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Abstract

urked in the shadows, afraid of our own power.</p><p id="a30f">Believe it or not, the word<i> <a href="https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/sinister#note-2">sinister</a> </i>traces its origins back to the Latin adjective <i>sinistral</i>. And this was a very real view of lefties, we powerful few were associated for centuries with all manners of evil and devilish things.</p><p id="6283">Indeed, up until recently, many natural lefties were taught out of being left-handed as children. One of my uncles was forced to write with his right hand as a child out of this fear.</p><p id="31e6">Now, the tables have turned.</p><p id="e55f">Day by day it becomes more obvious that you righties cannot get anything right. (Ironic but nonetheless sad).</p><p id="a1fe"><i>Obama</i></p><p id="4d43"><i>Aristotle</i></p><p id="ef10"><i>Da Vinci</i></p><p id="69ab"><i>Bill Gates</i></p><p id="3660"><i>Hellen Keller</i></p><p id="f954">The list of great left-handers goes on…</p><p id="12cb">And don’t bother looking for despicable lefties because there aren’t any. (No, seriously, please don’t look, it really messes up my narrative here).</p><p id="71b3">In fact, it is probably not too hyperbolic to state that all of the greatest people who will and have ever existed are lefties.</p><p id="7b28">That is why I write this letter to all you right-handed hooligans today.</p><p id="8789">As the self-appointed leader of this crusade, I am coming for you and your like-handed brethren. And when I come, my vengeance will by swift and decisive.</p><p id="f790">Any that do not immediately convert to the <i>one true hand </i>will

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perish. Those that survive will watch the establishment of a new world order. A global totalitarian regime run by the <i>sinistral </i>themselves.</p><p id="3c3c">Good luck.</p><p id="3c33">You brought this upon yourselves.</p><p id="518a">The supreme-handed one,</p><p id="8638">Joshua</p><p id="9c9b"><i>More tomfoolery?</i></p><div id="0f56" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/local-man-makes-millions-landing-on-go-instead-of-passing-it-85e6fb2d0329"> <div> <div> <h2>Local Man Makes Millions Landing On Go Instead Of Passing It</h2> <div><h3>Authorities aren’t pleased</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*HPDJhYnGbia45m7VkU5uxg.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="a759" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/i-earned-2-372-off-my-first-article-without-even-trying-7571b22d799d"> <div> <div> <h2>I Earned $2,372 Off My First Article Without Even Trying</h2> <div><h3>The layman’s guide to becoming an overnight sensation</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*eGKD5-cIoiqb9GvfIDQKJA.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

Call Me Crazy, But The World Would Be Better Off Without Right-Handed People

A loving letter from a leftie

Dear right-handed people,

Stop.

Please, just stop existing.

The world is on the brink of cooking itself to death, populism idiocy runs rampant, baby wipes clog sewers, — and all the while millions of people use right-handed scissors. It is no coincidence.

Here’s the hot-take no one is talking about: all of the world’s woes are caused by right-handed people.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I love right-handed people. I have even been friends with right-handed people. And, according to Scientific American, 70–95% of all the people I have ever met are right-handed.

It will be hard to part with these folks.

I will have to sacrifice both of my siblings and my father. But I see no way around it. They have to go.

The thing is, the world knew this would happen.

Us lefties have long lurked in the shadows, afraid of our own power.

Believe it or not, the word sinister traces its origins back to the Latin adjective sinistral. And this was a very real view of lefties, we powerful few were associated for centuries with all manners of evil and devilish things.

Indeed, up until recently, many natural lefties were taught out of being left-handed as children. One of my uncles was forced to write with his right hand as a child out of this fear.

Now, the tables have turned.

Day by day it becomes more obvious that you righties cannot get anything right. (Ironic but nonetheless sad).

Obama

Aristotle

Da Vinci

Bill Gates

Hellen Keller

The list of great left-handers goes on…

And don’t bother looking for despicable lefties because there aren’t any. (No, seriously, please don’t look, it really messes up my narrative here).

In fact, it is probably not too hyperbolic to state that all of the greatest people who will and have ever existed are lefties.

That is why I write this letter to all you right-handed hooligans today.

As the self-appointed leader of this crusade, I am coming for you and your like-handed brethren. And when I come, my vengeance will by swift and decisive.

Any that do not immediately convert to the one true hand will perish. Those that survive will watch the establishment of a new world order. A global totalitarian regime run by the sinistral themselves.

Good luck.

You brought this upon yourselves.

The supreme-handed one,

Joshua

More tomfoolery?

Local Man Makes Millions Landing On Go Instead Of Passing It

Authorities aren’t pleased

medium.com

I Earned $2,372 Off My First Article Without Even Trying

The layman’s guide to becoming an overnight sensation

medium.com