Call Your Grandma Before it’s Too Late

It might be easy to leave them to the side. Here’s how we can maintain the bond.

The thought of losing them and knowing that you didn’t keep in touch can be difficult to emotionally deal with it. This is why it’s important to take action as early as we can.

Now, you might be thinking,

What caused me to write this?

The moment of inspiration struck me when my mother asked me,

have you called your grandma in Birmingham yet?

The idea of calling my grandmother had literally slipped out of my mind.

And there’s only one reason for this.

The overwhelm of my day-to-day tasks, and to be honest, I am the one to blame.

Why?

Because I am very sure I can manage my time effectively enough, to make room for a call with my grandmother.

Adding to that, watching my grandfather take his last breath, was enough to make me value time with my elders.

It amazes me just how fast time just flies.

One moment we're with them, the other, you’re watching them take their last breath.

I often used to say,

I’ll call them tomorrow or next week.

Until it hits me that I've left it too long.

This is when I thought that, other people might also be going through this.

I hope this can be your reminder or wake-up call too.

Now that I’ve covered the reasoning as to why I chose to write this post, let’s go over the consequences of not keeping in touch.

I don’t mean to scare you, I just hope it gives you that extra push to send that message or make that call.

Consequences of not keeping in touch with our elders.

When I did some research on this, I found some information that might give you some perspective.

#1: It can affect their psychological wellbeing on a daily basis.

According to an interesting article by the National Library Of Medicine.

Socially isolated elderly are less likely to be able to receive informal/formal support and are more likely to be depressive and concerned about the future, whether or not they live alone or with family. The results showed many problems to exist in everyday life and psychological well-being. Social support availability and psychological well-being among the socially isolated elderly. Differences by living arrangement and gender

It’s clear that even within a family, no communication or exchange between the elderly and co-residents can affect psychological wellbeing.

I’ve seen circumstances where grandparents live with relatives, but still feel lonely because there simply isn’t enough communication happening.

A feeling as though no one really likes their presence. I know this because it’s what my grandfather would say when living with his relatives.

My grandma often tell when me I give her a call after a long time,

“im really grateful for your call, I feel so much better. It feels like someone is really there for me”. My grandmother.

Her soft voice would really melt my heart, and it was a very healing experience for me.

I received a great feeling of satisfaction knowing that my grandmother is safe and well.

Moving on.

#2. You don’t get a chance to build a real bond.

I also found an amazing point from the British Psychological Society

Because they are close but do not have a parental authority role, grandparents can act as confidants in situations where an older child might not wish to confide in a parent. Grandparents and grandchildren

It also rings true in my experience, my grandfather father and I shared a close bond.

He revealed things that my parents didn't, and I was able to open up about the issues I was having. I would never think of sharing that with my uncle or parents. It was a totally unique relationship.

One of the most valuable things that I learned when talking to him was.

1. Family is everything, like it or not, you need them.

2. Enjoy life, it’s ok to indulge from time to time.

3. Never be shy to speak up for yourself and be honest.

Even though he's no longer with us, I'm really glad that I got to spend that time with him. We certainly had some of the best moments together.

I remember those long car rides and a stopover at the sandwich van. Reminiscing those conversations about life over an omelette sandwich and a cup of tea.

Nothing quite like it.

#3: We don’t get to find out about their health issues.

I'd love to link to an article about this. However, it’s fairly obvious that if we don’t keep in touch with our grandparents often, were oblivious to their health issues.

Not only that, but they’re also able to be more transparent and confident in talking to you about their health issues.

I remember my grandmother saying that she wouldn’t want people to know about her health issues because it might bother them.

However, when I engaged in conversation, she felt confident about bringing it up.

This means that she's able to get the right help a lot quicker and more conveniently, even though she is surprisingly independent in her ways.

So, it’s quite obvious that calling your grandparents might actually help them live longer.

Simple, unique, creative and unexpected ways you can keep in touch with your grandparents.

I'm sure we all know the good old telephone, which is still hands-down the best mode of communication.

