Canceling My Father — The Ultimate Expression of Empathy

And the kindest thing I could do for his tortured soul

I often think about forgiveness. Thank you Patrick Paul Garlinger for yesterday’s story, Are You Ready to Elevate Your Chakra Healing? Forgiveness offers a deeper path to wholeness, and your earlier work, prompted, as you so note, by my favorite muse-to-the-spiritual-masses, 𝘋𝘪𝘢𝘯𝘢 𝘊., Why Forgiveness Is Your Superpower, It’s your power to rewrite the past.

I too had a complicated and often painful relationship with my father. I agree with and relate to everything you have said with respect to forgiveness. I think our readers will benefit from me making express one subtle point on forgiveness which I read as implied in your work.

Forgiveness does not include nor require reconciliation.

My mother will never understand this — her blindness-to-the-light-that-is-me-codependency on the man, whose semen fertilized the egg that Marcus’ soul energy sparked towards our development, runs deeper than the deepest part of the Mariana Trench, appropriately named the Challenger Deep. Neither likely will the middle-child-sister of the three of me, Randi and Wendy, though she has the potential to surprise me if she becomes self-aware of and sheds her narcissistic flea of lack of empathy.

Thinking of my baby sister as I write this brings tears to my eyes. She has chosen the path of co-existence within the family framework, and in order to do this sought the assistance of some method called Hoffman, which purports to get one in touch with their core, but in my view, actually erects a boundary between the heart and the soul. She seems lost to know what I need / want from her, which is nothing but lost connection regained (flood gates).

Wendy is an empath extraordinaire. Hoffman extinguished that light as a mechanism to cope with the deranged covert narcissist. How do I know of her powers that she herself denies? These pictures speak thousands of words:

Look at the alignment of our expressions and body language, particularly our hands. The empathic phenomenon of mutual energy reading/transference is unmistakable. Her blank face in the bottom picture sees through my forced smile. (It saddens me too to read Randi in the upper picture on the outside and wanting in).

Let’s explore the Challenger Deep metaphor a little further before surfacing.

The Mariana Trench in the Pacific Ocean is so deep your bones would literally dissolve. What’s down there in its black, crushing depths?

According to National Geographic, if you were to put Mount Everest at the bottom of the Mariana Trench, its peak would still sit around 7,000 feet below sea level.

James Cameron explored the Challenger Deep in a one-man submersible and discovered that bacteria and small invertebrates “make a life for themselves” at the bottom of the trench.

[pregnant pause — a pause that is not empty — it is fertile ground for reflection]

When a soul so completely fucks up its previous lifecycle its penance is to come back to earth for the sole purpose of living the entire lifecycle in agony. My father’s soul needed to live a throw-away life to pay whatever karmic debt he previously amassed, and I needed a torturer for this lifecycle’s lesson-plan, so we were a match made in heaven.

Hell on Earth

Rather than do the best he could by me given his narcissism, my father purposely sought to psychologically bury me due to his borderline-personality-fear-of-abandonment, which manifests as perverse jealousy of the love between me and my mother, possibly exacerbated by his own unresolved oedipal complex.

How is being given free rein to be a diabolical asshole punishment? The answer occurred to me just the other day. It is widely accepted that to varying degrees narcissists lack empathy. Empathy is one way in which a soul can communicate with the consciousness in which it has incarnated. I realized that by incarnating in a person devoid of empathy, the soul has no control over the human. The soul’s punishment is to live an entire lifecycle watching itself live without an ounce of spirituality and with no ability to do anything about it. The soul has a conscience, so as one bad act after another is committed by its human, the agony builds and builds waiting for death to release it. Hell on earth.

This realization brought me back to a text-versation I had with my father late this past Spring, wherein I was doing the worst one can do to a narcissist — relentlessly exposing him. He kept denying and digging his heels in deeper and then, for a moment, I read the energy of an entirely different entity. This entity calmly and with sadness asked me to leave him alone. I realized at that moment that my torture had lead to the momentary emergence of my dad’s soul, pleading with me to stop. I did, and his soul retreated to his prison inside the subconscious of a monster.

So, canceling my father was an unintended act of spiritual kindness on my part, as by completely cutting the cord, at least his soul no longer has to witness me being tortured and has the solace of knowing that I now stand as a man, tall on my own two feet. Life-lesson’s mission accomplished. Thank you Bob [the generic name that my channeler chose the other day for David’s soul].

I Rama I create,

Marcus