Can The Things We Love The Most Also Bring Us Sorrow?
Does a drop in views in an article make you feel sad?
One day, Lady Visakha, the chief female patron during Lord Buddha’s time, visited Lord Buddha in a sad mood and dressed in sorrowful attire. When asked about her state, she responded that one of her beloved granddaughters had passed away unexpectedly.
Then Lord Buddha inquired about the general feeling regarding having grandchildren. Lady Visakha expressed that she would wish to have grandchildren as numerous as the population of the entire city. Even such a vast number would not be enough for her, as her love for grandchildren is unlimited.
Then Lord Buddha asked, “Visakha, how many people pass away within a day in this city?”
Visakha replied, “Tathagata, on some days, we hear of the deaths of about ten individuals. Nonetheless, daily, we hear news of at least one death.”
“In that case,” Lord Buddha remarked, “if you were to have grandchildren equivalent to the population of this entire city, you would find yourself in a state of sorrow every single day.”
To this, Visakha found herself without a response. After silence, she said, “Tathagata, perhaps I do not need so many grandchildren.”
Lord Buddha further expounded, saying, “Visakha, if someone possesses hundreds of beloved things, they would have hundreds of potential sources of sadness. If someone possesses ten beloved things, they would have ten sources of potential sadness. Similarly, someone with just one beloved thing would have only one source of potential sadness. However, if someone does not have a beloved thing, they would have nothing to cause them sadness.”
At first glance, this is not something we can immediately understand, but the things we love most often bring us the most sadness. Still not convinced?
Let’s consider this. If you come to know about the death of a random person, it likely doesn’t affect you much. But if the person happens to be one of your close friends or relatives, you feel great sorrow. Moreover, if it is the death of someone within your own family, the pain becomes almost unbearable.
Does this mean that we should abandon all the things we love? This is where many of us misunderstand the point. As human beings, we haven’t yet achieved enlightenment, so it’s challenging to completely detach ourselves from the things we love. Instead, we must comprehend the nature of our beloved things
If a person is born, they will inevitably age, experience sickness, and eventually pass away. We cannot avoid this reality. If we can understand this truth, then we can prepare ourselves mentally.
Sometimes, our loved ones, dear friends, or close relations undergo changes in their thinking or behavior, which can bring us great sadness. Should we worry about this? Instead, we must understand that their minds are beyond our control.
If we had the power to control their thoughts or anything else, we would keep them aligned with our desires. However, their minds are not ours to control and are subject to change by their very nature. If we can grasp this concept, we will not suffer when others exhibit shifts in their behavior.
The same principle applies to wealth. We often put great effort into acquiring it, claiming it as “mine, mine.” However, all material wealth may be subject to theft, loss, and other unavoidable disasters. If someone never gets this reality, it becomes challenging for them to face such situations.
Let’s imagine a scenario where you receive only a few views for an article you have written diligently on Medium. It would be difficult to endure if you were accustomed to a significant number of views. You see, Medium is one of those things we hold dear, and it also has the potential to bring us sadness.
Does this mean we should not work hard to write or completely give up on Medium? No, but we can work with the awareness that even our beloved Medium can experience unfavorable circumstances.
Perhaps, someone can interpret this as a concept of negativity. Please keep in mind that this never implies any form of negativity. There is a fine line between understanding the nature of things and giving something up. So keep that also in your mind.
In conclusion, we must understand that the things we love have the potential to cause us a sorrowful event. It is a reality we cannot avoid. It is beyond our control, and the only thing we can do is understand its nature and work accordingly. By doing so, we will be better prepared when something inevitable happens.