Can Exes Be Friends?

What are the possibilities?

It’s hard to make friends when you’re single. It takes time, effort, and for some people, it just doesn’t happen at all. And then there are exes — people that were once partners in life but now find themselves on the opposite side of a breakup.

When does being an ex-partner become an ex-friend? What are the pros and cons of staying connected with your partner after the split?

The author explores these questions in this article about whether or not exes can be friends after a breakup.

“Why are old lovers able to become friends? Two reasons. They never truly loved each other, or they love each other still.” ― Whitney Otto

The Possibilities

Exes are not always enemies

Exes are not always enemies or strangers after a breakup. Sometimes they are friends, though that is not the case for everyone.

Exes can become friends post-breakup if both people want it to happen and make an effort to maintain their relationship in some way or another.

This could include staying connected on social media, keeping up with each other’s lives through mutual acquaintances, etc.

However, only when the decision of whether or not this will work out lies entirely with both parties, not just one person trying to get back together again.

Friends with benefits is a thing too

Sometimes exes become friends with benefits after a breakup. This is especially common if they both still have feelings that were not resolved during the separation and want to stay connected in some way but don’t necessarily want to get back together again.

If you’re considering this option for your own relationship, make sure you and your partner discuss what boundaries need to be set up so everyone can feel comfortable.

For example:

• Are there certain days or times when it’s okay?
• Can either person see other people outside of hanging out as ‘friends’?
• What happens when one party decides they want the same type of friendship with someone else instead?

These are all things that should be discussed before jumping into any arrangement like this without making sure everyone’s on the same page.

Dating your ex can be tricky, but it’s worth the risk sometimes

Dating your ex can be a tricky thing. If you’re wondering whether or not it’s worth the risk, there are some things to consider before making this decision:

• Do they still have feelings for their partner?
• What kind of relationship did you two have — was it healthy and loving, or abusive/toxic in any way?
• How do they feel about dating someone who is friends with their ex(es)?
• Can either person handle a casual arrangement that doesn’t lead anywhere beyond friendship if needed?

If all these questions get answered positively, then, by all means, go ahead. Just make sure everyone’s on the same page when discussing boundaries, so nobody gets hurt in the process.

In the end, if both parties are happy with this decision and can maintain a healthy relationship in whatever form it takes, then you’re doing yourself (and them) a favor.

Don’t let your past dictate the future you want to have

If you’re worried about what your past relationships mean for the future, don’t let them control how you live.

Instead, build a life that’s happy and fulfilling regardless of whether or not there is someone else in it with you.

With this mindset, exes really can be friends, friends who make each other feel better when they are apart by staying connected to each other through social media or mutual acquaintances until one day they realize maybe getting back together isn’t such a bad idea after all.

You may find that you’re better friends than lovers

In some cases, remaining friends after a breakup is absolutely possible, or that you’re better lovers than friends.

In other cases, it just doesn’t work out that way, and both people realize staying connected in any form isn’t worth the risk and takes their relationship to a professional level moving forward.

Just as long as everyone is on board with this decision and ready for whatever may come next.

If so, then go ahead; you can definitely be exes who are still buddies even after your split if all parties involved want it to happen.

It’s possible for exes to stay friends without any drama or resentment

Especially if both parties are mature and respectful of what used to be.

Don’t forget that it’s your life, not society’s or anyone else’s for that matter, so live it how you want without letting past relationships dictate the future happiness you deserve.

It is possible to have a healthy friendship with an ex after a breakup as long as everyone involved is on board with this decision.

As long as boundaries are set up from the get-go to ensure no one gets hurt in the process, then go ahead and forge a new connection while keeping old ones intact too! Just make sure everyone feels comfortable going into things before getting back together again.

How can you tell if it’s time to move on from your relationship and be friends?

It all depends on what kind of connection you two had together, how healthy or unhealthy the past was if either person has dated anyone else since then but especially one another.

There are a few red flags that should definitely be addressed; here’s what to look out for:

• If you’re going through difficult times and need someone to lean on, but they aren’t there.
• They don’t want to meet up with you in person or talk on the phone. They only text back maybe once a week, if even that often anymore.
• The more time passes from breaking up together, the less likely it is they’ll ever have feelings for you again no matter how much time has passed since then too.

The emotional connection isn’t there anymore, nor will it ever come back around so quickly after being gone for such a long period of time, either.

You can try asking them about their past relationship with you and if they want to get back together again, but more often than not, you’ll never hear from them because now they’re way happier with someone else.

If this is the case, don’t feel bad about it. You both moved on for a reason, so just be happy that’s all there is left between you two anymore instead of resenting each other or trying to bother one another.

Instead, try focusing on your own life and any personal relationships in your future, whether romantic or platonic ones too because those are far healthier for everyone involved, especially yourself as well rather than dragging out something negative like this.

Which could ruin anything good happening right now maybe even before it has time to begin properly either since people always need room to grow into better versions of themselves first and foremost.

Tips for maintaining a friendship with an ex-partner without getting back together

Be open about your feelings with that person and let them know you want to be friends rather than romantic partners again.

Let them do their own thing without too much intrusion from yourself, but keep in touch throughout the week, so they still feel connected to you on some level if it’s at all possible for either of you, even if there are no sparks anymore between both people.

If you only communicate through text or Facebook messages, then things may get out of hand quickly because emotions can fly high pretty fast, like wildfire unexpectedly when one least expects it, especially since this topic is already a sensitive one.

Don’t push someone into anything regarding getting back together romantically or staying platonic buddies despite what others might say/think about this matter.

Let them make their own choices and feel out the situation before anyone else steps in on it either.

Just provide a safe space for everyone involved to be open, honest, and vulnerable while still being comfortable enough with one another if that’s even possible anymore.

Without sacrificing your friendship or what you have gone together already no matter how hard it may seem, there could be something worth salvaging here if both people want it badly enough so don’t give up just yet.

“When things are falling apart, know they are actually falling into place.” - Staci A. Welch-Bartley

Conclusion

It can be challenging to make friends when you’re single, but it becomes even more difficult if one (or both) of your exes is also a friend.

However, making sure this works out for all parties involved lies entirely in each one of your hands and will depend on how much effort you’ll put into maintaining these relationships.

If neither person wants to work at it or doesn’t feel comfortable with the agreement made between them, then perhaps staying away from each other might be best.

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This post was inspired by https://www.abc.net.au

Originally published at implementationofwisdom.com

This content is for informational purposes only. It was not created to be a substitute for professional guidance, diagnosis, or treatment. Not all information will be accurate. Consider consulting with a professional or a specialist.