avatarPaul Coogan

Summary

The article critiques and revises Medium headlines to improve their effectiveness in attracting readers.

Abstract

The author, addressing fellow writers, expresses concern over the quality of titles on Medium, particularly in the "Recommended For You" section. They argue that verbose or poorly constructed titles can deter readers, even if the content itself is engaging. The article provides a critique of 25 suggested headlines, offering edited versions that aim to be more concise, engaging, and free of unnecessary phrases. The author emphasizes the importance of a good title in capturing reader interest and suggests that brevity and clarity are key components of successful headline writing. The critique includes examples of overused phrases, redundant words, and the misuse of "that," while also highlighting titles that effectively pique curiosity.

Opinions

  • The author believes that bad titles are detrimental to the reading experience and potentially harmful to writers' reach and earnings on Medium.
  • They suggest that a verbose title is indicative of verbose content, which may not be appealing to readers.
  • The use of "that" in titles is often unnecessary and can clutter the message.
  • Titles should evoke curiosity without relying on overused phrases like "how" or "why" at the beginning.
  • The author advocates for the use of more descriptive and engaging language in titles, even providing alternative phrases to improve them.
  • Some titles are deemed acceptable as they stand, demonstrating effective use of language and structure.
  • The author has a preference for concise titles that convey the essence of the story without unnecessary embellishments.
  • They also point out the importance of context and the potential for a title to set the right expectations for the content that follows.
  • The article concludes with a nod to the value of brevity in writing, not just in titles but also in fiction, to engage the reader's imagination.

Wordsmithing

Can We Talk Titles?

We can do better by applying the basics

Photo by Produtora Midtrack from Pexels

Greetings fellow writers. I will start by saying I have found some great content here. Well written, good spelling and grammar, openly honest, thoroughly engaging, but that is not why I called you into my office today.

Bad titles are killing my Medium experience and probably hurting your bottom line as well. The headlines on my “Following” list are good but not representative of the majority on Medium since these writers were hand-selected.

The “Recommended For You” list has low-quality titles I find hard to get past even if the subject matter sounds interesting. A verbose title indicates to me a collection of redundant and pedantic paragraphs. A rambling story with perhaps some asides laced in as an afterthought, like that time I was hit by a Muni bus in San Francisco. A window smashed by accident showered me with glass; I jumped off the sidewalk to get out of the way… into the path of the oncoming bus. Interesting? Maybe, but not what you signed up for.

Back to the titles. I am critiquing 25 headlines suggested to me by Medium. It is just the list presented to me and I have not read any of the stories to keep my analysis purely focused on the crafting in terms of attracting a reader. I wish to thank the anonymous authors and unwitting donors who will not be named. They are not the subject of this post, which is to demonstrate what goes into a good title.

Photo by Pavel Danilyuk from Pexels

The White Privilege Jewish People Have Kind of Proves Whoopi’s Point

Edited: Jewish White Privilege Proves Whoopi’s Point

The word “have” points back to the beginning of the sentence making the eye back up and then jump forward again to finish. Also, leave out the milk toast “kind of”. After all, this story is probably kind of inflammatory, and the author should kind of take a stand.

Why Thomas Edison Required Job Applicants To Eat Soup In Front Of Him

Edited: Edison Required Job Applicants to Eat Soup in Front of Him

I don’t quite understand the attraction of adding “why” at the front of a title. I can pretty much assume you are going to tell me why and I find my curiosity is heightened when the title does not say bluntly “why”. Perhaps I want to know how, what, or even when.

That Time I Got Harassed for Seven Minutes for Not Laughing at a Comedian’s Rape Joke or “What Would Margaret Cho Do?”

Edited: I Was Harassed by a Comedian for Not Laughing About Rape

This one is so long Medium chopped it off like a sausage at the meat counter. The break into ellipses changes depending on the browser or device used to read them. I had to open the story to get the whole title.

Joe Rogan’s Apology May be Sincere, But That’s Not the Point

Edited: Joe Rogan’s Apology May be Sincere, But Misses the Point

Almost there, but then missed the point in the second clause. Why invert the wording with a “not” and clutter the ending with the notorious “that”?

Don’t Believe The “I Only Publish One Article Per Week” Hype

Edited: Don’t Believe The “I Only Publish One Article Per Week” Hype

This one is fine the way it is though the content is perhaps over published on Medium, so is the bragging about income.

Hello, Again?

This one is not a title. The story does not have one, so Medium picks up the first sentence and uses that as the title. It almost works in this case because of the mystery. Search for “Hello Again”, and you will find uses ranging from letters to lyrics.

