finally managed to squeeze it in and we drove off, Daisy occasionally snapped at Jeffrey, causing chaos.
I don’t think I need to explain how much fun it is to travel with kids in the back seat — every parent knows this pleasure. Yes, fair enough, mine are “just pets”, but… In the past, I travelled with kids in the back seat and, believe me, there is hardly any difference — pets or kids, both drive you nuts.
And so I had two unhappy pets in the back seat and Grumpy George in the passenger seat next to me.
Grumpy was annoyed because the car he wanted to buy wasn’t imported to Australia anymore. Great! What a wonderful travel companion! And then, when I travel by myself, people feel sorry for me, believing I have to feel lonely. That’s crazy! When I’m alone, I am definitely not lonely. I am perfectly happy enjoying my own company without any stress and frustration.
The weather was quite stormy, and I could feel the wind hitting the caravan and impacting the car. Usually, I drive closer to the middle of the road. The roads here hardly ever have a shoulder, the edge of the road is really bumpy, and a lot of rubbish lies around, which potentially could puncture my tires. (Roads in Australia are everything but good. They resemble country roads in East Europe, very different from perfect German Autobahns).
With the caravan, however, I had to keep to the left side of the lane, further away from the middle, which was a bit challenging. I am not used to driving with a caravan, so all this was a very new experience.
Additionally, the highway was quite busy at that time of the day, and a few trucks travelled on the road. I could see a couple of B-doubles behind me. As soon as I came to an overtaking lane, I slowed down to 70 kph to let them overtake me, but they weren’t going to.
“Why aren’t they overtaking?! What are you doing?! Why don’t you let them overtake?!” — George yelled at me.
I tried to keep quiet and replied, “George, I don’t know why they aren’t overtaking. I can’t slow down anymore; I won’t have enough power to get up the hill. I have to keep going.”
“They should have overtaken you! I don’t understand why they didn’t! You had to do something wrong!” — George continued shouting at me
Yes, of course, it was my fault the trucks didn’t overtake me! Men are such interesting creatures. When things don’t go as they expect them to, it’s the woman’s fault!
“I will pull over at the next stopping bay and let them go”, — I said calmly to George
“But the next stopping bay is 10km away!” — he continues whinging, agitated
“Do you have a better idea?” — I asked him, trying to keep my composure
Of course, he didn’t. And it was when a truck came from opposite direction causing wind-gust which folded my mirror.
“Wonderful! And now you can’t see anything! You won’t even see if the truck is pulling out to overtake you! You won’t know at all what the trucks are up to!” — George screamed at me, but this time I had enough, and I got pretty short with him
“George, I know the situation is quite bad. I don’t need you to tell me this! So, keep quiet unless you have a better solution”.
This worked magic! Now the six years old Gorge felt offended and decided not to talk to me at all. What a blessing! The rest of the journey was peaceful and quiet — even the kids at the back stopped fighting. Wonderful!
At the Caravan Park
We arrived at the caravan park, and it turned out that they had a power failure. It wouldn’t be a big deal because I had batteries and gas, so all good, except… George was still cranky with me.
I was bursting and needed to run to the loo, so I asked George if he could park the van. I knew that if the home on wheels weren’t parked perfectly level, George would complain all the time. Nonetheless, George replied, “No, you can do it yourself!”.
I couldn’t leave the vehicle at the reception, so I had to drive it to the site and first ‘just park it’ and run to the loo. When I returned, I started the car and tried my best to park the caravan as levelly as possible. In the beginning, George was just sitting in the car, not talking to me. But, in the end, when he noticed that I managed to park it anyway, he decided to be of some help and even connected a couple of hoses.
It was a pity I couldn’t open the awning, but it was too windy, and I didn’t have anti-flappers… Oh well, it didn’t matter; the awning wasn’t necessary. It was cloudy and cool anyway so that we could enjoy the evening.
Even Jeffrey was enjoying the trip. During the day, he was in his cage outside on a camping table and overnight inside on the dining table. He also got a little free time out of the cage to stretch his tiny wings and fly.
It was a bit squeezy in the caravan with two people, a dog and a parrot, but… The animals definitely were fun — I loved having them with me.
Note: This story was originally written in November 2020 and published on my personal blog.
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