Cantankerous: My Dear Agatha Cranky Pants

Looking Beyond Difficult Personalities

My Dear Agatha Crankypants

At every HOA pool party, she’s the cantankerous one Who desperately tries to make friends for fun But poking everyone with her porcupine prickly personality She’s just creatively cantankerously unpredictable.

Agatha wants to join in all the gossipy watery games But no one wants to know her real name They can’t see past her argumentative hostility She’s just creatively cantankerously unpredictable.

She longs to be part of the cliquey in-crowd But her nasal-born sharp tongue is too loud Agatha’s joking, not trying to be difficult, you see She’s just creatively cantankerously unpredictable.

At church, she’s like a peacock strutting around with such pride Agatha’s colorful fashions, designed to disguise what she can’t easily hide But sitting behind her big hats not everyone wants to be She’s just creatively cantankerously unpredictable.

No matter where she roams, her feathers bright, her colors bold Agatha pretends she’s worth her bangled weight in Bohemian gold But some find her gypsy-like visually way too much to see She’s just creatively cantankerously unpredictable.

Now Agatha Crankypants secretly longs to be back on center stage Not all find her faded beauty queen looks without envious rage She’s forever in crippled pain, not trying to be disagreeable, you see She’s just creatively cantankerously unpredictable.

With family so important, she hovers over them with loving care Hosting an only son’s family epic dinners she insists to prepare Her criticism of her daughter-in-law in the kitchen comes shockingly too easy She’s just creatively cantankerously unpredictable.

A bargain shopaholic coupon armed, she barges in stores with great force Agatha plowing the stores leaving a trail of chaos some clerks will endorse But her haggling over discounts with every clerk also comes to easily She’s just creatively cantankerously unpredictable.

She’s not trying to be a bargain-hunting bulldozer of shopping pain It’s just her way to get ahead of ever-increasing inflationary gain On a strict boomer budget, Agatha’s not as bad as she seems to be She’s just creatively cantankerously unpredictable.

At home, she paints each room with a revolving blank canvas delight That’s where Agatha’s colorful creativity really takes tasteful flight But she’s never quite satisfied with all works-in-progress you see She’s just creatively cantankerously unpredictable.

Agatha searches for the latest DIY trending inspiration to do To find a way to make her dream of home perfection true But her decorative vision changes ever so constantly She’s just creatively cantankerously unpredictable.

People float in and out of her spicy jalapeno pepper life, in mild salsa bowls Her personality makes her the life of any party, that’s just how she rolls Agatha’s table is always full of mouthwatering expert chef-popular zest She’s just creatively cantankerously unpredictable.

The other hungry wolverine HOA ladies circle her like predators at night Waiting for perfect backstabbing after-party gossip-filled online bite Driven by envy of all that she’s achieved, but at a price, they can’t see She’s just creatively cantankerously unpredictable.

Agatha’s not being an attention-getting possible husband stealing threat Joking with the menfolk, laughing over life’s absurdities, just her way to forget She’s not as bad as the attention-starved green-eyed wives all seem to be She’s just creatively cantankerously unpredictable.

Agatha is like a unique agate blue gemstone, rare and bright Her husband of forty years doesn’t always see her in that brilliant light But despite groaning and complaining, sees her value, through and through She’s just creatively cantankerously unpredictable.

Those of us who love her moody deeds admits she has rough edges, it’s true But we also all see her human worth, a pure at heart through and through We understand her hidden life of physical and PTSD pain, oh so deep She’s just creatively cantankerously unpredictable. — Jerilee Wei © 2023

One of my dear friends is like a Cholla cactus, prickly and jumpy on the outside, but soft and sweet on the inside. Once you get past the barbed thorns, you’ll find the most loyal loving friend you could ever ask for. Yes, she’s creatively cantankerously unpredictable, but that’s part of her bipolar charm.

Disfigured, disabled, in constant physical back pain, and suffering from PTSD, her cranky pants moody personality is rooted in those realities. Love people for who they are and know their story before you judge.” Jerilee Wei © 2023