Free AI web copilot to create summaries, insights and extended knowledge, download it at here

Abstract

ith a White man. I remember what it was like to get pregnant and all of a sudden, worries about the baby’s colour surfaced.I never hid the fact that my father was Black and my mother was White, never. I’m proud of it. And my boyfriend at the time had no issue with it. Neither did his family, at first.Until I got knocked up. Well damn, look out, all of a sudden the concerns started:What will the baby look like?What colour will the baby be?What if the baby looks Black?Oh, and then there was the collective sigh of relief when each of my 3 boys “came out White,” including my middle son who one relative on his father’s side actually called “the perfect Aryan baby,” no joke.<figure id="d22c"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*LCSO5-9pMSf2Uh5XZYJfkg.jpeg"><figcaption>My Middle Son at 2, Photo Courtesy of the Author</figcaption></figure>Those words came out of her mouth. Suffice it to say we never went there again!These weren’t rich people. These weren’t high-society people. They weren’t trying to protect any position in society. They were pretty much-unemployed hillbillies. Honestly, I prettied that mess up. Sorry, not sorry.<figure id="6d6c"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*nnfx_WzgRtLGLKOgwnVmqw.jpeg"><figcaption>Who wouldn’t adore t

Options

hese boys? Photo Courtesy of the Author</figcaption></figure>And when my boys, who all have curly hair, started showing signs of kinks in their baby locks, look out, something was about to come running out that woodpile, ya’ll know exactly what I’m saying. The panic, oh wow!My ex-mother-in-law tried to convince me to tell people I was Irish to explain the curls. Well, I am part Irish, 10% according to Ancestry. But guess what, another 40% is African and Jewish, how do you like them apples?I have 3 gorgeous boys. They’re men now. My oldest is 32. My middle and youngest will be 30 and 28, respectively in October. They’re handsome, brilliant and very, very proud of their mixed heritage.I don’t know if it’s intentional or not, but the damage people do fretting over what colour a baby might turn out to be when one person is White and another is mixed is damaging. It’s hurtful. It’s disgusting.I took my kids away from those people. You either love them for who they are or you can bounce! I don’t care. If you don’t like the shade of my kid, you can find the Black half of my ass and kiss it. It’s pretty big, can’t miss it.But thinking about my conversation with this kid and my life, I feel a bit sad. It makes me wonder if we’ve come any distance at all since the 90s when my kids were born. All babies are beautiful, and sometimes people just suck.</article></body>

But What If The Baby Comes Out Black?

When “Hidden” Racism Rears Its Ugly Head

I’m a little ugly right now. I was at the park and we ran into a guy who had a nice dog that Rudy played with. We got to talking about life and stuff and somehow the Royal family came up.

Well, shit! Didn’t I stumble upon a royal watcher! All of a sudden I’m getting an earful of the evils of Megan Markle and how the family has done so much for race relations.

Yeah, I don’t see it that way. First off, I don’t know Meghan from a hole in the ground. Don’t need to. She might be nice, she might not be, not my circus, not my monkeys. But I do know she got herself a Black mother and a White daddy and I know what that means to White folk.

I didn’t say anything to this kid at the park as he went on and on praising the Royals. I wasn’t in the mood for a throwdown with a millennial. I’m middle-aged and fights are just so inconvenient.

But damn if my blood ain’t boiling. Why? Because I remember what it was like to be mixed-race, with a White man. I remember what it was like to get pregnant and all of a sudden, worries about the baby’s colour surfaced.

I never hid the fact that my father was Black and my mother was White, never. I’m proud of it. And my boyfriend at the time had no issue with it. Neither did his family, at first.

Until I got knocked up. Well damn, look out, all of a sudden the concerns started:

What will the baby look like?

What colour will the baby be?

What if the baby looks Black?

Oh, and then there was the collective sigh of relief when each of my 3 boys “came out White,” including my middle son who one relative on his father’s side actually called “the perfect Aryan baby,” no joke.

My Middle Son at 2, Photo Courtesy of the Author

Those words came out of her mouth. Suffice it to say we never went there again!

These weren’t rich people. These weren’t high-society people. They weren’t trying to protect any position in society. They were pretty much-unemployed hillbillies. Honestly, I prettied that mess up. Sorry, not sorry.

Who wouldn’t adore these boys? Photo Courtesy of the Author

And when my boys, who all have curly hair, started showing signs of kinks in their baby locks, look out, something was about to come running out that woodpile, ya’ll know exactly what I’m saying. The panic, oh wow!

My ex-mother-in-law tried to convince me to tell people I was Irish to explain the curls. Well, I am part Irish, 10% according to Ancestry. But guess what, another 40% is African and Jewish, how do you like them apples?

I have 3 gorgeous boys. They’re men now. My oldest is 32. My middle and youngest will be 30 and 28, respectively in October. They’re handsome, brilliant and very, very proud of their mixed heritage.

I don’t know if it’s intentional or not, but the damage people do fretting over what colour a baby might turn out to be when one person is White and another is mixed is damaging. It’s hurtful. It’s disgusting.

I took my kids away from those people. You either love them for who they are or you can bounce! I don’t care. If you don’t like the shade of my kid, you can find the Black half of my ass and kiss it. It’s pretty big, can’t miss it.

But thinking about my conversation with this kid and my life, I feel a bit sad. It makes me wonder if we’ve come any distance at all since the 90s when my kids were born. All babies are beautiful, and sometimes people just suck.