Calibration Error

A poem on melancholia

What is this wilted dampness inside? A dreary snot covered window, hazy and blurred Yellowed cotton diluting the sharpness of my senses A perpetual droop around every corner

I tell myself: This is just a calibration error Small gaps between the mind and heart To be adjusted away, easy peasy A little breathing, a walk in the sunshine

But then I remember I felt it then too All that time back, when I was surrounded Crowds didn’t bring joy, they just brought …. Melancholia

How do I explain it? It’s like a longing except there’s nothing to long for It’s like sadness, even when I’m happy It’s a sour hint, a breath of nostalgia

It coats everything, settles in deep Its tendrils reaching in, forming roots Leading the way for my heart to sink Deep into the belly of the earth

That’s why I think it is indeed a calibration error The zero pointing at negative one, the brain interpreting the equilibrium to mean Something is amiss, to hunt for the non-existent

Silly lil brain, overworking as usual Even when unnecessary Just stay present, don’t compromise this beautiful moment, that’s here with me now.

Feelings change with the season, just as sure as night turns to day, and just as sure as Doppler dictates the sound outside will move on. It will change, it will shift. Just not today.