Can Ho’Oponopono Make You Happy or is it a Hippy Hoax?

Is Ho’oponopono the key to happiness?

The ancient Hawaiian practice of Ho’oponopono is based on the belief that all problems and challenges in our lives are our responsibility. By taking responsibility for our actions and apologizing to those we have harmed, we can make amends and restore balance and harmony in our lives.

Sounds good, doesn’t it? I mean, what’s not to love?

Anyone who has hippy dipped their toes into spirituality has come across this practice. One of the appeals is that anyone can use Ho’oponopono, regardless of their religious beliefs or background.

There is a story that a Hawaiian therapist that teaches this practice, Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len, cured a ward of criminally insane patients with Ho’oponopono without even visiting them in person.

Dr. Len says that as he improved himself by repeating three phrases I love you, I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, and the patient improved. This ward hadn’t been a pleasant place to work or be incarcerated in. Psychologists quit after a month, staff called in sick, and patients had to be heavily shackled.

And yet, after a few months of Dr. Len working on himself as he held patient files, patients were allowed to walk freely, absenteeism and turnover improved, and patients that were believed to be in this facility for life were released. Today the ward is closed as it was underused.

But what is Ho’oponopono? The idea is that you work on yourself by repeating the three phrases Dr. Len repeated; I love you, I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you. These phrases are constantly repeated in any order that you fancy.

I love you

When you say this, you aren’t directing this love at any one person, although you can if you want. It’s an expression of love for yourself, others, and life.

What is so great about this statement is that, at its core, all we are in love. Love is innate and built-in at birth but is often an emotion that we bury under a heap of stressed, worried, upset, angry thoughts.

Saying, ‘I love you’ reconnects you to that feeling. We’re constantly experiencing thought at the moment, and if you think, ‘I love you, it’s difficult to feel anything other than love.

I’m sorry

Again, you aren’t directing this statement to any one person, although, again, you can if you feel that you should.

This is an expression of taking responsibility for past actions and harsh words without having to remember exact events and reliving them. You’re sorry that you’ve ever behaved in a way that wasn’t your best.

I’m sorry that you’re suffering. You have sympathy for those suffering and, at the same time, you know that this will pass and they will feel better.

Please forgive me

Forgiveness is healing. This statement is directed at all of humanity and yourself. You’re not asking for forgiveness for kicking the cat — although you should if you’ve kicked the cat — shame on you.

You’re asking for a fresh start. To be forgiven and to forgive is like starting again. A new day.

Forgiving others is often a sign that you think you’re right about something and that the other person is wrong but who made you right? Forgiving others when you feel that their wrong is freedom. But I wouldn’t say, “I forgive you” out loud as it can sound incredibly patronizing and might get you punched on the nose.

Forgiveness leads to peace of mind.

Thank you

Like the other three statements, saying thank you is healing. These words express gratitude for everything. You’re grateful for being alive.

You, like me, were probably brought up to say please and thank you, but people don’t say thank you enough. If you let a car pull out in front of you and the driver expresses thanks, you feel good about your action.

If you’re doing that two-step dance on the pavement and you move away to let the person in front of you continue, and they thank you, it probably makes you smile.

You can also thank your body regardless of how it’s working; you can thank your environment even if it isn’t where you want to be; saying thank you helps you be present to whatever you’re doing, wherever you’re doing it.

Responsibility

Ho’oponopono is all about responsibility. This is why you work on yourself rather than others.

Responsibility for your life means responsibility for everything in your life. Even the things you might not believe are your responsibility.

This includes what is happening right now and what happened in the past. Saying, I love you, I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, cleanses, clears, and heals old, unwanted memories. This might seem as unlikely as catching sight of the Loch Ness monster, but the more you repeat these phrases, the more peaceful you feel.

It isn’t that the unwanted memory disappears, but you can see that your experience of the memory comes from your thinking about the memory, and whatever happened in the past isn’t happening now. You have created the feeling via thought; therefore, this is your responsibility.

It’s your memory to clean and heal.

I see how all this might sound a bit too whacky for most people. This isn’t the Law of Attraction or manifesting; I have nothing against attraction, but you try sitting on your sofa and manifest a pizza? This is more about taking responsibility for your life and what you bring into your life.

Maybe the best part about Ho’oponopono is that it’s simple to use. There are no complicated rituals or procedures involved. All you need to do is say the four simple phrases: “I love you, I’m sorry, Please forgive me, Thank you.”

This practice helps you see how much you suffer because of the thought loops you get into, blaming the world and other people for your upset. But when you realize that you are love and you can love and forgive, you can move on.

I’m not pretending to be a convert, but I do find that repeating, I love you, I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, is calming. Maybe it’s because it pops me out of whatever neural pathway I’m jogging along?

Ho’oponopono practice is based on the belief that we are all connected and that our actions can have a ripple effect on the world around us. Maybe repeating the phrases is like taking a deep breath before telling the sales assistant in front of me how rude she is. Instead, I smile, and she smiles back.

And I’m in favor of anything that makes us smile.