Can You Stay Good Friends With Your Ex When They’ve Broken up With You?
The jury’s out
Your partner instigates a breakup, and even though you don’t want to part, they ask if you can stay friends, which consoles you. But should you remain pals? The jury’s out, and according to psychologists, the reason you want to keep in touch makes all the difference.
Why ex-couples stay friends
•Security
•Courtesy
•Practical reasons
•Unresolved petition
You’ve shared many experiences, including giving each other support, consolation, and inspiration. It makes sense to keep these positive experiences flowing. Friendship takes time to build, and you’ve already put foundations in place.
You might also share resources like a house, car, or a vacation home, and perhaps you have children or pets. Maintaining a friendly relationship makes dealing with issues like childcare and shared property management easier. These are sound reasons to cultivate an amicable connection.
Your ex-partner wants to show respect for you and staying friends denotes civility. If you’re still attracted to them, or in love though, your friendship might not work.
Holding a torch
Remaining friends with your ex is a demotion if you harbor romantic feelings. You get less than you want and seeing them is a reminder they don’t value you as much anymore.
You’ll hope to be a happy couple again, and see each time you laugh, share a good experience, or give and receive support as a sign your relationship is on the mend.
Unless your ex feels the same (which they’ve made it clear they don’t) sadness and rejection will follow.
If you no longer have a romantic interest though…
If you’re not angry with, attracted to, or in love with your ex-partner, there’s a good chance you can enjoy a healthy friendship.
Unresolved feelings are a problem if you hope to stay friends with your ex. Unsettled motions will rise, despite good intentions, and you’ll feel devalued and rejected. If you’ve worked through difficulties, however, and grown apart in a romantic sense, you might keep a happy, healthy connection.
Copyright © 2020 Bridget Webber. All rights reserved
