Cancer Gifts The Opportunity To Refresh Who You Think You Are

Cancer is life-changing if you allow it. Here’s how to embrace the new you

Living with the label of breast cancer is extremely confrontational. Initially, upon diagnosis, you have to work through the fear of dying earlier than you expected. You work through those fears and make decisions about treatment. Then you’re faced with fears about treatment and work through those too.

As treatment continues, you find yourself working through a layer of shame, blame and guilt as to how you ended up with cancer in the first place. You work through a truckload of everyone’s pity and sympathy.

The result of all of this is to detach and go within yourself. Often it’s the only way you can cope physically, mentally or emotionally. This is the journey of the cancer chapter. This is a time of potential profound self-exploration if you choose to take it. This is the rocketship ride of a lifetime, back to you.

What I have found, from my own personal experience is that no one talks about cancer as a possible gift.

Using reflective processes with my medical team and friends, I have learnt something quite significant as my own treatment has progressed. I have learnt I am no longer the same person I was before diagnosis.

I am now much more grounded into myself. By this I mean I am very sure of who I am, what my dream life looks like — because I am now living it, rather than dreaming about it.

I now have an extremely strong sense of what my soul purpose in life is. The clarity is now crystal clear. This is a gift, to have your life meaning defined so strongly.

I have always been motivated to help others, to be of service. My reflections have shown me that I burnt out trying to be something for everyone else, rather than simply being myself.

What cancer experience has gifted me is the realisation that I can be of service to others unconditionally, by sharing with you what I’ve learnt. This lesson sharing isn’t what I’ve learnt about myself per se, for that is my lesson. The realisation is that many don’t know how to self explore.

My soul purpose is to love self, and then show you how to do that too. To love your ‘self’. My cancer experience has shown me that I have incredible resilience and a positive mindset that supports me to overcome pretty much anything. I would be wasting my cancer experience by not sharing how I’ve done it, with you.

I recently sat in a psychology lecture as part of my oncology rehabilitation program. The psychologist invited us to talk openly about our emotions of the experience of cancer.

I am fundamentally still me

I still love, laugh (a lot). I still love to cook in my huge kitchen and entertain my girl posse. There are obvious physical changes, of course.

I kinda look the same, and I am learning to celebrate a new shape. However, I’m more grounded. I observe more these days. I allow myself to commune with spirit daily through a gorgeous reiki based meditation. I self love more than regularly. Self-ceremony is now an everyday fact, whereby I pay homage to the vessel that enables my life to continue.

I can stand up straight and proud.

Prior to surgery, I spent a lifetime hiding behind huge breasts. Constantly self-conscious to the point that my entire wardrobe enabled me to hide from the world. No one would ever have believed how big I was because I never was able to wear clothes which fit properly.

You see my body was like the mixed can of beans and spaghetti. Huge tits, Dolly Parton teeny tiny waist, hips to hang onto and an arse that Kim Kardashian would envy. But it didn’t stop there. I have thunder thighs that rub together. I have short stocky legs that aren’t flattered by skirts. I have the tuck shop swinging arm hang.

My breast cancer chapter taught me that I looked at my body and judged myself. That negative action weighed me down physically. There is only acceptance these days.

Surgery, even though it was brutal at the time, gifted me an incredible physical change. I now have motorboat boobies. Perky C cups that fit into everything. T-shirts, bathers, dresses. Everything. You can’t imagine how liberating that is to wear anything you want!

For the first time in my life, I can purchase clothes off the rack and know they will fit everywhere. My bust, my arms, my waist are now all normal. I can now walk physically with my shoulders back, and my boobs arrive at the same time I do, not five minutes beforehand!

I am no longer self-conscious about my gait. I am proud to stand straight and tall with my shoulders back, and boobs pointed out. I can’t begin to explain the shift in my personal confidence. For those who know me well, that close circle of friends all note now how I sit up straight. I no longer slouch. There is no more hiding from the world.

I can now move my body

I received clearance from my plastic surgeon last week to be as physical as I want. I told him, that I was going to run. He was wrapt. And I am too but for different reasons.

As a child and teen, I was a sprinter. But I as grew, my boobs did too. They got so large that I wasn’t capable of running any distance without significant pain — even with two sports bras.

The gift of a mastectomy and reconstruction has meant that I’ve lost nearly four kilos off my chest. My gait is now evenly distributing torque throughout my body, and I am now learning to run! Up until the surgical clearance I’ve been doing a lot of low impact cardio.

I have been celebrating the small changes to my shape and newfound abilities. There are no longer speed wobbles within various parts of my body. Cancer has gifted me the incentive to approach menopause with a dedication to fitness and long term health.

I have the mindset that cancer does not define me.

Cancer is literally proving to be an enormous chapter in my life. It’s been a gift to provide lessons about myself. It’s given the excuse to spring clean areas of my life that I would otherwise have merely tolerated and continued.

I love all over myself

My self-care regime is thorough and regular. I now mother myself on all levels. I am mindful of my inner dialogue and self-talk, taking opportunities to reframe anything negative into positive.

I embrace whatever arises

I embrace any emotional wound that opens because I surrender to ordinary thinking. I actively work on the parts which don’t resonate in joy. I explore whatever triggers arise, and allow myself to reflect and release. I constantly acknowledge and release expectations, and allow myself to explore what they were associated with.

Without a breast cancer chapter, I’d still be rushing about filling my life with all the stuff and continuing to ignore myself.

Cancer allows you to take a legitimate time out from your life and completely overhaul it.

I’ve not worked for almost nine months. This is a completely foreign concept for me, given I’ve overworked my entire adult life. I’ve always given 150% in terms of effort. This pursuit has cost me dearly in terms of the stress I have put my body through. And it’s only just recently that I’ve started contemplating returning slowly after a well deserved long service leave break.

During this time, I’ve let go of truckloads of anger. I’ve acknowledged situations for what they are — lessons. The resultant feeling is lightness. I literally feel happy, most of the time.

Final moments until next time

Unless you’re hit by a bus and killed instantly, thanks to breast cancer I have learnt that there isn’t anything in this world that is insurmountable. The trick is how you choose to look at the mountain to be climbed. The trick is gifting yourself enough love and willingness to look within, and answer the unanswered questions that prevent you from climbing that mountain.

Use the growth process to let go of anything which holds you down, or keeps you back from reaching your full potential. Allow yourself to become vulnerable to the hidden parts of self so that you can find your hidden treasure and all the tools you need to undertake the climb of your life!

Karen Humphries is a Kinesiology Practitioner, Health & Business Coach, self-confessed laughaholic, and now Breast Cancer Advocate residing in Gippsland Victoria Australia. She loves being of service to the world with her humorous and positive approach to life, encouraging people to ‘choose to change and bloom from within.’ Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, and Linkedin.