It Is Time to Accept That We Have Reached The End

Edited: Time to Accept We Have Reached the End

Oddly, we use Grammarly and other tools to ensure we don’t have extra bits hanging onto our sentences like a hobo riding the rails but then the poor title is saddled with “It is…” or “When it…”. Less is more, so shove off you freeloading phrase.

The Weirdest Conversation

A bit lacking in context but with a good subtitle, or even a kicker I might explore this personal story. Points for brevity while retaining curiosity.

How America is Getting Stupider

Rip it out and start over. The “how” is useless as well as limiting (see Edison above). America is more than the U.S. and we see too much of this simple moniker. Lastly, even though stupider is a real work it just sounds stupid and reflects on the writer. Try one of these: ignorant, brainless, dull-witted, simpleminded, empty-headed, vacuous, vapid, half-witted, idiotic, moronic, imbecilic, doltish, pea-brained, pig-ignorant, boneheaded, dunderheaded, or my favorite and perhaps a bit Britsh, thick as two short planks.

Quitting Facebook Changed My Life

A straight-up good title. I know what the story is about and yet am also curious as to what happened, how it was done, and why.

End-Stage Capitalist Companies Are Pissed That You Won’t Pay Their Employees

Edited: End-Stage Capitalist Companies are Pissed You Won’t Pay Their Employees

Argh, “that” again. An odd mix of formal definition with the more informal “pissed”. I am more curious about what an End-Stage Capitalist Company is and how that differs from your run-of-the-mill company. Also, are there companies that are not capitalist? Now I’m mired in the title and too exhausted to read the story.

I Got Lost at Scientology Headquarters. It Was Even Weirder Than I Expected.

Edited: I Got Lost at Scientology Headquarters. It Was Weirder Than I Expected.

This one is flexible. I have removed “Even” as is my penchant for contraction but the title is perfectly fine with it. This two-part title is interesting since the first sentence can stand on its own and could be used where there is not much space on the page. The second part sets us up for a rollercoaster ride. Good job!

At 69, I’m Changing Sides

I like this one. Short and to the point and it might not be a political post at all, though knowing my feed, it probably is.

In Defense of Whoopi Goldberg

Clear and concise. I am now expecting the opening statements of counsel for the defense. Please swear in your witness and you had better cite or I’ll hold you in contempt.

Asking This Question Should Be Illegal

Edited: *

Meh, clickbait. How many headlines shout something should be illegal only to reveal a life hack on how to get the extended warranty on your mortgage refi by paying in crypto.

When David Perlmutter’s Highlights Are the Highlight of Your Day

Normally I don’t like opening with “when” but this peppy, hip usage gives a clue to the comedic content about to be revealed.

Writer Bios That Attract Hundreds of New Readers Work Like This

Edited: Writer Bios That Attract Hundreds of New Readers

One of the rare cases where “that” is appropriate but doesn’t sell past the close.

I Got Married (Finally)

Wonderful! Good for you! Concise and expressive. The parenthetical tells us this otherwise mundane statement has a story behind it.

4.8k Views but Only $8.5…

Edited: 4,800 Views Won’t Buy Bus Fare to Fresno.

Nix the ellipses. On the web, we assume truncation, not an invitation. I was puzzled by the eight-point five as well, I almost expected it to be 8.5K like the number at the start. There are so many ways to say you are short on dough, lacking cheddar, needing a few clams, or looking to scrape up some simoleans. Sorry, Fresno, I would have picked on Turlock but you own the brand.

Sanctimonious Outrage is the Hottest New Band

Noice. Rock on. Even the case usage is spot on.

I Signed Up for Simily Because FOMO

Cheer up, not all choices are bad, this title for instance.

I Don’t Know What’s Going On But The Kids I Bullied In Middle School Are Pumped

Edited: What’s Going on? The Kids I Bullied in School are Pumped

Using Cap Case On Every Word Makes It Hard To Read. Now give me the lunch money you made on this story or I’ll stuff you in a locker.

The Embarrassing Secrets Behind Trump’s Efforts To Keep His Papers Hidden

Edited: Embarrassing Secrets of Trump’s Paper Hiding

*Sigh* Lose the “the”. This is another self-referential title where “His” sends us back to Trump; perish the thought.

Confessions of an Eastern European Living in the Western Wonderland

Ooh, nice alliterations. Plus something is intriguing about the Confessions of an Eastern European. This could go dark or culture clash hilarious. I’m in!

Brevity is the soul of humor

Brevity also leaves more to the imagination of the reader, something that is harped on in writing fiction. In nearly every case presented here, I have sucked out words or rearranged for flow. The reader is scanning a list and if the concept does not parse in milliseconds the click will not follow.

Writing Tips
Title
Editing
Medium
Brevity
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