A Little Legal Humor — Episode 1
Humor won’t remove the bumps of life, but it will smooth them out!
If you don’t think the law is a laughing matter, think again. A U. S. Supreme Court justice recently said: “We now have over 10,000,000 laws — to enforce the 10 commandments.”
And these 10 million laws don’t do a very good job, do they?
And who writes our laws? And who wrote our Constitution? LAWYERS!!!
While our U. S. Constitution is not a laughing matter, the lawyers involved in it, and the laws that evolved from it (and the judges that interpret them) can be very serious laughing matters.
Sometimes you just have to laugh to keep from crying!
And what I’ve discovered is that most people LIKE jokes about law, justice, lawyers and judges. Being a lawyer, I’ve collected some of these jokes and humorous stories for years.
For several years, I did a motivational, humorous and musical talk all around the Rocky Mountain area, and I used a lot of legal humor in it.
Many things in life can be humorous. This talk was humorous in a way. I used to get standing ovations at breakfasts and dinners. But at lunches, people looked at me like the barn door was left open. They were looking for something more educational and profound.
I also built my law practice singing in nightclubs at night — and passing out business cards at the breaks! What better place to meet people who need an attorney?
In Colorado USA, I guess The Denver Post and Rocky Mountain News thought a lawyer performing in bars was newsworthy. They did articles about me: “The Singing Attorney,” “The Court Jester.” The publicity was fantastic.
Now, Let’s Get Down to the Serious Business of Humor
Despite what is thought, ‘J.D.’ after my name means juris doctor, and not juvenile delinquent.
It is true that most of us lawyers are educated beyond our intellects, — does not necessarily mean we’re smart. In fact, some of us might behave like we are juvenile delinquents in some way or other,… in the way that we try to get our way in everything, whether we are right or wrong.
Only lawyers and painters can turn black and white into grey.
Most lawyers want the public to look at us reverently. But in reality, most tend to look at us irreverently instead.
You know who lawyers are: they are people who will spend your last cent to prove they’re right. And then they’re wrong half the time!
Someone asked, “What’s wrong with lawyer jokes?” The answer came: Lawyers don’t think they are funny. Other people think the jokes are serious.
Here’s Some Basic Questions and Answers:
How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? — Answer: when his mouth is moving.
What do you have if three lawyers are buried up to their necks in sand? — Answer: not enough sand.
If you have a bad lawyer, why not get a new one? — Answer: changing lawyers is like moving chairs on the Titanic.
What do you call a retired lawyer? — Answer: Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer who has gone bad? — Answer: Senator.
Two Different Ways of Viewing Lawyers
In Hamlet, Shakespeare says, “The first order of business is to kill all the lawyers.” God forbid!
Pogo, our cartoon philosopher friend gave an alternative: “Let’s just shorten their legal pads.” This sounds a lot better to me, doesn’t it to you?
My purpose in this writing is to give you greater fondness for lawyers.
Or maybe, perhaps just tolerance?
Remember that lawyers are people too. Well, at least most of them,… and at least most of the time.