However, there are tools we can use to make that time a lot more special.

Here's a list with a few links, these ideas are also lockdown proof too.

> Handmade postcards and handwritten letters

Whether you’re travelling or just have a thoughtful message you’d like to send. There’s no better feeling than your grandma smiling to a thoughtful message from you. It's something quick and convenient.

As with letters, in this day and age, it’s something that we just don’t receive. Give your grandparents a flashback from the past with a beautiful handwritten letter. It works because It's something that they’re familiar with.

> E-cards.

We live in the 21st century, there exist E-cards and E-post cards that can be much more interactive and colourful. Though, it might be a little challenging for grandpas and grandmas to access if they're not that great with the tech.

Some links you might find useful.

• 2050.cards
• Jibjab (this one allows you to your face, check it out).
• Smilebox (this ones free).

> Scheduled visits on a weekly basis (virtually).

It's always good to set an event, that we can plan and are able to make more time for each other, both of us know that it's happening and should stay prepared

An event in the calendar we can all look forward to.

> Your grandparents can be your virtual cooking instructors.

I’ve seen my mother calling my grandmother to take her cooking to another level. Really nice to see them interact in that way. Try involving them more in your day-to-day activities, you’ll be amazed by the wealth of knowledge our grandparents have.

> Messaging services that are kid-friendly.

Grandparents always love keeping in touch with kids, ensuring that the bond is maintained is key. There are plenty of kid-friendly messaging apps out there, here are a few that come to mind.

Some links you might find useful.

• Messenger kids
• JusTalk Kids (read about it on the educational app store)
• Google Hangouts (i included this since it comes with parental controls, which can be handy).

> Praying together.

Since grandparents have so much more experience on faith, they have a thing two to teach us. Although I’ve never really had much faith, my grandmother was always inspired by her commitment to her faith, it also contributed to her warm and accommodating personality.

> Special deliveries.

This one is my favourite, who doesn’t like receiving a package out of the blue. It’s something out of the ordinary for our beloved grandparents. You could send over a box of chocolates, some flowers, something from Amazon.

Surprise them with something thoughtful, A unique way for us to let them know how much they mean to us.

I can go on and on,

In the end, you need to find what works for you and your family.

That said, please do take some time to contact your grandparents in whatever way you choose, they will certainly be grateful for your effort and creativity.

Do this before it's too late!

Let’s sum it all up.

I hope that I've given you enough reasons to keep in touch with your grandparents.

It’s clear that there are psychological effects when there isn’t enough communication between us, our grandparents.

However, there are plenty of steps we can take to reignite that communication and even make it fun and memorable.

With postcards, letters, fun video conversations and games, technology has brought all the closer to each other, regardless of distance.

Of course, nothing can replace physically togetherness, however, there are plenty of things we can do to maintain that special bond with our grandparents.

To end this story, ill say this.

Take action today, and you won’t have regrets later on.

Thank you for reading, and I wish you all the best in your connection with your grandparents.

I'd also love your feedback on my writing, I'm constantly trying to improve. I highly value your suggestions, thoughts, and responses.

References

These sources have really helped in giving information and inspiration.

National Library of Medicine.

Kobayashi E, Fujiwara Y, Fukaya T, Nishi M, Saito M, Shinkai S. [Social support availability and psychological well-being among the socially isolated elderly. Differences by living arrangement and gender]. Nihon Koshu Eisei Zasshi. 2011 Jun;58(6):446–56. Japanese. PMID: 21970078.

Grandparents and grandchildren

Smith, P. K. S. (n.d.). Grandparents and grandchildren. The British Psychological Society. Retrieved December 29, 2021, from https://thepsychologist.bps.org.uk/volume-18/edition-11/grandparents-and-grandchildren

Creative Ideas for Staying in Touch with Grandchildren from Afar

Here are creative ways grandkids can keep in touch with their grandparents during the lockdown

HOW GRANDPARENTS CAN KEEP IN TOUCH WITH GRANDKIDS WHILE SOCIAL DISTANCING

Thank you for reading.