Bullfighting: When Unathletic Men Dress Up Like Princes & Torture Animals

Yesterday, my wife’s family took me to my first Bullfight in Zacatecas, Mexico. I must admit that upon arrival I was excited to see something new, even though I didn’t know exactly what to expect. But by the death of the second bull, I got up from my concrete seat in the ‘Plaza de Toros Monumental ‘— which reminded me of ‘The Coliseum’ — and went home.

Here are a few thoughts about the experience.

• The game is rigged. I thought bullfighting was between one matador and one bull — a somewhat fair battle. It’s not. Before the matador runs his blade through the bull’s shoulder-blades for the final blow, dozens of other men dressed like clowns have already terrorized, stabbed, and psychologically tortured the bull. By the time the matador squares off face to face with the bull in the middle of the ring, the animal is already bleeding profusely and likely at 50%-60% of its strength. Ultimately, the matador kills an already depleted and dying animal — not a bull at the peak of its power. It’s like watching someone get jumped (beat up by multiple people), then murdered after they’ve already been beaten down.
• Matadors aren’t athletes. I love Hemingway and always thought Matadors were tough, strong, brave men. They’re not. They’re actually little punks. The second matador I saw looked like he weighed 120 pounds. He wore tights and danced around with tassels on his shoulders and a bunch of fancy clothes to show off. After stabbing the dying bull, he arrogantly threw his head back with pride. Furthermore, nothing he did while torturing and eventually killing the bull was particularly athletic or impressive. I doubt he would make a high school football team in the U.S. — certainly not in Texas. I would love to see this “macho” matador in a ring with Mike Tyson, Floyd Mayweather, or Gervonta Davis (ie. actual tough men). They would knock his head off, and it would be well-deserved.

Final Thoughts

Bullfighting is not a sport. Sports have rules that create fairness among the players. Bullfighting is a bunch of dudes dressed up like princes torturing animals in front of a blood-thirsty crowd.

Furthermore, not all culture is created equal. And part of my right, perhaps even my duty, as a free-thinking human being is that I don’t have to like or even respect all aspects of every culture. Just because I consider myself an open-minded person doesn’t mean I have to bite my tongue when I see elements of a culture that I consider cruel, barbaric, or simply bullshit.

And bullfighting, I can say without a doubt, is just that — bullshit.