Can we Have a Talk About the Lack of Black Allies?

"You're treating me like a Black person!"

If you're a Black American, you've definitely heard the phrase, "Black people have no allies." Nevertheless, the global support of the Black Lives Matter/George Floyd protests may have convinced you otherwise. Anyway, after all that marching, shouting, looting, and rioting, the substantial changes amounted to a bunch of murals, street art, broken windows, and broken promises.

And before you start, yes, I vividly recall the allegations against certain members of the BLM organization. Many people have used that to justify pulling their "support" from BLM and the Black community altogether. To that, I have a few things to say:

• BLM does not represent the entire Black community: One movement could never represent or fully encompass the Black community. BLM created an irrefutable mantra for anyone who values the human collective — Black lives matter. Many of us used the phrase independently of the organization, and leaders within the organization were by no means elected officials of the Black collective. They created one of the most recognized Black organizations in this country, but they are by no means the only one.
• BLM was "hijacked": BLM as we know it is not what it once was. Some of the original leaders left the movement before it went mainstream. For instance, Rashad Anthony Turner, a prominent leader of the movement up until 2016, quit the organization after questioning the movement's integrity and where it was headed. Some also assert the democratic party hijacked the movement in an attempt to dilute its original message. No matter what theory you subscribe to, the commercialization of this movement does not seem to be done in the interest of the Black community — that's absolutely no shade to existing members.
• Money is always funny: No matter which non-profit organization you point to, a considerable amount of money is used for things outside of the stated cause. This is partially because it takes money to run an organization; those who think 100% of donated funds go directly to those affected by the stated cause are delusional, respectfully. Also, because there is so much "free money" circulating, corruption is always possible. For instance, there have been countless allegations against the Red Cross for the gross mismanagement of funds over the years. So, while I'm not necessarily defending any actual fraud that may or may not have taken place within BLM, I do want to point out that the only reason people care is that, this time, it would benefit Black people. I've heard both sides of that argument and even sat in virtual spaces where we could ask specific BLM leaders questions. To me, it sounds like they managed their funds the same way most American organizations have. I'll just leave it at that…

Some history on me…

And before I get into what specifically made me broach this topic, I also want to say although I am indeed a loud and proud Black American woman, this was not always the case. Simply existing as a Black person in America is a very layered and nuanced experience. So, although I have grown to a place where I love my skin and culture, there were times when I found the concept of Blackness confusing.

Notably, as a hyperlexic person who has always been "well-spoken," I've had similar experiences to many other intellectuals in the community. Yes, I was told I "talked white," "tried too hard to sound smart," and many other ridiculous things.

And honestly, I hardly paid race any attention until I was at least ten years old — my first babysitter was an older White woman who smoked like a Chimney and had a million cats; my first best friend was a rambunctious White boy who lived next door— we used to make mud pies and get into all types of innocently mischievous things. After that, I was total besties with another Black girl. We met in school and were in Girl Scouts together — our mothers were the Troop Leaders, and we traveled and had all types of fun for years. I had another best friend in the first grade; she was a Vietnamese girl who I met at school. I also became great friends with a Puerto Rican girl until she moved away. After that, I had three great Jamaican friends — two girls and one boy- but they also moved away. (If any of you are reading this, shout all to y’all and hit me up!) I said all that to say I’m not at all from a family that dictated who I dealt with based solely on race or ethnicity.

Although I loved all my friends, those friendships were more based on proximity than anything. As I got older, I continued to have friends of all races and cultures, but from age 9–25, my closest friends were all female and Black. So, I'm not trying to give y'all the whole "I don't see color" BS speech. Instead, I'm simply explaining that I never even thought about race when life was simpler. But once I became more cognizant of race and womanhood, I started to realize how important it is to have friends who relate on a deeper level. This resulted in consciously choosing the Blackest spaces I could find — even if those spaces harshly judged my eccentricities and intellect and even if my family forbade me from frequenting some of them.

Nevertheless, I want to be clear that this also isn't some "woe is me" monologue. Yes, despite being 100% Black, I was considered too "White" for many Black spaces and was undoubtedly not fully welcomed in White or any other space.

However, not having that safe space forced me to be comfortable relying solely on my thoughts and opinions above all else. It helped me find my voice early in life. And although I certainly lost it along the way, I eventually reclaimed it with a vengeance. So, I'll sum this portion up by saying, as I already have — My Black American experience has been very layered and nuanced. I don't have the same view of being Black in America as many others, and I make no apologies for that.

A word about the lack of allies

That brings me to why we're here. I delved into my own history because once I learned more about societal and institutional racism, it dawned on me that many people outside of the Black community had been well aware of how it worked and were passive or even active participants.

For instance, I remember hanging around one of my Puerto Rican friends, and while I always understood Spanish to some degree, I wasn't (and still am not) as fluent as I'd like to be. Either way, I and another Black friend were at her house. One of her aunts came in and started talking. While I didn't know what she said, I could definitely tell she was talking about us. So, when she left the room, I asked what she said. This is when my friend responded and told us,

Oh nothing. She just said y’all were pretty to be Black girls.

