Cancer and Aging Strengthened My Relationship with Mom

We used similar approaches to combat our challenges

My Mom is 83 years old.

A few years ago, I could tell her mental acuity and energy levels were beginning to wane. Perhaps not surprising, but I decided we needed to stop the degeneration while we could.

I started to play cards with her in the evening after dinner most nights.

When my father was alive, they’d do that every night. His father and mother had done that as well, so it’s a family tradition. I also started to ask her to share stories more often. This gave me lovely insights into my family history, and I wished I had done this sooner, when my father was still alive.

Then in 2021, I was diagnosed with brain cancer. I was given 6 months to live. I was told the last few weeks I’d need hospice care.

I was forced to regroup.

Instead of taking care of my Mom, I would need a lot more help from her.

I felt guilty asking her, but she came through like a trooper.

I was also able to use the therapies I researched for myself to help her.

I looked into neurotropics and came across methylene blue, which Mom and I now take daily. Research has shown this helps fight conditions such as dementia. It also has helped me with the brain damage cancer caused.

To make it more palatable so Mom will take it, I used orange or raspberry flavored Emergen-C, which has 1000 mg of vitamin C per packet along with B vitamins. We mix it with water and then add the methylene blue and mix it well. The vitamin C seems to eliminate the blue color.

Since taking this, I’ve noticed a gradual but definite improvement in our mental abilities.

In addition to taking supplements, I also exercise every day. The research indicates that regular exercise is one of the best ways to avoid recurrence of cancer. It’s also great for keeping you physically and mentally healthy.

I figured if it would help me, it would probably also help her. After she had a fall recently and couldn’t get up, I encouraged her to join me in my daily workouts.

At first I had to cajole her. But she quickly realized that it made her feel good, and one day when I asked her to exercise with me, she proudly told me — “I already did my exericise today! I did 15 minutes!” That was 5 minutes more than she had been doing!

That may not seem like much, but she started off at just 5 minutes. I think it’s important for her to gradually increase the time so she can continue to feel a sense of accomplishment and gain strength without injuring herself.

We also do gentle stretches together and a few exercises with light weights.

Finally, Mom and I now work as more of a team when it comes to daily chores.

I need a lot more help. At first I was reluctant to ask for it, but doing more seems to have rejuvenated her.

She now does our laundry and helps me with various chores. On days I am too tired to cook healthy meals she will make me an omelette or make extra helpings of her delicious vegetarian food. On days I have the energy to cook, she’ll still chop veggies for me so I don’t exhaust myself. This lets me get the rest I need while still doing as much as I can.

When I make vegetarian meals, I try to cook dishes that she will also enjoy, allowing me to share my efforts with her. She loves my ratatouille, my veggie soups, and my Thai curries.

While at first it made me feel guilty to ask for her help, I eventually realized — she loved to do so. She seemed to get younger the more she did for me.

It wasn’t because she wanted me to be weak, but rather that she wanted to be useful again. She felt stronger and better when she was contributing. She knew she was needed. And this made all the difference in the world.

Our relationship has only improved.

There is a saying among soldiers that the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. This refers to the bonds forged when hardships are faced together. While Mom and I share familial bonds, going through the battle of cancer has drawn us to new levels of intimacy.

While I hate that I got cancer, I will forever be grateful for my deeper relationship with my mother.

I am fighting stage IV cancer. If you can help with medical bills, I would really appreciate it. Or if you enjoy my writing and would like to buy me a cup of coffee, that’s great too. Maybe someday I can return the favor.

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