I could remember feeling internally offended by the racist, colorist, back-handed compliment but not having the words to verbalize my disgust. So, I just smiled, said thank you, and moved on.

Over the years, plenty of such instances made me realize that while many people "had Black friends," many also believed we were somehow beneath them. I've learned that many cultures have secret derogatory names for Black Americans, specifically, but will befriend us, work with us, and even invite us to their homes. If they have these attitudes even towards their “friends,” how do you think these prejudices play out in our daily lives?

Having said that, let's get into the real reason why we're here.

This video:

In this video, a White woman is appalled that she's being held accountable for her own crimes. But rather than simply accepting her fate, she went into Karen mode and pointed out that she was not some Black kid on a bike in the "wrong neighborhood" and how she was being treated like a "colored person" while also screaming out the value of her home.

Now, I'm sure a great many of you remember how controversial the whole Colin Kaepernick kneeling protest was — the man essentially got blackballed from the NFL for daring to shine a light on police brutality against Black people. I'm sure many of you also remember the white-washed version of BLM — all lives matter. Because, again, many non-Black people pretended not to know or understand how institutional racism plays a factor in the treatment of Black people in this country. And they actually pretended to be offended that our voices were seemingly being heard for once.

But the truth comes out in times of trouble. So, here we have a White criminal who is trying to appeal to the police officer to stick to the unspoken code, which ensures that she will always be on a higher level than her Black counterparts and her mistakes are a result of being human, unlike what is often assumed about Black people.

And as it turns out, this is not the only viral video of this kind. Another video features a doctor named Jeffrey Epstein (Chile, you can't make this stuff up!), who was arrested for causing a disturbance at an airport and later tried to claim that he only did it to prove a point.

Either way, I find it highly disturbing that Black people are constantly gaslit over the existence of racism, but once they feel their privilege is not protecting them, it's time to mention how Black people are treated. In other words, they readily acknowledge racism when it benefits them but not when it can help the Black collective. Chillllleeee….

Isn't it funny how other races are silent or even try to actively combat Black American movements but seem to be well aware that Black people are brutalized and discriminated against? If these people really wanted an equal or even equitable society, they could create it overnight. The fact of the matter is many people enjoy having a perceived permanent underclass to punch down on. In this country, that is most certainly African Americans — If we're honest, even "Black" people from other countries come to America with a sense of entitlement and vocally protest being labeled as such. Why is that? Are there benefits to being labeled anything but Black? And if so, wouldn't so-called post-racial America be taking steps to end such issues immediately?

Of course not.

The reason I mentioned BLM extensively is that many have tried to gaslight Black people since the BLM protests by asserting that since "the whole world came together," this proves most of the world isn't racist and actually supports the Black community.

Nevertheless, the George Floyd protests served to commercialize and commoditize not only BLM but also Black allyship. This was done as a means of derailing the movement and any real progress it could have made. They made it a trend, and suddenly all anyone had to do to pretend to support the Black community was throw on a t-shirt or bumper sticker or make a TikTok video and continue their lives as usual. And, as with all trends, BLM has run its course, and many people are sick of it and everything it represents, including the fair treatment of Black people in America.

For instance, a study conducted in 2020 by Lean In and Survey Monkey asserts that while 80% of White employees believe themselves to be allies in the workplace, only 45% of Black women and 55% of Latinas believed they have strong allies in the workplace. This vast discrepancy is the present reality in America. Many people actually believe they've "done their job" to end racism and are okay with allowing things to stay as is. Read the article here.

Now, I'm not sayin'…

I'm not saying no BLM advocates had good intentions. Instead, I'm pointing out that when it comes to building/rebuilding the Black community to be a healthier, safer, more functional space, we are on our own. If not totally alone, we will undoubtedly have to be the ones to lead the way. This is actually easier said than done when our movements are often sidetracked and derailed by those with nefarious motives.

We can't ever expect any group or leader to advocate for us more than we advocate for ourselves. We can also no longer afford to accept words, phrases, and symbols in lieu of tangible actions. No matter how much we want to believe that we are loved and cherished by the world, there will always be those working against us overtly or covertly and refuse to relinquish the perceived benefits of the status quo.

As Black people, we tend to support all underprivileged demographics and simply hope they will return the favor when the time comes. But have they? Just a brief look through American history will tell you they have not. Either way, it seems that many are comfortable with injustice in society, as long as their community isn’t regularly being subjected to it.

Becky, with the bad luck, just put the hidden truth right in our faces. Per her own rant, others are allowed to make mistakes and bad decisions based on their circumstances. However, most generally accept how Black people are mistreated and brutalized at the hands of the law, no matter what the circumstances are.

Women like BWTBL are the same ones who will tell you that the institution of racism is a thing of the past while also sporting a BLM bumper sticker on their minivans. Racism is more complex than ever in America. As Black people, we must stop accepting lip service and demand action.

How do you feel about allyship in the Black community?

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